What do I do? Abortion or keep?

[Shan8560]

Hi!
this is a long one so please bare with me! I met my boyfriend over a year ago and became “official” a few months in.
our relationship is amazing and I honestly cannot fault him he’s so good to me and my children from a previous relationship.
i have been on the pill for nearly 3 years now and I stupidly managed to forget one of my pills last month whilst we was away!
i found out this week I’m pregnant which is a shock! My own fault as I was stupid enough to not even realise I forgot one of my pills. Anyway I have accepted I messed up there.
Since we found out my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion he says it’s too soon (which it is) and if I choose to keep it he doesn’t want to end up hating me and not wanting the baby. I think he is also worried about what others think (friends & family) as it hadn’t been long and the way it has happened. He said if it was in a couple of years time it would be better but now it isn’t the right time.

i agree and understand what he is saying as this isn’t what I wanted until a few years time as I have just started up my business and wanted to do things “properly” but now that I know I am pregnant have the symptoms aswell I don’t think I would be able to get rid of it.
i really don’t know what to do. If anyone can relate to this or give me any advice I would really appreciate it.
thank you

Are you prepared to raise this child as a single parent? Because your relationship is unlikely to survive an unwanted pregnancy which your partner wanted to abort. He has been very clear that he doesn’t want the child and would potentially “hate” you for keeping it.
Personally, I think the relationship is doomed whatever you do, since you would also resent him if you terminated.
How old are your previous children? Have you considered the effects on them of you becoming a single mother again?

Hi there! I'm so sorry you find yourself in this really tough situation. I can't imagine what you're going through. It seems to me that you really DO want to go ahead with this pregnancy, and for that reason I would say, go with your gut instinct. Yes it might be tough if your boyfriend decides not to stick around, but neither he nor you should be worried about what others think. I can also understand the timing isn't great, with a new business etc - but you'll find a way. This is a new life, a new little person to love and to add to your family. Have you ever met anyone who went ahead, had their baby and then regretted it? I haven't. This baby was clearly meant to be. Go for it. Trust yourself. You're already a mum, you can do this.

@Babdoc I split up from my childrens dad when our second was born and have raised them on my own they are 8 and 3 so raising another doesn’t bother me as I have done it for the last few years. So yes I am used to being a single parent which is a sad thing for me to say as I wanted the whole family unit thing

@SammyTheDog Your so right I have never met anyone who regretted having their baby! Thank you so much for your message. It’s made me feel so much better x

You just need to ask yourself if you want to be a single parent?

I have two children from my previous relationship who I have raised alone. So I I know I can do it alone but I didn’t want to be in this situation again if that makes sense? I thought when it came to having a third it would be a lot more different

Can you be a single parent?
you don’t want to abort the baby
he wants you to abort the baby because of what other people will think which is a ridiculous reason and because it’s ‘too soon’ what does that even mean

youve been together around a year and are having sex. You already have children so I presume you aren’t both in your teens. So if he can’t deal with it and get on board you need to cut him loose whatever you decide to do because you can’t rely on this man.

unless there’s a weird backstory here, no one will make comments about an adult couple who’ve been together almost 2 years by the time the baby would be born, having a baby. Please don’t let this man fill your head with his nonsense.

he’s threatening and emotionally blackmailing you by implying that if you have the baby it’s going to be your own fault if he hates you. He can use condoms and take responsibility for himself or he can choose not to hate you. It’s all well and good from a guy that didn’t use condoms and doesn’t have to have an abortion to spout off about who he’s going to hate and how hard it’s going to be for him.

honestly I would have the serious ick for him now anyway for being such a wet wipe about the whole thing

The boyfriend sounds very immature. Sadly, unless chooses to step up and support you in whichever decision you make then it doesn't look good for the relationship. I'd do what you want to do, what's right for you and your children.

From your post, I gather you want to keep the baby... so keep it!!
Your boyfriend will either embrace the child and support you or be a dick and leave you.

Either way, at least you'll know his real feelings towards you.

I couldn't be with a man who didn't support my right to choose, so this relationship would be over for me, either way.

Thank you so much for your messages.
i keep trying to tell him it would be fine but he’s saying he won’t want it even if he sees a scan? Which I don’t believe at all!
i know it’s a big shock to both of us but o thought his reaction would be different. Time will tell I guess

If you want to keep the baby and you have experience of being a single parent and know you are capable of doing it alone then keep the baby. He can decide what he wants to do, but your feelings are valid too and its your body.

You've never met anyone who SAID they regretted having a baby. That's not at all the same thing. There are plenty of people who regret it.

He doesn't want it. He's not going to stick around. If you want another baby as a single parent, go ahead. I wouldn't in your shoes, but its up to you.