Termination of pregnancy 7 weeks plus

[MarleneH]

Good evening all

I don’t know what to expect from this post, a hand hold maybe. But here goes.

I am currently 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I have a 6 month old and a 4 year old. Our contraception failed. Im a student nurse due to go back to my training next September so I cannot have any more time out. A pregnancy at the moment is just not right.

I contacted Marie stopes at about 5 weeks as soon as I knew this was what I wanted to do (I had quite a wait for the initial appointment, and then the telemedicine appt).

I received the pack this morning and took the mifepristone (the first step) at about lunch time. I have been told to wait 24 hours and take the misoprostol (second step) which will be tomorrow lunch time.

I am dreading it. Has anyone been through a medical termination at around 7-8 weeks?
what should I expect?
how bad is the pain?
how bad is the bleeding?
will I be ok doing it alone?
any advice/ tips?

I have had a really traumatic experience with a missed miscarriage which is scaring me. It was awful.

my partner works nights (police officer) and is unable to get any time off. So I will be doing this alone with a 6 month old and a 4 year old in tow. My mum is a Irish catholic who is strongly against abortion. I’d rather keep this private and I don’t intend on telling anyone.

I have stocked up on pads, painkillers, snacks and drinks etc. I intend to binge watch on Netflix to take my mind of this awful decision I have found myself making. Not an easy decision at all.

Any advice or guidance or even honest experiences would be greatly appreciated.

I will update this post once all completed.

Marlie x

Anyone? X

So I haven’t had any replies unfortunately but hopefully me leaving my experience below this thread might help somebody.

I was 7 weeks and 4 days this morning when the process begun. I inserted x4 misoprostol vaginally at 11.50am, 10 minutes after taking x2 codeine and x1 anti sickness. (they didn’t provide anti sickness, I had some left over from my last pregnancy where I had HG)

1pm comes and nothing. No blood. Pottered about and went for a wee. Wiped and noticed blood. No pain, a few twinges. Period like pain in hips etc. 1.40pm I took ibuprofen. Although I didn’t really need it, I was just super anxious about pain. I had a traumatic miscarriage a few years back. Agonising pain and was worth than labour!

Chilled out on the bed watching Netflix close to our en-suite. 4pm ish went to the toilet and passed a few (what felt like) very very small clots. No major blood loss. Still no pain.

4.30pm I took again 1 x anti sickness and x2 codeine.

From 4.30pm until now (10pm) I’ve been to the toilet 3 or 4 times to freshen up, change pad, have a wee etc. each time I have passed a few small clots. I’ve just been to toilet and passed what felt like a bigger clot. Instant relief.

So far so good. I will update tomorrow incase any body is reading. I do however believe I have passed the pregnancy. Hopefully anyway.

For anyone reading. I have had no major pain, nothing worse than period like pain. The bleeding has been very steady. I probably would’ve been ok without pain relief so far however as mentioned above I wanted to keep on top due to a traumatic experience in the past pain wise.

my tips;
have the house stocked with toilet roll, pads, pain relief, drinks and snacks.
run a tap whilst going to the toilet so you don’t hear the clots drop into the toilet.
hold tissue down below whilst on the toilet, I promise you it makes you feel more in control.
be near a toilet, in my case ive spent the day on my partners side of the bed nearest to the en-suite.

I will touch base again tomorrow. Hoping for a smooth night. My partner is a police officer and working nights. I am home alone with my 6 month old and 4 year old.

I’ve just had a Chinese takeaway and going to have a binge on Netflix and then will try and get some sleep.

Sending big hugs to anyone going through this - I was so anxious this morning I never followed through. So far, so good.

Marlie x

I’m sorry to read you’re going through this, I was 8 weeks when I had one many years ago.

I had very heavy bleeding and period like pains. Which reading your todays posts seems like you are experiencing similar.

How are you feeling mentally? I know that even when you know it’s the best decision for you and your family it is still hard.

Sending you lots of love, rest up xx

Sorry you didn't get replies on times. I hope you're alright. How are you feeling?

Thank you both ❤️

I’ve had a very smooth running so far. I believe I have passed the pregnancy but was no where near as bad as I anticipated.

Having the tap running so I couldn’t hear them and not looking down the toilet has really helped me.

Pain wise, I’ve honestly had the bare minimum. I’ve had worse pain with periods. Bleeding is fairly heavy, but steady. It isn’t as bad as postpartum bleeding after my c section.

