Abortion, need some support.

[Heathernoll]

Hi all, I've been religiously reading on mumsnet to help with anxiety I am feeling.
I found out I was pregnant over a week ago and a half and instantly new I did not want to go ahead. I have to admit I feel like I have been living in a nightmare since, struggling to eat and I can't seem to stop worrying. I am not enjoying life and I'm desperately trying to sort this.
I have an appointment at the hospital next week (I originally had one at nupass but I then found a hospital near to me and decided to go there for an appointment). Still have another appointment with nupass as well so will attend both next week.
I have attended 1 appointment with nupass and during that she scanned me and could not find the pregnancy and said to come back next week.
I just want the ball rolling. I am scared waiting another week is going to make the process more painful. Is it safe to assume if they can't locate it I am really early? Have been told if I experience any symptoms of ectopic to ring ambulance. I have not thankfully.
I am also worried about being alone during the process of abortion. I just want there to be someone who can help keep me together but I have nobody. I am hoping nhs hospital will let me stay in for a day, anyone able to offer insight into this? Nupass got me in a panic saying I need someone with me but I don't want to share this info. I don't have family or anyone that can help me if I do need an adult to be with me or give me a lift home.
I am scared of how much pain I'll go through with this, not really feeling any issues regarding abortion I know I don't want a child.
If anyone has any kind words I'd appreciate it, or any positive stories.
I'm really hoping I can get support from hospital in regards to staying in a day if not how can I get ball rolling without someone with me, will they decline treatment? I hope I get to start treatment next Wednesday but I have no idea on wait times. How do I sort out a lift?
Also I think it will be medical abortion I don't know if I'd get surgical offer. This is my first pregnancy.

Hey I'm here you for you. Please don't worry. Do you know how far along you are? I had an unexpected pregnancy which gave me the shock of my life and I was really sick with hg so knew, like you, I didn't want to go ahead from the start. I had a medical termination (pills) at home at 8 weeks 2 days. It wasn't too bad just the fear of the unexpected. But it was fine.

Thank you, I feel so alone right now :( they couldn't find it on scans last week so I assume about 5 weeks? I'm scared next appointment they find it and I'm further than that. Nurse said it's dangerous to treat something she can't see even tho test is positive.
I feel scared doing this alone. What do I do about a lift if I need one(if they send me home with pills I'm also scared I'll be too anxious without someone there looking out for me). Hopefully feel better on Wednesday and I hope nhs will let me stay in a day as it is a hospital not a clinic.

If it's an eptopic it's just for safety. If they couldn't see it it could mean you're less further than you are. Hopefully they see it on the scan next time you visit. Are you sure of your dates?

Tbh, the medical abortion isn't scary. Do you have children to look after? The first pill is fine. It's just the second set of pills that you need to rest for. Make sure you take painkillers before hand. Have a word with the hospital and let them know about how you feel. Keep reaching out on here too.

I honestly don't know when I conceived. I just remember feeling like period was coming but it didn't so checked and was positive. My last period was mid November. I honestly thought I was further when I went to scan and when nurse checked scan she said it looks like might have conceived at very end of cycle in December. Lining was thick but no sign of baby yet. I'd rather have taken tablets then instead of waiting to see it. The longer I wait the longer I feel more down and isolated. I really want this over with so I can return to my life :(
Thanks so much for the replies I appreciate it.

Hey! Don't be scared, honestly it'll be ok! I've just had a medical one & it's really not like the horror stories you read online. I was very early on and had it at home. Nothing more than strong period cramps and alittle blood, nothing like you see online. I get everyone's different but the majority of things you see online are negative experiences. Would you consider having it at home? You could at least get yourself into bed then without having to worry about lifts etc.

I know you're stressed and I honestly feel for you. I suggest you wait for the scan because you maybe very early. I've had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and we couldn't see anything on the scan but a few days later I passed something. I know it feels like the end of the world but a week at this stage won't make a big difference. My termination was at 8 week 2 days and I was really scared but looking back it was okay. Please don't be scared. Like I said talk to them if they're asking someone to be with you and tell them you've not told anyone about it. Hope you're okay. Keep occupied and count the days down. Or try ringing Nupas and see if u can go in early on Monday for a scan.

I would consider having it at home it's just if there's an emergency I'm worried about. I've read so many bad experiences and the thought of being alone makes me so anxious. I probably would if I had someone with me. I don't know if hormones but I find myself being really emotional at times and crying about all of this. I can honestly say it's the worst feeling stuck in this situation. I am really struggling to eat as much as before I found out, I just feel sick and unwell. I feel lightheaded at times. I'm trying to eat to keep strong as I will need that for abortion. Just gone off foods and nausea is awful :(
yeah a weeks not long just finding it tough feeling pregnant and this feeling of wanting to escape.
Also I'm so confused about dates as well. When I got told originally about pregnancy unknown location and me conceiving later I was relieved I caught early but I'm worrying that they missed it on vaginal scan and next week I'm going to get a horrible shock. It's all the unknown right now.

Thanks for the support, I'm laying here trying to get some sleep.

Hey,

I know how you feel - always here if you need to chat.

Unfortunately, I have had experience of medical and surgical. In my opinion I found surgical a much better experience (if you can call it that) than the medical. When I had my surgical I had Local anaesthetic so I was able to go home after the procedure without someone having to come and get me. I just felt safer having a surgical and the nurses were honestly so lovely. I even messaged BPAS after to thank them for how supportive they had been through the whole process. I also asked for the surgical option by the way.

Everyone is different but I’m an anxious person and I found the medical option quite stressful as I didn’t know if I was bleeding too much etc. with medical you also bleed more after whereas after my surgical I only bled lightly for around 2 days.

I’m always here if you need someone to message or support you during this time x

Hey thanks for the response. I would appreciate having someone to msg I feel so anxious waiting.
In terms of medical, did pain meds prevent it hitting hard or was there still break through pain?
How long did you wait for surgical and how many weeks?

Hey, As I say feel free to PM me at at anytime.

When I had my experience of medical I didn’t find much helped until I passed the pregnancy - I was in pain for a good 2 hours and I was sick unfortunately, had the shakes and kept going hot and cold but I think it depends how far along you are - I was about 8 weeks… once the pregnancy had passed though the pain instantly went and I had a bit on and off cramping like a period and bled for about 2 weeks.

In terms of my surgical I found out at 4 weeks - I had my scan at 5 weeks and then I had the surgical procedure around 6 weeks so I was fairly early on so around 2 weeks in total.

x

I'm sorry I'm not feeling so good so I'll write a quick message. I took two ibuprofen at roughly the same time as the second set of pills to block out any pain and then after 4 hours saw how I was and took as needed. It blocked the initial pain and once it passed I needed food for energy so ate a big bowl of noodles. I had a medical abortion at 8 weeks btw.