I don’t know what to do, unplanned pregnancy.

[Confusedmum20223]

Hi everyone,

I recently found out I’m pregnant (now 7 weeks according to calendars). It was unplanned and I have only been with my partner around 5 months.

I already have a 5 year old to a previous relationship and I’m just so confused about what to do.

Our relationship hasn’t been the best lately and we can’t seem to communicate properly on anything. I tried to discuss an abortion at first but he just wouldn’t discuss it and said he wanted me and a family with me. But then after an argument he told me he wants nothing to do with either me or the baby - he has since apologised for this but I’m struggling to understand where he stands.

I had booked in for an abortion consultation this week which I really didn’t want to do as I’ve never wanted to get an abortion and I did want another child. But now I’m actually pregnant I’m so scared about being left alone to deal with it all again.

Now for my guilty bit that is driving me crazy - because I had booked an abortion, I went out on the weekend and got very drunk (at what I believe to have been 6 weeks and 6 days pregnant) as I wanted to sort of back myself into a corner with my decision and make sure I wouldn’t go back on it. However, this has backfired and as soon as I started to sober up I felt guilty and regretted it.

now I’m in a position where I think I really want to keep the baby but I am worried I’ve caused damage and I don’t know whether it’s just best to force myself to abort it for the greater good.

has anyone ever been in a similar situation :(

I know a couple of people who have had a drinking binge during pregnancy. One at 20 weeks and another I think was in the first or early second trimester. I myself drank heavily over the Christmas before I found out I was pregnant. All babies were fine. The important thing is that it's not repeated of you're sure you want to keep the baby.

It sounds like you know what you want, but I would plan on doing it alone from what you have said.

many people don’t even know they are pregnant at that stage so don’t beat yourself up

I don't think you've done much harm. Loads of people drink without knowing and have healthy babies.

Also always remember bad times will pass they're not their forever. But once a baby is gone it's gone. I wish someone had told me that. I had to learn the hard way.

I didn’t know I was pregnant until 8 weeks. I drank on multiple occasions before I knew. Baby is absolutely fine. Please don’t worry.