Will update again soon. I hope this May help someone in the future.

Marlie x

I’m so glad you aren’t in much pain, hope you are feeling okay today x

Thanks for sharing this x

More than welcome lovely.

it really wasn’t a fraction as bad as what I anticipated. X x

Hi Marlie,

So very late to your post, but I'm honestly so grateful for this. I am having my second abortion tomorrow and honestly, I'm petrified. I had one when I was 19 years old and it was honestly the worst experience of my life and I vowed to never get myself into that position again. Fast forward 8 years and 2 beautiful children later, here I am. I had my second son only 10 months ago and I am getting married next year, so I feel that I can relate to your situation so well.

Thank you for sharing your experience, I too will be doing this alone as I haven't told anyone (apart from hubby to be) I think it's just something better left unsaid 😔

No problem I’m just so glad it’s helped someone. I too was worried, but it was noooo where near as bad as anticipated.

for me personally, I’ve had worse periods.

Take care and PM me if needs be xx

I’m late to your post but the bleeding for me has just started after putting the tablets up my bits im terrified of the clots n too even move sounds so silly

I need help! I have had 4 full term pregnancies, I had my two older babies and their births were not so good for me but both babies were great. We then went on to have our 3rd and I always had this fear I was going to die, just because of the other 2 births and blood loss etc. my baby unexpectedly died just before I was induced, she was stillborn and it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. The only thing keeping me going was my living children but my girl was always missing. We kept trying for another, and had our rainbow baby which helped me get through life a bit better too! The pregnancy was so hard, and I was induced again. And although all successful, between my stillborn girl(want to use her name but want to be anonymous :( ) and the pregnancy, inducement etc it was all just so traumatic for me.
My husband works a lot and I have no help with my 3 children, I love them to bits and love being a mum. But with toddler tantrums and the older two fighting etc. I can feel overwhelmed! I'm 34 and after all of that, I kind of didn't want anymore children. We struggle at times with money, and I'm exhausted, then I will never feel finished because of what happened to my beautiful girl.
I have found out I am pregnant again, and the sickness has started and my emotions are everywhere.
I've never really agreed with abortion personally, and I feel this baby is a gift! We tried and tried for all our babies and this one has just happened.
But I'm struggling already, sickness and mentally. I can barely give my 3 the attention I so want to give them, we have no help, we are already stressed and money is tight. We don't own our own house, I just don't know if I can go through this again. It's never guaranteed either, my girl has taught me that, and so many people want a baby. I am absolutely struggling with what to do and what is right and how wrong it would be. But I am in overheard sometimes as it is.
My husband is very positive and says it's a gift and we'll work through it etc. but I can't help feel it's for me and his breakdown will come :,( :,( :,( :,(
I would probably opted for a C-section but even that itself is scary, and having someone to look after our children and the recovery etc! I need help

Thank you so much for replying to Me. I only have my husband to talk to about this, and the midwife who looked after me with my rainbow.
I have been really struggling already, physically and mentally. And due to everything I have gone through , I feel I just don't have it in me to see this pregnancy through. I don't have it in me to go through the devastating outcome and then , if baby was ok and all fine. We struggle financially and me alone all the kids with the kids I just don't feel it's fair for this baby or my other children. I am devastated to even be contemplating this thought, but I just don't think I can do it this time. I have barely anything left in me and I feel like I need to keep what I have to try and give my children here a better life, they don't need a bashed up mummy( I'm already half way there) they need me and I need to focus on them. And my husband. He has seen me, through all this bad and knows that this is the best decision for us as a family. He seems happier that I have chosen this as he would never ever ask me to. But I'm trying to do right by everyone, my older is 10 and already she's a 'tween Agee' and will start high school etc next year and I just feel she will need mummy at her best, at her tough times. I want to be a great grandparent, not exhausted after all my children that I just can't do it. I am struggling, I am blocking this. I don't want to regret it but I just feel like I can't do it anymore! I can't go through another traumatic pregnancy, traumatic birth and then even then baby will never be guaranteed( I was 40 weeks with my girl and we still never know why it happened)
I will hate myself forever for this, but I don't want my children and my husband to hate me for what I could become if we carry this through.
After my girly too, it makes you realise how precious being pregnant and babies are, they are a gift and this is another reason why I am absolutely hate myself for this.
But we are in a rented 3 bed, my husband works always, I gave up work for the kids, I'm exhausted now with 3 kids, and we have literally no help. There's just so many reasons and realistics, but all very well saying it.
It's the actual going through with the bad thing I am going to struggle. I can't believe I'm having to. It's not me! My husband says it's a very selfless thing I'm doing, because I'm doing all for everyone and everyone's mental health. :,( :,( :,(
But my heart is just crumbling( what's left of it)

I’m sorry you’re going through this difficult decision and I’m so sorry to read you lost your precious girl, I lost mine 4 months ago and know how incredibly painful and unbearable it is.

