‘Late’ medical termination for medical reasons - experiences

[Babyliv23]

Hi all,

our baby was confirmed to have trisomy 18 this week, we are 17 weeks pregnant, we are so gutted and heartbroken.

I am looking for experiences with medical abortions as the d+e surgical abortion is too hard to say yes after reading what happens to the baby.

Its hard to understand with medical abortions, I know if early the pregnancy will just come out like blood, but what about in later pregnancy? Do you get to see / hold your baby? We would want this if we decide to go this route.

is there a certain week threshold we’re you need to induced and to give birth?

sorry if posted in the wrong section, any advice / experience really appreciated

thank you

Hi,

Firstly so sorry you're having to go through this. I had to have a TFMR at 19 weeks due to a diagnosis resulting in 'incompatibility with life' and chose the medical route for the same reasons as you.

Having also had early losses, induction for TFMR or Compassionate Induction is really quite different. It is a real labour and 'birth' rather than lots of blood and painful cramps.

I could decide which day I wanted to take the first lot of medication which would stop the heartbeat and production of progesterone, and then 48 hours later was scheduled to go in for the vaginal medication which would begin labour. Being able to have some control over when it happened was important to me so we could have chance to say goodbye in our own time etc, we were never rushed.

The time from taking the induction medication in hospital to birth was about 15 hours for me. I had the tablet at 9am, contractions began (period like pains) about 3pm and ramped up to contractions around 8pm. I delivered at 12.45am.

We had meetings with the bereavement midwife and consultant beforehand and filled in forms stating our wishes (naming baby, holding baby, post mortem wishes, memory box etc) so you don't have the additional trauma of discussing it after delivery. You are also completely allowed to change your mind if you decide actually you don't want to see baby or name etc.

If you haven't already, please have a look at the ARC (Antenatal Results and Choices) charity - they have a private forum for parents going through the same thing and it's a safe place to share / discuss etc. You have to email them to request a password but I have found them to be invaluable in terms of support.

If there's anything I've missed please do ask. Xx