I have just seen the faint line I knew was coming, and my emotions are over the place.
I'm on the mini pill. I did not plan this.
I have two kids. 8 and 4. One with considerable SEN (attends special school, receives DLA, has disability social worker). 4yo isn't disabled, starting school this Sept.
My pregnancies with both were very hard. I had HG right up until delivery. Both times I became anaemic. Births were both c sections, first emergency and second planned, they were fine and I recovered ok from both.
But since my second I've had so many health issues, physical and mental. I've had gallbladder surgery, autoimmune diagnosis. My mental health took a huge dive as a result of these things but I'm getting myself together now.
My husband is a recovering alcoholic. He's nearly two years sober. Our relationship had struggled but we are on track again now. He does not want any more kids. Very very firm and clear about this. Worries about me, because of my caring responsibilities and health issues. Will 100% want to abort and probably assume I do too.
But I don't. I know the risks. I know how rough it'll get. But my initial reaction, and it's v initial because I found out minutes ago, is I want it.
How can I kick my brain into gear, because on paper this looks like a no brainer. My heart needs to have a word with my head.
Obviously I will tell DH asap. I'm just venting here first.