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Pregnancy choices

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Abortion

28 replies

sarahb19 · 28/12/2022 11:03

Just wanted some advice got my pre assessment tomorrow for my termination of pregnancy very nervous and not sure which option to take surgical or medication I think I'm about 6/7 weeks. Any advice/stories would be much appreciated my anxiety is getting The better of me

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Confusedandlost1812 · 28/12/2022 13:21

Hi! I had my medical termination last week. On the Thursday & Friday. I was 7 weeks

I took the first pill on the Thursday and other than cramping I was fine, on Friday I took the second set of pills and began bleeding within 35 mins (I went to the toilet as I felt like I really needed to - and saw blood coming out then) the pain was sore but I didn’t need the codine that was given. I just took paracetamol and ibuprofen. I found sitting on the toilet was the best thing for me, i passed the pregnancy within a few hours and started feeling better after that. I could eat again!

I woke up the next morning to no morning sickness, much more energy and generally feeling myself again. I’m glad I did it and don’t regret my choice. I’m still bleeding now but lightly, like a period. No cramping anymore (since about 2 days ago)

i did the whole process at home

your nurse will discuss what options will be best for you. I went medical as I wanted to be at home and I’m also needle phobic

sarahb19 · 28/12/2022 13:26

@Confusedandlost1812 thank you for your reply I'm very nervous to pass it at home doesn't help where I already have two very young children so I think surgical might be best option for me but I'm also scared as don't like surgery thanks for your comment I'll talk to my nurse tomorrow and see what she says thank you.

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darmar · 28/12/2022 20:42

Hi @sarahb19 I had a surgical abortion a week ago today. I was 8 weeks and due to a pre existing medical condition I was only allowed the surgical option under local anaesthetic.
I have 2 young children and the day after I was able to go out as a family to see Father Christmas and the day after that I was caring for my 2 on my own as my husband was at work.
The procedure was not painful for me, I was offered gas and air but didn't take it. There was just a slight pulling sensation during it but it only lasted minutes. It reminded of when I was delivering the placenta of my first child and the midwife helped me along a bit. I chatted to the nurses during it which helped me, I was worried about the noise but it was very quiet. Everyone was really lovely and I have so much respect to the medical team that looked after me.
I was also offered paracetamol after but my pain was only around 2/10. I would however in hindsight taken it as when I got picked up around 1/2 hours later I was very uncomfortable and in a bit of pain. Still only really bad period pain, but was fine once I took some pain relief when home.
I had cramping for around a day but no more than a normal period and I only bled for a day and then slight spotting since.
Hope this helps a little.

sarahb19 · 28/12/2022 20:46

@darmar thank you so much for sharing your experience, I am very nervous my anxiety started after my my youngest was born so thinking the surgical I have my pre assessment tomorrow and was wondering how long after that do they book u in for surgery thank you

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darmar · 28/12/2022 21:03

I had my initial phonecall on the 8th and then had a face to face appointment on the 15th. Due to my pre existing medical condition they wanted to speak with my consultant before making a decision. This delayed me going in.
If I hadn't had my condition I would have been booked in on the 16th but they were worried about complications so booked me in for the 21st when they had a quieter day.

sarahb19 · 28/12/2022 21:05

@darmar ok thank you for this I'll see how it all goes tomorrow

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darmar · 28/12/2022 21:10

Good luck. The idea of surgical freaked me out but when that was my only option i did a lot of reading and realised it was the best thing for me. I think if I had been allowed a medical it would have had a massive negative impact on my mental health.
I was scanned all the way through my surgical procedure. They could see my uterus was clear after and all I saw was blood on a pad after. Also as I was in the hospital I have no memories of it in my own home. That has helped me heal mentally too.

sarahb19 · 28/12/2022 21:38

@darmar yeah I think the surgical would be my better option as my mental health and anxiety just worried about being put asleep and thank you hopefully all goes as good as it can thank you for sharing your experience with me

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Jsh125 · 30/12/2022 22:51

How did your appointment go @sarahb19?
I've had both a medical & surgical abortion so I'm really happy to share my story if it helps you. Hope you're doing ok 😊

sarahb19 · 31/12/2022 08:38

@Jsh125 hello thank you I went there and they sent me home with leaflets to try and read up about the abortion I want as I'm only 6 weeks and 3 days if you could share your story for both that would be really helpful, I haemorrhaged with my youngest so I'm scared of that and I suffer with really bad anxiety

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Jsh125 · 31/12/2022 18:24

Hey, of course, really happy to share & hopefully it'll help you in some way. Glad you've had an initial appointment to get things moving & hope there's not too much waiting for you, no matter how confident you are of your decision it's a tough time so I really feel for you. I was in a similar situation with 2 young children & had 2 abortions 8 months apart (I still struggle to believe this even happened not once but twice)

The first was a medical abortion for a pregnancy which was just over 6 weeks at the time of taking the pills. The first pill, mifepristone, was fine, total non event & just waited for the 24 hours to be up before taking the next lot to actually start the bleeding. The second lot I took orally which in hindsight wasn't the best option for me as they made me feel really sick, I took myself off to bed for a couple of hours & woke up much better. I timed it for when my husband was around so I knew I didn't have to deal with the kids if I couldn't.

