Abortion

[mumtoonesonx]

Hello,

I’m really stuck/struggling and need advice. I have a 17 month old son and I’m currently pregnant again (13 weeks + 1). This wasn’t a planned pregnancy and I did have an abortion scheduled for when I was 8 weeks but my partner talked me out of it as we always wanted two children. The problem is my mental health is at rock bottom and it was before this pregnancy. I had my dating scan on Friday and felt nothing. I didn’t feel happy, excited or relieved to know everything looked ok. I simply just felt empty and sad, which is the opposite of what I felt when I was pregnant with my son. I told people so early on in his pregnancy too but I haven’t told anyone this time.

I’ve had a surgical abortion before at 8 weeks and I didn’t regret it, nor was I in any pain etc. This time I’m already so much further along when I’m considering it. Given both BPAS and NHS wait time I’d probably be looking at being over 15 weeks by the time I could get a termination. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like I want this baby and I don’t feel like it’s doing anything for my mental health. Equally though I’m scared and feel an extreme level of guilt - probably because I have actually seen the baby on ultrasound.

There’s not even a question to answer to this thread. I just don’t have anyone I could tell this to and desperately needed to get it off my chest. Hopefully I can make a decision today. 😔

Hi we're very similar. But with your choice follow your heart. I'm currently on week 13 of a third pregnancy (actually 5th with 2 losses). I feel exactly the same. I had an abortion prior to this at 8 weeks like you. Felt guilt and got pregnant again. I'm struggling and have struggled with the pregnancy aspect both mental and physical. If I could go back in time I wouldn't get pregnant again or would have had the abortion earlier on instead of discussing it with my partner. No way does he understand anything about pregnancy and the stress it puts on your body. I'm taking each day as it comes. I'm struggling with my mental health and have panic thoughts. I have good and bad days. I don't want to talk too much about myself and my choices for fear of putting pressure on you in anyway. But please follow your heart and be content with your choice. You're doing what's best for you and baby. There are women on here that have had a termination at this stage and I hope they reach out to you.

Thank you so much for replying. I’m sorry that you are in this position but admittedly it’s nice to feel like I’m not the only one. My relationship is pretty toxic and I don’t think it’s the right environment to be bringing a baby into. I called BPAS today and they booked me the initial telephone appointment with a nurse for this Wednesday. I don’t know what the right decision is though. I can’t put into words how guilty I feel whereas in my previous abortions (I’ve had two), I didn’t feel anything at all.

Have you made a decision? Please take care of yourself xx

I have good and bad days but know if I wanted an abortion I would have contacted them straight away like last time. I hope you're okay and have some piece of mind x

I’ve decided to not go ahead too. It was maybe too much of a hasty decision to call BPAS yesterday. It was tearing me apart knowing I’ve seen that baby on a scan and I’m here planning to abort it. I’m sure the excitement will arrive at some point.

Thank you for the kind words, and thanks for taking the time to comment your own experience too. Please message me if you need to chat x

@mumtoonesonx thanks I've messaged you. How are you feeling?