Hi,
I recently found out I am unexpectedly pregnant with my 3rd child. Apologies to anyone this upsets, but my initial reaction to seeing the positive test was dread and fear. This is despite even a few months ago we had been considering whether we want another child, but had ultimately come to the conclusion that we did not.
I immediately contacted Marie Stopes and on Tuesday received my pills. I am now around 7 weeks. So far though, I have not been able to take them. I just feel so overwhelmed and it's making me feel sick and dizzy. My partner supports me either way, but is in the same indecisive boat as myself now. I wish we had been able to get the pills as soon as we found out, but in the couple of weeks it took then we've had time to overthink everything. I tried to ask for counseling but there are no appointments until march.
We are blessed with two wonderful children already. They would be 5 and 3 when this one was born, if we were to proceed with the pregnancy. I feel like we should count our blessings and focus on the children we have, with my younger one especially still really needing me and being of a very shy/cautious temperament. However, the next moment I find myself imagining the fantasy life with 3 of them. I know the fantasy is not real though, as my elder child was very colicy as a baby and I was very depressed, and neither child slept through the night for a long time. I have loved the baby years but they have not been easy. We could do it again but it would be hard. Equally I worry that if I had a child with additional needs or twins then we could absolutely not cope.
I'm just terrified and overwhelmed. I keep reading stories of women who have never got over their decision. I'm just going round in circles. If there's anyone out their reading this then I'd appreciate some impartial advice.
Thank you.