Help me be rational

[Autumnwater87]

my brain is currently all over the place and I just need to write it down somewhere. I had a termination beginning of June all went ok, I have a few wobbles but I’m pretty ok with my decision. However me and my DP had not DTD again until last week (I know 6 months nearly) I think it just set a weird barrier between us that way, affectionate way still but just didn’t have sex. Anyway I thought enough is enough we can’t carry on like this so we had sex last Friday and used a condom (I checked my app and it put me around 1DPO, so could be ovulating any time around then) my anxiety has gone through the roof and I can’t stop panicking that I’m pregnant again. As far as I know it didn’t split there is nothing to suggest I am apart from I feel sick (which is also one of my anxiety symptoms) I can’t go on like this and not be physical with my DP I was never like this before and the majority of time we used withdrawal and I didn’t really panic. I know I’m being stupid the likelihood of getting pregnant is slim, but my bloody head is in overdrive.

It's okay to feel that. Please take gradual steps. Have you spoken to your partner about how you feel? Is the anxiety in regards to having an unplanned accidental pregnancy? Maybe you should speak to your doctor about it. I had a termination in June too and decided that I want to be pregnant last month and yes I am pregnant but all those feelings came back. It's good you're being careful. There's days when I'm not sure how I feel about being pregnant. It's hard work. I hope you're okay.

Yes I think so, I’m so worried about it being unexpected again and then having to go through all the process again of making a decision etc. I know I want to be pregnant in the future but all the reasons why we didn’t go through with it last time are still not resolved. In terms of my partner I haven’t really mentioned it, I probably should. I just can’t get rid of the constant intrusive thoughts I can’t wait for next week, i‘m just counting down the days till AF is due. There is literally nothing that even indicates I could be apart from the fact we had sex (protected) so the chances are very slim.

I remember seeing your posts at the time, congratulations on your pregnancy I hope it goes well for you and help you heal.

Thank you. Do you know the anxiety you're having I'm having that anxiety but about the future. Like I'll be done with 3 and then what if I have an unexpected one? I don't want to put myself in that position. I've spoke to my husband and he just laughed when I said vasectomy. If he's not going to do something then I will. I guess we're in the same boat but please don't worry. Their are various methods of contraception available. At my termination review the lady said try the progesterone only pill or the patch if you're not okay with the coil. I know one of them along with the use of condoms should be okay. If you ever feel like ohh dear I might have not used protection properly you can always go to a chemist and get the emergency contraceptive pill to prevent pregnancy. It's free. I've used it in the past. Please don't worry. Everything should be okay. I really recommend talking to a doctor if you feel uneasy about birth control.