20 and pregnant- I have an around the world trip booked in January!

[erinevansss]

Hey all,
so for a bit of background I’m 20 years old and I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for around 6 months now (I know early days still). I’ve had a few past relationships some even longer in length of time but none which have felt quite this real and serious. We’ve of course had talks about wanting a family somewhere down the line and he adores children. However I found out I was pregnant today. I came off the implant a little while ago and was having a break before starting the pill as I didn’t get on well with the implant. We were using protection for the most part or being careful if not however in hind sight it wasn’t enough and now here we are. I haven’t spoken to my boyfriend about it as I worry he may have a differing opinion to mine so I’m not sure on the approach. He is nearly a qualified accountant and has a stable job, me on the other hand I’ve been working 2 jobs to save money for travelling and the plan was to go to uni when I returned next September. Me and my friend have been speaking of travelling the world for years and we finally booked it for this January. It’s absolutely a once in a life time trip but I can’t help but feel torn over the situation. I would end up losing the money for our flights but I also have saved a pretty decent amount of money for travelling which would also be very useful if I decided to keep the baby. Even speaking about this makes me very emotional as I would absolutely love to have this baby but I’m really not sure if the timings off. Any advice is more than appreciated, thank you cx

... it's not about your trip, it's about the child's whole life.

The fact that you're focusing on whether or not you'll get to go on a holiday rather than whether or not you're in a good place to raise a child is pretty telling tbh. It doesn't sound like you're at the right point in your life for a baby.

There's no reason you can't do both! After a baby comes, the parents do have to make many sacrifices for the little one, so this could be your last big treat for yourself before becoming a mother. Having a baby can be done on a budget if you are thrifty about it. I did breastfeeding and used cloth nappies (they've come a long way since the kind with pins!) and got a lot of baby supplies second hand from friends. You sound excited about having this child, and your partner is a good man who can help provide for you and his son or daughter. I really hope you can make this work! Hope to hear back from you and how you're doing, dear.

... she's likely to be at least halfway through the pregnancy by the time her trip starts in January, pretty soon she won't be able to fly. The trip was going to be Jan-Sept, she's likely to only be able to do a month or so of that if she keeps the baby, so it will be a complete waste of money.

It's also not about the logistics of the trip, it's about whether or not she can give a baby a decent life, which is something she hasn't even mentioned.

If flight is booked for this January why can't you go? Baby would come in July?

Also if your bf loves kids then wouldn't he be understanding? Speak to him.

It's just the uni bit you have to deal with. Could you delay it for a year and maybe parents help with baby?

I say if you're fit and well and you want a baby at some point in your life then why not now. It will be scary but manageable. Just as someone with experience you never know when you can conceive and when you can't. You never know when you'll have a miscarriage. I had a termination earlier this year because I had hypermesis. It destroyed me but it was the right thing for me as I couldn't manage with life.

Hello,

Sending you love as its always so tough making this decision! I would say go with your heart & gut over your head.

I got unexpectedly pregnant at 23, my partner and I had been together a similar amount of time and planned to go travelling too! Though not as imminently as you. My partner was finishing uni, we had no money. But my gut feeling was to absolutely have the baby. It felt like a yes. She's now 7 and although it wasn't easy at the beginning not being financially set up, she's the best thing that ever happened to me and we have a 4 year old too now. We took our oldest to South America for a month when she was 2 to live out that travelling dream and it was amazing.

However, last year I got pregnant again and even though our life is completely set up for children, I just knew I couldn't do it, I was so at capacity. Even though it was so sad and I agonised over it, deep down I knew it was the right thing for me and our family to have a termination.

Hope you find the right choice for you.