I am 38 and I’ve been in a relationship for 3.5 years with a good partner. The problem is I’ve always struggled with doubts about the relationship in quite a superficial way (e.g. fixating on minor physical flaws and a sense of “it just doesn’t feel right” even when it’s going well). I have a history of ocd so I’ve always put it down to ‘relationship ocd’ where you obsessively doubt your relationship. Because of this, I’ve never entertained the thought of getting married and my partner isn’t fussed about that either. But we both wanted kids in our future so we decided to start trying because of my age and I am now pregnant. Unfortunately though since finding out I am having a meltdown. I seem to have gone completely off my partner since becoming pregnant and not sure if it’s hormones or my real feelings. I’m really worried that I’m bringing a child into the world into an unstable situation since I am not completely sure about my relationship. I have been struggling so much that I’m considering a termination (I’m just under 10 weeks). I’ve always been scared by the idea of being a single parent. But I’m scared I’m terminating for the wrong reasons and might regret it.
I guess I’m wondering if others have had similar experiences of pregnancy in the context of relationship anxiety / ocd?