I'm so sorry that you are going through this awful time @Guiltymumofthree,and I am not trying to stick up for your husband - or men in general - I am just letting you know from my own experiences (most not personal to me ones), that far too many men seem to believe that periods, a lack of periods, problems with periods, pregnancy, abortions, miscarriages, and childbirth, are all 'womanly things', and that they should stay out of it.
Those same men will (sometimes unconsciously) think it is best to leave anything, and everything, to do with a womans reproductive system to 'the women' - except of course while they are in the process of getting their own sexual enjoyment and satisfaction from that same reproductive system - Unless we tell them, they apparently know nothing about how painful periods can be, how rotten our menstrual cycles can be, or even how boring over 30 years of having monthly blood loss, pain etc can be.
Then when we are pregnant they might hear us being sick, but instead of coming and holding our hair out of our faces, giving us drinks of flat lemonade, and ginger biscuits, and then doing a lot more - if not all of - the household chores, they still expect us to carry on as normal. These types of men, seem to go around wearing blinkers and ear plugs, and even if they seem intelligent in some ways, they are, or appear to be, completely without any sort of imagination. So when it comes to their partner needing an abortion for whatever reason - even if they are the main driving force behind it - they do not even realise that extra support is needed, that we need to know that we are very much loved by them, and that they are needed to show us both physical support, and emotional support, in fact often the need for emotional support is our greatest need at that time.
Very sadly, men like that will tell themselves that we are much better left alone in any of the above circumstances, when in reality, for most of us, that is the worst thing they can do. So Dads and Mums of sons need to talk to their sons about womens periods, and womens reproductive years, and even the possible lack of reproductive years for some women. If your sons are lucky enough to have grandparents, or great Aunts and Uncles still alive, please ask them to explain to your sons about the peri-menopause and the actual menopause itself. But men often seem to come into a relationship with a women without any previous knowledge, or even thoughts, about these things. In those cases, with those men, we their partners, have to be the ones to explain all about the difficulties - and joys - that being a woman really means.
If you have managed to struggle through all of my thoughts here OP, do you think that your husband could be like the ones I have tried to describe here? If you do think that it may be ignorance, rather than not caring, that has made your husband so useless on this occasion, then I am afraid that you will need to sit him down, and explain to him in simple words, how and why he needs to massively step-up his thoughts and actions in these matters.
Please don't feel guilty OP, I am sure that you have thought very thoroughly about having an abortion, and that it will be best for all of you, including your children, to not have another child. I truly think that with all the decisions and choices we need to make, being a Mum is the most difficult job in the world. Maybe if your husband really wants to support you OP, and if you are both sure that you don't want anymore children, for whatever reason, he will agree to have the snip - if he does, it would be interesting to see if he expects any extra support during that time...
I'm sending you lots of love, and I wish that I could send you a cuddly warm hot-water-bottle, some paracetamol and or Ibuprofen, a lovely hot drink of your choice, flowers, and a husband who has had an enormous kick up the backside to cuddle and reasure you
💐💐💐