Unplanned pregnancy unsure of what to do !

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so I have a 19 month old and I have just found out I am 3 weeks pregnant. I feel so foolish for letting this happen when I know this is not what I wanted. I know I’m very early on so I know I have options but I just feel like such a bad person if I get an abortion. I’m only 20 years old and I feel like my life is just getting a bit easier and getting some freedom back I just don’t want another baby right now. I feel like I only don’t want this baby for selfish reasons as I know I could have another child as I am financially stable and I have a house so why can’t I ? With my first child I suffered quite badly with PND and I feel I have only in the last few months gotten myself back to normal. I am so scared of it happening again to me and then not only having to look after 1 child but 2. I’m so stuck on what to do I know I don’t want another child yet but will I feel horrendous and regret it after I’ve done it ?

So long as you remember the reasons you've done it (pnd etc) you'll be okay. It's normal to grieve and blame yourself at first and forget how you felt during your pregnancy. Write how you feel down somewhere like a notebook so if you do have a termination and feel guilt or regret you can remember. You're right you're very early. Maybe ring the clinics and discuss your options? I had my abortion at 8 weeks 2 days because I was poorly with hg...thought I was going to die. I'm pregnant again a couple of months later...thought I couldn't do it...struggled with mental health etc...but was prepared. I did have low days where I thought about abortion but once they passed I know I want it. I always think women know what's right for them at that moment in time. Follow your heart and weigh up the pros and cons.

Thankyou very much for your reply. I think you are right women always know what you need to do deep down in that time. I went ahead with the abortion yesterday I’m so lucky & greatful I went so soon as I was only 4 weeks. I took the first pill yesterday and today I am inserting the tablets at home. What was your experience like please? Although I feel really upset and I keep thinking what if. I mostly feel relieved !

Can I just ask which clinic you contacted and how soon did you get the pills?

When you insert the pills today make sure you take some pain relief before. I took two ibuprofen as co codamol is abit heavy for me. I laid in bed and around a few hours later felt the need to go to the toilet and heard two plops. Since the water was full of blood I didn't see anything but I know what had passed. I did it when my kids fell asleep so I didn't have to run around them. Honestly after going to the toilet I felt something had lifted from me and felt so hungry since weeks. I could actually eat! I remember binge watching the outlaws season 2 as a distraction.

Everyone's different but you'll probably bleed a few days constantly maybe even more than a week and then have spotting. It's normal to have no bleed days and then bleed again but with Nupas I was told to do test 4 weeks later to see it it was negative because before that it's normal to have pregnancy hiormone in your body and the test to show positive. Good luck , look after yourself, let yourself feel whatever you feel, it's Normal too and part of the process. You've been very brave to make such a tough decision xx

hey so i went private with BPAS and I got the appointment 1 week after I had called as the NHS couldn’t fit me in for 2 weeks and I didn’t want to leave it later. I took the pills at 10am and I went for a wee 2 hours later and the bleeding had started and there was a blood cot the since of a 2 pence so I think that was it and it had passed. I have been very lucky and I have had no pain at all just a pressure feeling and light bleeding. I too was the exact same ! I felt starving so I ate and I feel fine now. I did feel quite emotional went I started bleeding but I know this is completely normal and I know why I have done this so I feel relieved it’s being done sooner rather than later. How long were you bleeding for in total please? Thankyou so much for the support it honestly means so much for me. How are you getting on with your pregnancy? Was this one planned or unplanned ? Xx

Sorry I forgot to mention I got the pills the same day I had the appointment! I was in there for about an hour and it cost £370 I had an internal scan as I was only 4 weeks 6 days. Xx

I think because you were 4 weeks it will be fairly like a period for you.

With my unplanned one I found out at 7 weeks and was terrified at having at 8 weeks.

This pregnancy is planned (found out at 3 weeks like you) but I wanted to give up every week due to the hg and the toll it's taking on my body. I've accepted it now that I'm feeling a bit better but it's still a struggle. I bled for 7 days then spotted 5. Then a week later bled for 3 days. Got my period 2 weeks later. I don't think you'll bleed as much as me as you were early. Hope you're okay and rest well. If you ever feel down look at what you wrote on here to remind you why it had to be done. It's normal to feel grief. Once the period goes you'll be okay xx

Thanks for mentioning the price...MSi is expensive around £601for a medical abortion. Did you have to pay 110 for the initial consultation and then 370 for the medical?

Also are you planning to use birth control now? We've been okay with condoms but since we're not planning anymore children I'm just thinking I may get the coil put in.

I’m so sorry to hear you are having problems in your pregnancy. Just think It won’t be forever and you will start to feel more like yourself and enjoy it when it becomes more real when you see your little baby on screen every few months! It will all be worth it I promise you and you know deep down yourself it will and all the problems will go when you see that little face. Regarding the abortion price I went in thinking it was going to be £480. I’m not sure if the women on reception messed up by not charging me £110 for the consultation and then £370 for the treatment or I think maybe because i had it all done the same day and I didn’t leave & come back it was £370! I’m really not sure I didn’t say anything as I wanted to take the cheaper option haha maybe I was just lucky ! And yes I am going to get the coil with no hormones fitted as soon as I stop bleeding. I really don’t get along with contraception that contains hormones that’s why we were using the withdrawal method but I don’t want to risk it after what’s happened this time! Xx

Hey everyone. I’m looking for some advice, or someone I can relate to. I’m in such a pickle.

I cheated on my partner in January, confessed and I regret it terribly (please avoid the nasty comments as I’ve been punishing myself ever since anyway) we’ve been trying to work it out, until I fell pregnant.

He has since lost it, it seems the baby need tipped him over the edge. I’ve been staying at my mums for the past 2 weeks to give him space. He is in the angry stage at the moment and has said he doesn’t want the baby and feels nothing towards it.

ill be honest I almost feel pretty numb towards the baby aswell. I think because I have terrified of being a single mum, which at the moment is the way it seems to be going.

I am 8 weeks. I feel in limbo land, my world has stopped. We have a house together and I feel like it’s not mine anymore.

has anyone got any advice, or could offer some comfort. I feel angry he has abandoned me whilst pregnant, this is our first. And he has left me to just get on with it. But at the same time I understand he has other stuff going on at the moment.

just need some people to talk to really. Thank you x

Hi all
looking for some advice. Me and my partner are currently separating and in 14 weeks pregnant. We only bought the house together 9 months ago. I got the house valued last week and it has reduced in price so we will lose money, plus we have to find 9k to get out of our fixed term mortgage. So selling isn’t looking ideal for us.
He is looking into buying me out which I don’t think will be possible on his wage to take on this house alone.
I also would like to move back to my hometown and have no desire to remain in the house as I have nobody here. So I’m not in a position to fight for the house and we both know i will be the one that’s going.

are there any other options anyone else has experienced?