How did you feel after?

[Northerngal02]

I had a MA 31 December 2021 at home, it was very traumatic, very heavy and very painful. Afterwards, I struggled with regret and guilt and spiralled into a low way to the point I just used to think I wanted to end it and be with my baby. I realised in November 2022 that I had to forgive myself and let it rest. I do think now that I made the right decision 100% and I do still think about it from time to time but it doesn’t upset me anymore. I try to think it was just saying I’m not ready for you quite yet but I will be one day. Anyone going through it at the moment sending you love, if you are struggling with the choice you made, it does get easier and one day you will feel happy again ♥️ xx

I felt heartbroken hence my username. I remember feeling absolutely awful and feeling like no one got me. Felt lost and broken. Cherished the kids I have. Went to toys stores and spoilt them rotten. Felt like getting the eldest out of school at at dinner time to give her a hug and take her to the park. Then over time realised my choice was right because I was really sick. Got pregnant again 5-6 months later and understood my abortion better as those feelings struggling with being sick in pregnancy came back. But I was a bit more prepared this time. Have come to terms with pregnancy this time at 16-17 weeks. Feel a lot better. Obviously accept the abortion but when I'm typing like this I always wonder what that baby would have been like. But it's okay. It's just human to ponder and wonder xx