Abortion too close to wedding?

[sunshine8839]

Hi all,

I found out I was pregnant June 19th, which put me at exactly 4 weeks. (5 weeks now). Although my fiance and I do want kids far in the future, due to my work situation and other reasons, I am not financially or mentally ready for a baby at this time.

Here's the catch - I am getting married in just over a month. It is SO difficult to get an appointment at any clinic. The earliest I could get for a medical abortion is July 6th which I believe puts me around 7 weeks - this would mean a medical abortion only 3 weeks before my wedding. For those of you who have been through this, I am wondering if this is not enough time for my body to heal and enjoy the last few weeks leading up to my big day? I understand I will likely have some on and off bleeding, but I fear there are more things I should be concerned about. Would a surgical abortion be a better option? I am terrified I am running out of time. This is easily the scariest thing i have been through.
Thank you

A surgical abortion does tend to lead to a shorter bleed time afterwards, but you might find the wait for one is longer.

I think you probably have to come to terms with the fact that physically and emotionally, it’s going to be a bit of an unknown leading up to the wedding.

Bless you. I feel for you. But hold on to your hat.X

Recovery time from a surgical abortion is a couple of days. I can't comment on the emotional impact - only you can know that.

Surgical is easier in many ways, once you leave the building it's all over bar a bit of pain and bleeding. Also less likely to fail.
I went back to work the next day, but I had sedation not a GA.
Even so, I think 3 weeks post medical should be fine.
Mine was at 7 weeks, would have done it sooner but I was doing 2 weeks jury service at the time!

When could they do a surgical appointment? You bleed a lot less and it’s over with quickly that early on .

To be honest I didn't really consider a surgical until I've started doing more research in the last few days. The clinic i am booked through doesn't offer them, and the other clinic I contacted still hasn't gotten back to me. I will start reaching out to more as it seems this may be a better option for me.

I'm afraid my SIL had a medical after a missed miscarriage and it didn't work properly so she had all sorts of issues for months.

I think surgical is the best option if you can get it

No experience of medical abortion, but had a surgical under GA long time ago and was back at work the next day. There was a bit of bleeding afterwards and was told not to do any heavy lifting for a few weeks, not sure if that is still the advice, but everything was fine. In your situation I think a surgical abortion would be best.

You don't always bleed a lot. I barely bled with my 7 week miscarriage (appreciate an abortion is different but chemically it's essentially the same). Only you can know how you'll feel emotionally. You won't necessarily be really upset. Might be relieved you can get on with life.

You'll likely have a longer wait for a surgical abortion and I'm guessing you don't want to leave it until after the wedding?

Enjoy your wedding.

Have you tried the BPAS Op? They have clinics all over the U.K.

I had a medical abortion 2 weeks ago today at 6 weeks and I only bled for a week, it was very manageable (just like a normal period). I contacted BPAS and got a telephone appointment the same day and had the pills in my hand 3 days later. I didn’t need a scan as I was 100% sure on my dates. I’ve felt fine since, am testing negative on a normal pregnancy test and my symptoms went away by the time I stopped bleeding. If you have the same experience as me then you’d be fine but unfortunately no one knows how they are going to be as we are all different. I hope you make the right decision for you, whether it’s medical or surgical and are able to enjoy your wedding 💐

@TheThreadisMildlyAmusing unfortunately I'm not located in the UK, and I am not comfortable going to my family doc. There are about 5 abortion clinics in my city and they all are so difficult to get in contact with! Not sure if I should visit a walk-in clinic to see if it could speed up the process.

@Thebeastofsleep I feel like I am prepared for the emotional impact it will take, but you never know. I have felt so disconnected from my body and filled with anxiety, stress, and disappointment since I missed my period I feel like it makes my decision easier. I hope it gets me back to feeling me.

But yes, I definitely would like to have it before the wedding. We have a honeymoon and things will just be too difficult so if I cannot find a surgical appointment, I will go through with the medical.
My goodness it feels so therapeutic to be able to talk these things through!

My abortion was a long and drawn out process, I'm only telling you this so you can prepare for a worst case scenario. Multiple visits and scans at the start because they weren't sure they could see anything on the scans, then a failed medical abortion, re-scanned a couple of weeks later and another medical abortion which also failed, more scans and then a surgical abortion which was successful. I think it was about 8 weeks from me finding out I was pregnant to finishing the process.

I was happy with my decision so didn't find that emotional side of it hard, but the actual process was gruelling and such a long time to be in such a state of limbo, I'm not actually sure how I got through it at the time.

@confusedlots thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry you had such a drawn out experience. That state of limbo is something I'd like to avoid. I appreciate hearing all of the experiences. It's important I'm realistic and prepared for the possibilities.

I had a medical (5 weeks) and my bleeding & symptoms were over within 8 days. Xx

I had a medical abortion at around 6 weeks.. I bled for about a week. Physically I was fine after.

Mentally I am still not yet fully recovered even though I accept it was the right decision at the time.

I have my first counselling appointment next week.

Sending you ❤️