Bleeding started perhaps 3-4 hours after taking the second lot of tablets, I had the most minimal cramping & it was very short lived, totally manageable & didn't need pain relief or anything. The bleeding increased to a heavy period, some clots but by no means big. I didn't see the pregnancy pass but by the next morning the bleeding had tailed off & remained what I'd call a normal amount for my usual period for a few days, then tailed off again to nothing over the next few days. All done & dusted within a week. Aside from the couple of hours sickness with the second set of pills it was totally manageable, I could go about my daily life, look after the kids etc.. the pregnancy test they send you was negative at 3 weeks & period returned as usual pretty much exactly 4 weeks after I took the tablets.

The surgical one (which i chose because I felt that in slightly different circumstances with the next pregnancy the surgical option was better). I was with BPAS who were fab & although the default option is pills were totally happy to accommodate my preference of surgical. At the time of the consultation I was about 5 1/2 weeks, had a scan to check pregnancy location & then had a 2 week wait for my actual surgery - I'm not sure if it's the case in all areas but they only do surgery one day every 2 weeks in the local unit to me & i'd just missed the last one, I didn't expect quite such a long wait. The waiting was awful as by that point morning sickness had kicked in with a vengeance & I felt terrible, constant nausea & sick multiple times per day that I seriously questioned why on earth i'd opted for surgery. Eventually after nearly 2 weeks of suffering it was the day for surgery when I was almost 8 weeks. There was a lot of waiting around (totally get it can't be helped) so I arrived at about 1pm I think & saw a midwife who did some checks & consent. Gave me a misoprostol pill to keep in my gums for an hour to soften cervix & sent me back to the waiting room. I think I was last on the list as went through to get ready about 3:45pm, got changed & waited for them to be ready. Procedure took about 15 mins max from walking in. I went for local anaesthetic as it meant I could drive myself home & didn't need to get my husband involved. It was painful injecting it & had some very intense cramps for the first minute or 2 of the procedure. There was someone there to basically look after me & they were lovely, distracting me & making sure I was alright. I was scanned throughout the procedure to ensure it was all removed which meant my entire bottom half was totally exposed to everyone, not the end of the world but usually with a smear or with a vaginal scan you get a little bit of paper to cover you, feels like there's a bit more dignity!
After the procedure I sat in the recovery room for about 20 mins, had a cuppa & they checked bleeding. I felt a bit lightheaded afterwards & VERY emotional (I cried a lot!) but they looked after me well. Then I was discharged, given antibiotics & told what to look out for in terms of infection etc.. I was there for about 4 1/2 hours in total I think.

Bleeding wise it was very minimal, less than a normal period but needed a pad for a couple of days. I woke up the next day feeling amazing, no longer nauseous & I could finally eat & drink normally.

However the bleeding just didn't tail off, it just kept being there when I wiped & had occasional bleeds - nothing massive but always something. The aftercare booklet tells you to expect bleeding for up to 2 weeks so I ignored it initially, expecting it to settle. After nearly 3 weeks I called the aftercare line who said it was probably normal, that the surgeon was confident everything had been removed as it was done surgically with ultrasound but they sent me for a scan just to check. I then took a pregnancy test just to see & it was a blazing positive. When I went for the scan it Turned out I had retained products (left over pregnancy tissue but no ongoing pregnancy) so was given more misoprostol to try & get my body to expel it itself & had to go back just over a week later (their next surgery day) to have another scan & if the tablets hadn't shifted it they would do the surgical procedure again that same day. The tablets increased the bleeding & I passed a large black lump of something but scan showed it was still there so I ended up having a second surgical 4 weeks after the first. From finding out I was pregnant to things starting to get back to normal was just under 10 weeks.

So for me the surgical was good in the sense that bleeding was minimal bit aside from that everything about the pills was better for me personally. It was quicker, easier, done in the privacy of my own home & should I ever find myself in that position again (which I never intend to) i'd pick medical every time. It gave me closure much quicker & I was back to normal much sooner.

I realise I was unlucky needing the surgical repeating but even without that it was still long & drawn out, both in terms of waiting but also on the day. I also found it much more emotional as there was an exact moment where I knew the pregnancy was no longer, with the medical it just felt like a normal period.

I'm sorry that's so insanely long but hope it helps you in some way. We're all different & each pregnancy is different so you might have a totally different experience to me but I definitely found it helped to hear other people & what happened to them.

