Medical or surgical termination based on travel plans

[LittleSheps]

I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant with a very unexpected and unplanned 3rd baby. It has come as a massive shock as we were using condoms and my husband is scheduled for his vasectomy in august! We have decided a termination is the right thing for us based on our desire to prioritise our existing children and the financial and practical implications that a third might have.

I had an initial consultation 2 weeks ago but because of having a previous ectopic pregnancy they wouldn’t go forward with a termination until it was clear if the pregnancy was viable or not due to the medication being different. I had a scan on Monday and the pregnancy is viable, consultation on Tuesday where I had decided on a surgical termination but after being told the wait time was another 2+ weeks changed my mind to a medical (although I’m still waiting for a date to come in for my first tablet).

However, we go on our first family holiday abroad a week tomorrow and now I’m second guessing whether I should wait until I get back (which would bring me to 9 weeks) due to post termination bleeding. The nurse told me I couldn’t use tampons while I’m bleeding and that it’s technically an open wound so I would assume swimming in the sea and pool is a big no no.

So I’m looking for advice about whether I should wait until after my holiday for the termination. How long did you bleed for? I already think I’ve decided to wait but that certainly makes the whole situation much harder for my emotions and hormones. I already have a tiny bloated baby bump and my boobs are getting bigger - plus my emotions are all over the place. The thought of being almost 10 weeks pregnant before the termination is a bit of a head f*ck and I worry will make it harder for me. I feel so upset that this is happening to us. I feel let down by everyone and everything: contraception; the vasectomy clinic that has taken over 2 years to get a slot; the termination process that takes so long.

Would you wait?

I can absolutely understand why it would feel like a head fuck!

This is why ‘as early as possible, as late as necessary’ needs to be properly understood. I’m so sorry that you have to wait for either option.

Personally, I’d choose the earliest option, whichever it is, because when I have had miscarriages I just needed it to be over.

💐

I'm so sorry you're going through this 💐

I think sooner would be best. Your holiday is going to be hard either way whether it's physically, emotionally or both.

Arrrg I had this exact situation OP after a failure of a coil! It’s was so annoying to say the least. I opted for a medical before the holiday and accepted that there would be no swimming for me. Main reason was that I get terrible morning sickness and I knew I couldn’t switch off from worrying about it. My only word of caution is that medicals sometimes can go a bit wrong. Mine ended up incomplete (I had no idea) and I ended up having to go to hospital for 2 nights on holiday (that’s the short version anyway). I was in the U.K. If you’re going abroad make sure it’s somewhere where you’re likely to be able to get help for an abortion if needed and obviously health insurance etc.

I was in a similar boat to you, OP - no holiday but there were
no appointments available for weeks and weeks and I was feeling pregnant, getting symptoms etc. I ended up ringing privately for a medical abortion which they sent in the post the next day.

I would wait and book a surgical for when you return. Medicals can sometimes go wrong/not work and you will definitely be bleeding when away, given the date of your holiday.

Tough decision OP, I feel for you.

I would wait too, as someone else who has had an incomplete medical. It's not something I would want to happen abroad

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences and offering your advice. I know so many people go through this but it’s so reassuring to hear your stories and feel like we’re all in it together. Thank you 💐

I’d get the medical. Would you want to spend all holiday pregnant ? Thinking about the termination when you get home ? I’d rather be bleeding and not swim or anything! Unless your going to Malta as if you need any medical help abortion is illegal there.

Will you be able to enjoy holiday knowing what is on store on your return? Plus the later the more difficult. I would get it done asap. Just accept no swimming for you.

I would wait till you get back. If something went wrong or you felt physically unwell afterwards it could end up completely ruining your break.

I'd wait til you get back. As you're going abroad you should check your insurance in case anything goes wrong.
What a horrible decision to have to make. Good luck