Do I abort or not

[Clairefarl]

Right we’ll I dint know where else to turn I found this site so I’m gonna just go ahead , i am 41 in April 2023 I have 4 children all at home boy 22 boy 19 girl 11 boy 6 , I suffer with my mental health and depression and up until 5 weeks ago every Friday when I didn’t have the kids I would drink and take cocaine I did thsi for 15 years , last year I met someone 11 years younger than me he was on cocaine also but he done it everyday I managed to get him off it , he has 2 children he doesn’t see also , we’ll I left him 5 weeks ago because we just argued to much he is very lazy and suffers with his mental health aswell , we was together a year and I ended it quit drinking cause I didn’t want to do cocaine anymore and that was the trigger for it , I was doing so well my mental health was getting better , I am 16 stone so I started to diet and workout , until 8 days ago I found out I was pregnant and now my life feels like it’s on hold u till I can decide what to do for the best , I told my ex he wants to keep the baby but we keep arguing cause he’s making it all about him and then saying he dnt know if he wants it , I am so confused I am currently on benefits living in a a 3 bed home I won’t get no extra financial support for this child I’m not to worried about that cause I will get by but the space at home is a issue my toxic ex is an issue my age is an issue and my mental health I’m scare I will fall back into depression , I am in the best place I have ever been in my life since giving up drink and cocaine I get up everyday happy I clean I decorate I go for walks I was doing kettle bell classes I felt like my life was content and now I don’t know what I’m going to do I’m only about 6 weeks pregnant , can anyone give me some advice please on helping making the right decision as one minute I want to keep it cause I love all my children and I pride myself in being a really good mum and I know when the child is here I will love it unconditionally but it’s not without it’s stresses and I don’t want to be tied to my ex please help if you have been I. Similar situation please

I'd never give this advice but your situation sounds very toxic and you seem very vulnerable. You haven't been off the drink and cocaine long either. He doesn't seem in the best place to offer support and help either (which you will need when pregnant). Write everything down and make a decision.
I'm sure you are a lovely mum.

I'd contact the clinic too to see if they can offer any support before you make a decision .

Hi thanks for your message , I will never go back to drink or cocaine I only did it on Fridays when I did t have the kids , something has switched in me and I no longer want it or need it it doesn’t serve me at all , I see what your saying tho I have written it all down the pros and cons theirs more cons but still I am struggling to make the decision, after I wrote this earlier I was reading peoples post 40 and pregnant and I was more leaning to keeping the baby , now I’m leaning the other way again , i guess I’ll know when I know and make the right choice xx

Yeah please don't worry just trust the decision you make and why u made it if you ever look back xx