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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Is it likely I will still feel devastated after termination if I feel nothing for the baby now?

5 replies

Xclg · 16/07/2022 12:00

I’m quite far gone, 16 weeks. Just came off the phone to MS and they’ve booked me in for surgical at 19.5 weeks, that’s the soonest they had!!

Ive been back and forth since I found out I was pregnant. My worry is that I’ve always wanted kids and the only reason I’m doing this is because I’m scared to be a single parent. I feel absolutely nothing for the baby…. But am I likely to suddenly feel an influx of regret and sadness after I do this? I almost feel like none of it is real, I’m scared to trust my judgment

OP posts:
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heartbroken22 · 16/07/2022 13:21

Only go through with a termination if you're sure. I terminated and due to my pregnancy hormones and sickness couldn't acknowledge the baby. But when it was 'gone' I regretted it immediately.

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StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind1 · 16/07/2022 14:35

Nobody knows, but all I felt was relief

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Crabwoman · 16/07/2022 14:43

You may do. I felt nothing before but afterwards feel a mixture of relief and grief.

I do not regret it at all but it was not without consequence emotionally..

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Notodaynotever · 16/07/2022 14:46

I really don't think anyone can answer this question for you.

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BuffaloCauliflower · 16/07/2022 14:49

You might, you might not, these things are complex and there’s no wrong or right way to feel. Not wanting to be a single parent is totally valid. So many women do it of course but it’s hard work.

For what’s it’s worth, I haven’t felt much emotionally towards either of my planned, wanted babies until 20 weeks plus into the pregnancies when I felt them move, it’s too abstract in the early days for me. I don’t think excitement or lack of it in the early months says much about how you’d feel when there was or wasn’t an actual baby. You have to trust your gut.

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