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Pregnancy choices

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Pregnancy after termination

15 replies

Daniel755 · 20/09/2022 12:54

Hello

anyone want to get pregnant again .. after having a termination at an older age like age 47.. what did you do?

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stripyspider · 20/09/2022 19:53

Sounds like a very difficult situation OP. Would you mind me asking how old you are now and how old you were when the termination happened ? Do you have any existing children ? xx

Daniel755 · 21/09/2022 13:25

Hi stripyspider

I was 46 when termination happened turning 47 at the end of the month.. have 2 children 12 and 10.. wasn’t planning anymore.. would of liked another one years ago but partner didn’t .. worried about everything my age kids age gap.. partner 51.. xx

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stripyspider · 21/09/2022 14:37

Firstly, I'm sorry you've had what sounds like a very traumatic experience.

An unplanned pregnancy can be so very stressful, make us panic, and push us into decisions e.g. termination we later regret.

It is very hard when you are in the thick of it to take a measured decision and think logically; because when considering termination there is a cruel time pressure where we have to make a horrible , life-changing decision as quickly as possible.

If this whole experience has made you realise that actually, you would like to try for a third, I would genuinely wish you the best of luck TTC.

R.e your age, obviously it is harder, ( but clearly not impossible !) to conceive in your late 40's.

But you would certainly not be harming anyone if you gave it a go, and if you were to have a baby at 47 ; the child would have grown and graduated university before you turned 70, so highly, highly unlikely that you wouldn't see them well into adulthood.

My friend's mum was 47 when she had her her, ( only child, IVF conception), and now at 30 they are and always have been incredibly close, and enjoy holidaying together a couple of times a year. They have a close relationship and my friend has never felt disadvantaged by having an older mum. '

Also, social services regularly allow people in their late 40's to adopt all the time in the U.K, ( I know of couples in their late 40's who have been approved to adopt young children). Adoption requires careful SS assessment, so clearly they are confident that parents in their late 40's are able to see children into adulthood, or they wouldn't be approving people in their late 40's to adopt.

I would also not worry at all about the age gap between children. Society seems to tell us that the ideal age gap is two years between siblings, ideally conceived at some point in a narrow window when the mother is between 30-35. Real life is not like that, and many people have a great bond into adulthood with much younger siblings. My boyfriend's older brother's are 41 and 43, ( he is 28 and was very much a surprise). He is very close with his brother's and enjoys seeing them, and because they have always been at different ages there has never been any sibling rivalry.

If you can cope with the biological reality of TTC whilst acknowledging that at this age you may not be able to conceive again, I see absolutely no reason why you shouldn't give it a good go and I would genuinely wish you success if you went down this route.

My own experiences are only that anybody I know who has had older parents and/ or large sibling age gaps all seem very happy and well adjusted.

Daniel755 · 21/09/2022 15:48

Thank you so much for your very kind reply and words.. it means a lot to have someone to speak to as partner hates me bringing it up., it was a decision made in a very panicked / stressful timescale and partner worried as I did everything would go wrong.ie from our age. where now when all the panic is over all I can see is the decision we made was what made it all go wrong
i can see how lovely it could of all been now.. which is truly heartbreaking.. and a decision totally out of character for me .. one I never even imagined I’d go through.. focused too much on the negatives risks etc
i now see that it would of been so worth the risks .. and that most things in life are only achieved by taking a chance./risk
it certainly has been a life changing experience for me and has proved what really matters!!

thank you xx

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Poppyflower79 · 15/02/2023 07:33

Hey, there
I was in your place years ago, i deeply feel your situation.
For me trying again is comforting for my soul, but the chances are close to zero based on my medical review.
On the other hand, every month without succes makes me cry.
If i could do, i would like to let it go, and get myself again for my family.
I dont know what to tell, all your words are like i would tell it.
Please talk anytime if you feel it can help.
♡♡◇

Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 12:03

Hi poppyflower
thank you so much for your reply .. have just come accross your msg today.. how are you now? Life can throw a lot of stuff at us when you least expect it sometimes... and we can make decisions we never imagined in the heat of the moment.. i truly feel for you .. would be great to have a chat xx

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Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 12:03

Hi poppyflower
thank you so much for your reply .. have just come accross this today.. how are you now?

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Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 12:15

Hi poppyflower
thank you so much for your reply .. have just come accross this today.. how are you now?

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Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 12:20

Hi poppyflower
thank you so much for your reply .. have just come accross this today.. how are you now?

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Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 12:20

Hi poppyflower
thank you so much for your reply .. have just come accross this today.. how are you now?

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Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 12:20

Hi poppyflower
thank you so much for your reply .. have just come accross this today.. how are you now?

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Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 12:24

Hi poppyflower
thank you so much for your reply .. have just come accross this today.. how are you now?

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Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 20:49

Hi poppyflower
just came accross your msg today.. how are you now?.. would love to have a chat with .. really find it helps .. are you around same age or younger?

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Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 20:51

Hi poppyflower
just came accross your msg today.. how are you now?.. would love to have a chat with .. really find it helps .. are you around same age or younger? @Poppyflower79

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Daniel755 · 03/05/2023 20:53

Hi poppyflower
just came accross your msg today.. how are you now?.. would love to have a chat with .. really find it helps .. are you around same age or younger?
@Poppyflower79

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