Pregnant at 45. Don't know what to do.

[notsureconfused]

I've just discovered I'm pregnant at 45. I'm probably 5ish weeks I think. I have 2 teenage children (18 & 15) and a 2 year old too. My older children were conceived via ivf and then I had a huge surprise with my naturally conceived youngest. I lost a lot of weight prior to conceiving him and the Dr's thought that probably helped me get pregnant with him as apparently dramatic weight loss can make you super fertile (I don't know how medically correct that is!) We weren't trying to get pregnant, nor were we careful as after years of infertility we didn't think we needed to be. We love our youngest but have found it very hard. We are older, more tired and we had got used to having freedom again since the older 2 were growing up. Our eldest is at university. Now i have just discovered I'm pregnant again. Obviously it's our own stupid fault but we don't know what to do. We are worn out with our toddler, we don't want to go through it again. My husband wants an abortion. I don't know if I can do it though. What do we do?

I agree with what recycledkettle has said. Your youngest will have a sibling close in age which would be nice. Don't have an abortion if it's something you will regret in years to come.

Sorry you’re having to make this decision, it’s really not an easy one. Obviously your situation is far more nuanced than one message can convey but this line sounds pretty important: ‘We are worn out with our toddler, we don't want to go through it again’. To offer a different perspective to the others yes your third child would have a sibling close in age but does that matter? And do you have the resources for a 4th? When I made my choice to terminate what would have been my third time and energy were big factors - didn’t want to split myself again, for the sake of my 2 and 4 year old.

Did you feel the same when you found out you were pregnant with your third? Were you considering a termination and decided to continue?

It’s definitely not been a walk in the park for me since I had the abortion - it’s been emotionally very difficult but 7 months on I know I made the right decision for all of us at the time.