It sounds as though you are judging yourself for making this decision, but to me it seems like you’re making a decision that is best for your current situation, don’t judge yourself on that. You’re clearly an incredible mum, juggling many hats!

I also had a termination many years ago, because it wasn’t the right time for me. Whilst I sometimes think about the what ifs, I really do not regret the decision.

You’re strong and can get through whatever life throws at you, I know that because you survived the worst thing possible - the loss of your beautiful girl.

Sending you so much love, go easy on yourself and take the time you need X

Thank you so much mummasoph for your very kind words honestly, I don't have many people to talk to and that helped me a little. My beautiful girl was 40 weeks so it's just unbearable to go through that again, no baby is ever guaranteed and this feels so bad. I'm awake most nights because of this guilt and sickness, it hurts too because my stomach is hard and bloated, and I know because of what we have gone through or other peoples desperation for a baby I feel so horrible.
I am struggling with the wait to even just be seen. Can I ask you how your termination was? I am so scared of how bad it's going to be for pain and blood loss :,( :,(
Sometimes you'd think it's never as bad as what you're worrying but then loook what we have suffered, that's the worst.xx

It’s a very lonely decision, I know 😞

I would say I had one day of intense period cramps, and bleeding that lasted around a week. The first few days are heavy and then a lot like a period.

I think it also depends on which route you go down, tablets or surgery. I had tablets and I’ve heard this is probably the more painful choice, however it wasn’t anything near as painful as my miscarriage.

I hope you are doing okay today, always here to talk!

I'm so sorry that you're in this position and for your previous loss. Your post brought me to tears as I was in this agonising nightmare in March. The pregnancy wasn't planned but I'm in a happy marriage and financially stable so it could've continued. But we have four other children, i dont have help and I feel stretched. After much heartache, I opted for a medical abortion because I didn't think I had it in me to go through another pregnancy, newborn phase and be the mum that my other children need right now. I also worried about the effect on my MH and my marriage. The actual termination wasn't as awful as I expected. It makes me sad to think of it now (and i keep googling pregnancy calendars to think where I'd be) but I think it was the right decision to protect my family, I didn't want to roll the dice again. Feel free to PM me and I'm happy to share my experience. Thinking of you, its so hard.

Thank you both for replying to me, I really appreciate your kind words and thoughts. I am now at a week to go, I think I'm about 6 and a bit weeks. I'm absolutely struggling with sickness, it's all just going over and over in my head. I'm seeing pregnant ladies and babies and although I've always found this hard since my baby girl, I just look and think I can't go there again, I don't have it in me ! I'm already feeling so drained and exhausted this early, and as I keep saying everything I went through with my angel and my rainbow I just don't think mentally and physically I can go there again.
I'm absolutely dreading next week, I'm not sure if they will let me do it all at home because of my previous bleeding issues and placenta. I just don't know, it's all guess work and I guess that's what's making the anticipation worse.
How far on were you both? I feel like leaving it this long is worse but I've no choice. Maybe they do it so your left to think and make sure it's the right choice. I worry about the regret and having to live with what I have done, I'm disgusted with myself. But I was starting to get myself to a normal level after my girl and everything I've gone through, and my kiddies need me! My husband says I'm finding it so hard because I would never do anything like this normally and also I never do anything for myself, and for once I'm choosing something that is right for me and all my family. But why does it feel so wrong, everyone would love this baby and look after it. But then it's everything else that comes with it, if only it were that simple. If money was ok and we have parents of family that helped us I probably would try, but then I just don't think my head and heart can go through the agonising wait in the pregnancy and the worrying and the constant checks to make sure babies ok and then hearing those awful words again.
How did it happen for you both, was it a telephone consultation and then collect the medication and do at home?
Thank you for taking the time to messsage me back, I'm so grateful there a nice people out there :,( hiding this and having no one is hard xx

I'm going to PM you x