Hold my hand :( Medical Abortion

[HelpMeALittleBitLost]

Hey, I'm a newbie to this but I see SO much support and care on other threads that I thought I may aswell give it a try.

I am 7weeks 6days pregnant (unplanned) and I am waiting on my medication for abortion to come. I am TERRIFIED. Of the unknown, the possible pain and bleeding, and on whether it's the right choice!

I cant go through with the pregnancy due to my mental health being the worst it ever has been, also I'm not quite ready to give up the 1 on 1 time I have with my son. My relationships been unstable for a while too.

I'm scared I'll regret the choice, or itll make my mental health completely unbearable.

Anybody who has any advice, it would be SO appreciated!xx

Hi, I'm so sorry you're going through this but glad things like Mumsnet exist so you can reach out for support.

I can only speak for my experience but my medical abortion was really not that bad at all. I was just about 6 weeks so that may make a difference as you're just a little bit further on. However for me it was like a normal period, maybe slightly heavier but certainly not the blood bath I was expecting. I didn't study what came out so didn't see when I'd actually passed the pregnancy. I had zero cramps whatsoever, literally nothing at all - just bleeding so for me it was actually physically uneventful. The misoprostol made me feel REALLY sick though, that was definitely the worst bit of it all but it only lasted a couple of hours. 2-3 days of heavy ish bleeding & that was that. I'd read all the horror stories too but it turned out not to be the case for me. My periods are usually ok as well so don't know if that made a difference.

Obviously mentally it's hard to know how you'll feel, we were pretty certain of our choice right from the start but I found it tough to process what we'd done & definitely grieved too. Fortunately that was manageable too, I knew we'd made the right choice but just needed time to deal with it.

Here if you need a chat 😊

You will feel guilt afterwards and will forget how you feel now which is normal. Write something down so that you remember why you've made the choice you made...it will help when you're feeling down after the termination. Sorry don't mean to scare you. As for the actual procedure don't worry it's like having a heavy period. Rest as much as you can and buy some snacks or something. I had such a big appetite. You'll need to rest when you take the second set of pills. I did mine in the evening when kids were in bed and also had husband just in case I couldn't get up. But I was fine. Also make sure you take pain relief. I took nurofen and not the codamol they give.

@Jsh125
Thankyou for replying! I feel so alone in this, I know I have to make the decision.
When I first had a positive pregnancy test, I didnt feel the happiness and excitement that I did when I was pregnant with my son, even though the circumstances were not great then either. This time I was instantly filled with dread and devastation. I've always been someone who has adored children and always wanted my own, so this feeling I was suddenly having threw me off entirely. I know I wouldnt feel that way, or even think for a second about having an abortion, if I was ready and knew it could handle it.

I'm trying to be brave and accept what it is I will have to do, it's the unknown that's causing so much stress and upset.

I definitely think I'll avoid looking at what I pass, I think itll just make things harder.

I know this is the right thing to do, but its SO damn hard :(

@heartbroken22

Thanks for replying!
I've already made a little list of my reasons, there are a few, to read when I get a clouded mind and struggle.

I'm having quite bad sickness with the pregnancy already so I'm really worried that the medication will make me nauseous.
I've read alot of posts that have advised getting snacks in etc.

What kind of time did you take your second dose? I dont get much help in the night if little one wakes up or cant settle down again.

I have some paramol and ibuprofen, will they work ok?

@HelpMeALittleBitLost you're so welcome, it's such a lonely & emotional time. No matter how certain you are of your decision it's still a huge thing to go through & it's completely fine to allow yourself to go through all the emotions.

You sound like you've made a well considered decision which is all you can do. The waiting is definitely the worst bit, once you've spoken to someone & know what's happening I hope you'll feel better. Not sure who you're booked in with but the people I spoke to (bpas) were so lovely & offered lots of support so I didn't feel so alone.

Writing down why you're doing this is a great idea, I had to remind myself so many times about why we'd made that decision.

Sending you a big hug

@Jsh125
I think I'm with bpas too. I really wanted to avoid having a scan etc, so they offered to send them to me. I had my phone call assessment with the nurse on sunday, and she said she was sending them straight out... with any luck they will come tomorrow. I just want it all over with now.
I also took up the offer of counselling afterwards.

It seems that everyday that is passing, more and more reasons are popping up. Last night my partner (sons dad and current pregnancy) knew I wasn't feeling good, and instead of helping me with my son who was restless as hes been unwell, he just went to sleep and then spent the night complaining we were in his way. Hes making more reasons daily, our relationship not being good was a big part of the decision originally. Before I found out I was pregnant I wasnt far off of leaving and now I'm wondering if thats what I shouldve done. Another issue with that though- I have nothing.

I do have a question, I know you wernt as far as I am, but I SWEAR my body is different and I have a little bump.
I'm not skinny, im a size 14/16 and I have my mum tum from my son, but I do not recognize my body in the mirror!
Is this even possible?? I didnt show with my son till I was 4+ months, and I was a size 8/10 then. I didnt even know I was pregnant till I was 3 months!

How did it go @HelpMeALittleBitLost ? I'm about to have a medical termination and I'm terrified