So tonight I found out I'm pregnant, me and OH are getting married this year, I have 2 DS from a previous relationship and his has DD, so between us we have 3 children. We have talked about having a baby together but decided 3 between us was enough and we do ok for a family of 5 on our income.
A couple of weeks ago, we were drunk and had unprotected sex, I know so stupid, but I do have PCOS and don't ovulate and have struggled with infertility and had to have drugs to help me get pregnant, so i thought we would of been ok.
Not felt myself this weekend, really tired and lightheaded so to put the worry out of my head I took a test and its positive, faint but still 2 lines.
I feel so upset that I'm going to have to make a hard decision because we cannot afford it. The cost of living crisis means we cannot comfortably manage with a new baby, maternity pay etc and then childcare after when it's time to go back to work. I am so angry that if money wasn't an issue we would be having this baby, a baby that would be ours and due after our wedding.
I am so angry but I am not sure at who, myself for being so stupid that I am now having to do this, the government, the world, and I feel really bad as I have struggled with infertility and not once did I think I would be here.
Just needed to get this off my chest as I can't tell anyone in real life. I'm so scared of how I will feel after too, guilt or regret, all for the sake of money.