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Pregnancy choices

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Abortion after already having children (your stories)

3 replies

buppys · 07/02/2023 21:22

I have a 1.5 year old daughter and am about 6 weeks pregnant and I have booked a phone consultation for an abortion. My relationship isn't great atm, we are financially screwed, and I'm behind on my studies as it is.
I feel so guilty and I wish my situation was better because my daughter is my world and I would LOVE to have another sweet baby and my heart is breaking right now.
I've always been pro-choice but after having my daughter that choice seems so much harder now. Have any other mums been through this? I'm sure I'm doing the right thing for everyone involved but I'd love to hear some positive stories about mums who have had abortions after having children, or even some encouraging words.

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Jsh125 · 07/02/2023 22:54

Hi, so sorry you've found yourself having to make a tough decision too.
I've had 2 abortions after having my 2 children so can empathise with how it feels to find yourself with a surprise pregnancy.
I am completely pro choice too but had always believed i wouldn't be able to bring myself to actually have an abortion - until I found myself unexpectedly pregnant after what we had agreed was our family complete.

It's such an individual situation but although it wasn't an easy choice I knew deep down it was right for us & the children we already have. I spent a lot of time thinking it through but kept coming back to abortion being the right choice for so many reasons & fortunately we were both on the same page. So in that sense I didn't waiver from our decision but that certainly doesn't mean i didn't find it incredibly hard & emotional to go through.

I love my two children more than anything in the world but felt so differently about the subsequent pregnancies. I didn't feel attached to them & tried not to think too much about what they may have become once born, not what sex they'd be etc.. it helped me cope I think.

Having said that, if I had only had one child then there's no way we'd have aborted a second as we wanted more than one child so would've made it work even if it was sooner than planned - in fact that kind of is what happened with our second, not entirely unplanned but definitely sooner than we were planning.

It must be so hard when your head & heart are telling you 2 different things & my only advice would be to not rush a decision, 6 weeks is still early so you have a bit of time on your side to make a choice.

I found the abortions hard to go through but I absolutely don't regret it, I'm 5 months down the line now & know we made the right choice.

Sorry I can't help make a decision for you but hope sharing my experience helps in some way 😊

heartbroken22 · 09/02/2023 11:56

All I can say is follow your heart. I think my daughter was 14 months when I was pregnant and I had terrible hg. It just had to be done even though I felt guilt for a long time afterwards. What I can say is trust your maternal instincts and follow your heart. Write down why you want to have a termination so u remember afterwards when the hormones have settled down. You'll just know what's the right decision at this time for you. I spent some more time with my one year old and then got pregnancy again. It's been tough but I've accepted it. Good luck x

buppys · 15/02/2023 13:33

@Jsh125 @heartbroken22
Thank you both so much, I didn't reply sooner because things have been hectic (as you can imagine) but wanted to let you know that these replies really helped make me feel less alone and slightly less guilty about everything.
I've taken the first tablet and will take the others tomorrow. I feel awful but I know it's what I need to do for myself and my daughter.
I just can't believe I was never told the contraceptive pill can stop working if you fall ill😭

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