Sending you a big hug 😊

sarahb19 · 01/01/2023 08:24

@Jsh125 thank you for sharing your story I'm definitely stuck between the two for what would be better for my health as I'm also very worried about haemorrhage as it happened not even 2 years ago with my youngest, and my anxiety is also very bad

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Jsh125 · 01/01/2023 09:26

You're welcome, sorry it was so long!! But hopefully have you an idea of both options.

Have you spoken to someone about what your risk of haemorrhaging is? A full term baby is a much different situation to a very early pregnancy so risks might be very different. From what you've said it sounds like that's your main concern. I'm not sure if haemorrhaging is just as likely with surgical as well or not, perhaps you can get some advice from whoever you've seen?

One other thing I didn't mention about surgical was that you have to wait with other people, both in the waiting room which is quite busy & in the actual treatment area. You obviously go in for the procedure by yourself but when getting ready there were other women who'd just had the procedure recovering so you're sat with a couple of other people & same when I came out - I absolutely get that's just how it is but it felt really awkward sat in such a small room together, can't really make small talk & felt strange crying my eyes out in front of another woman who's just been through the same thing. It felt like a conveyor belt of people! I guess if you were to have a general anaesthetic it might be different but that wasn't an option at the place I went, only light sedation.

I hope that you're able to make the decision that is right for you & here if you have any questions or just want someone to offload onto

sarahb19 · 01/01/2023 09:32

@Jsh125 thank you and yes haemorrhage is my main concern the nurse I spoke to said it's the same with every pregnancy the chances of haemorrhaging, and yeah they said I'd be put to sleep for about 10 mins I would rather be awake but Don't think that's an option as I'm going through MSI

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Jsh125 · 01/01/2023 09:51

Glad you've spoken to someone about it but sorry that it's not really helped with a decision.

Do you have another appointment booked? When do you need to try & make a decision by?

I guess the longer time goes on the more risks with both options so hopefully they can get you booked in for either as soon as possible.

Such a tricky choice but just got to weigh up the options & go with which you think has less negatives. Hopefully it'll soon be behind you & you can move forwards

sarahb19 · 01/01/2023 09:53

@Jsh125 no I don't have another appointment but they said I need to let them know before 9 weeks what my option is so far i am 6 weeks and 3 days, I think it's just being put asleep that also scars me cos my anxiety gets the better of me

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Jsh125 · 01/01/2023 10:09

Ah I see, so you have a little bit of time to decide. Are you feeling ok or are you starting to suffer with any pregnancy symptoms?

Is the general anaesthetic the only surgical option? There's a light sedation choice in some places where you're not fully asleep but can't feel anything. I guess they'd have told you if that was available. If it helps I just had local anaesthetic so was fully awake & it was ok, or obviously with medical there's no anaesthetic required at all.

It's great to have these services freely available & that there's a choice of procedure but also means some tricky decisions.

Do you know how long the wait for surgical would be & how quickly they can send you the tablets?

sarahb19 · 01/01/2023 10:14

@Jsh125 the only symptom at the minute is sickness not very nice and no I don't know any of that I think I can collect the tablets if I wish as for surgery they just said when the surgeon was available. And yeah I have some time just would rather it be sooner than later

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Jsh125 · 01/01/2023 10:28

The sickness is horrible isn't it, especially when you know you're not continuing with the pregnancy.

Totally get what you mean about wanting it sooner rather than later, maybe knowing when they could fit you in for surgery might help your choice. If it's a couple of weeks you might feel differently than if it's a few days. At least you know the pills are available almost immediately regardless.

Hope you can come to a decision soon, the waiting is horrible.

sarahb19 · 01/01/2023 10:36

@Jsh125 yeah it's not nice I hate it luckily I ain't been physically sick yet only feeling nauseous, and yeah I need to find out would definitely help me just makes me nervous the whole process but I know it's for the best, talking to you has helped me a lot thank you, would be lovely to keep chatting to you thorough my process if you wouldn't mind

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Jsh125 · 01/01/2023 11:19

You're so welcome & of course, really happy to continue chatting. Not sure about your situation but it was only my husband that knew & although he was fab he couldn't really appreciate what I was going through, it can feel really lonely & it's nice to talk to others who get it.

It was a really emotional time but I feel much better now a couple of months down the line so hope you find the same too once it's done.

sarahb19 · 01/01/2023 11:57

@Jsh125 thank you I hope so to and yeah I've got my partner but they don't understand they can only be there to support it's nice talking to someone that can help me through such a difficult time, r u happy to chat over here still or do u have any socials or anything

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Jsh125 · 01/01/2023 14:15

Definitely, it's good to chat to someone who really gets it. We're all different of course but I could never have pretended to understand what abortion was like until I had one.

Happy to chat however it suits you, on here - there's a private message function as well isn't there, or on socials

sarahb19 · 01/01/2023 14:23

@Jsh125 is there I haven't been able to find that and yeah definitely it's a scary situation to be in

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Jsh125 · 01/01/2023 22:15

I think you have to do it online rather than on the app, I'll try & send you a private message & see what happens!