Surgical or medical management

[coffeewithmilk]

Hi,

I'm looking for advice, or previous experience from anyone.
I've chosen to undergo a tfmr, I will be around 16 weeks when this is done.

I am not sure whether I want surgical or medical management. I'm afraid I will regret not seeing my baby if I have surgical management, but then I don't know if you are able to see the baby after surgical management.

Does anyone have any experiences with either that they wouldn't mind sharing? The decision in itself has been hard enough to make following through diagnosis and I thought this part would be the easy decision to make but I'm really not sure what to do.

Thank you

Hi @coffeewithmilk
I had a TFMR at 17+3 and had medical management at hospital. I took the first tablet on Friday then back on the Sunday for the induction. For me it seemed the least worst of the two options. I was in hospital for the day and it was fairly straightforward and no complications.
We chose to see our baby and spend time with him. We took photos and the midwife did baby’s hand and footprints which are so precious to have.
It is such an awful position to be in and a tough decision to make so I’m thinking of you x

Hi @HazyDays81 thank you for your reply and I'm sorry for your loss. It's an incredibly tough time.
I have the call with the nurse from BPAS on Monday.
I suppose what I wanted to know, is would any handprints or anything to acknowledge or remember the pregnancy be available to me if I chose surgical termination? Or is it just in out goodbye end of. I think I would find that difficult and regret the decision.
X

I’m really not sure with a surgical termination. I hope the nurse is helpful in answering any questions. For me in the days and weeks after it brought comfort to have the keepsakes to feel close to him. We also now have his ashes. I’m not sure how I would have felt to not have them.

Do you have other children? My labour experience this time was similar to birthing my living children albeit less painful and shorter. I’ve heard some people can need a surgical op after if they retain the placenta.

Do you have good support around you? It is truly a horrendous time x

@HazyDays81 thank you for sharing your experience. I have one baby who is healthy and really the reason I am trying to be strong through all of this. I have lots of support from family.
I will talk through options with the nurse on Monday and hopefully will have a bit more clarity to make the decision that's best. X

@RecycledKettle thank you for your reply. When I say medical termination, I really meant to say 'compassionate induction of labour' I think is the right phrase where you give birth and are able to hold your baby and see them.
I don't think the tablet form can be given over 9/10 weeks. Thank you for your response. X

@RecycledKettle thank you, I appreciate the support. Such a hard distressing time. x

@coffeewithmilk hey! I’m going through the same thing , any updates on how your experience went ? X