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Pregnancy choices

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Surprise at 41

7 replies

millymollymindy · 16/08/2022 15:50

I have just seen the faint line I knew was coming, and my emotions are over the place.

I'm on the mini pill. I did not plan this.

I have two kids. 8 and 4. One with considerable SEN (attends special school, receives DLA, has disability social worker). 4yo isn't disabled, starting school this Sept.

My pregnancies with both were very hard. I had HG right up until delivery. Both times I became anaemic. Births were both c sections, first emergency and second planned, they were fine and I recovered ok from both.

But since my second I've had so many health issues, physical and mental. I've had gallbladder surgery, autoimmune diagnosis. My mental health took a huge dive as a result of these things but I'm getting myself together now.

My husband is a recovering alcoholic. He's nearly two years sober. Our relationship had struggled but we are on track again now. He does not want any more kids. Very very firm and clear about this. Worries about me, because of my caring responsibilities and health issues. Will 100% want to abort and probably assume I do too.

But I don't. I know the risks. I know how rough it'll get. But my initial reaction, and it's v initial because I found out minutes ago, is I want it.

How can I kick my brain into gear, because on paper this looks like a no brainer. My heart needs to have a word with my head.

Obviously I will tell DH asap. I'm just venting here first.

OP posts:
Becca95 · 16/08/2022 16:17

If you don't then don't, you have to do what feels right for ...you ❤️

Becca95 · 16/08/2022 16:18

And as for risks; I think it's difficult to make plans for something that hasn't happened or may not happen.

Waredrobe · 17/08/2022 14:35

As a fellow HG parent it’s hard and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Maybe call bpas and get the ball rolling while you decide?

The worst with HG is deciding you can’t do this and then having to wait another 2 weeks for appointments with bpas esp when you feel like your dying. Then your completely in control and can follow through or not.

millymollymindy · 19/08/2022 19:31

Just a quick update, DH was very understanding and worried about me, but v much on the side of abortion. I looked at my two kids today, happy and playing in the garden and thought 'I can't do this to them, or me', so will be contacting BPAS. I already feel horrific, so know HG is around the corner. I feel ok with my decision now. I do think it's the right one for everyone.

OP posts:
MojoJojo71 · 19/08/2022 19:34

I hope everything goes well for you OP, whatever you end up deciding to do. Be kind to yourself 💐

wishing3 · 19/08/2022 19:34

Sorry you’re going through this, OP. I hope having clarity on what you want to do has brought you some peace. X

Helpplease888 · 19/08/2022 19:59

I had the same surprise at 42 a few months ago. I have an 11 year old and a 9 year old. I felt like I went in to a dark hole with it all- especially due to sickness too. Decided to go to BPAS. It was the right thing to do. I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

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