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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Original poster

Pregnant at 45!

24 replies

RoisinRua · 08/06/2022 21:35

Just found out I'm unexpectedly pregnant and I'm 45! I have 3 children and my youngest is 7. Don't know what to do...

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 08/06/2022 21:51

Hi OP, are you with the father?

If it turned out it was a, false positive tomorrow, how would you feel?

SleepingStandingUp · 08/06/2022 21:51

Hi OP, are you with the father?

If it turned out it was a, false positive tomorrow, how would you feel?

Threebutterflies · 08/06/2022 23:00

Would you like another baby? Do you still feel fit and healthy?

Original poster
RoisinRua · 08/06/2022 23:32

I'm married and I'm fit and healthyish but I'm in total shock. Can't quite believe this has happened!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 09/06/2022 00:03

I'm assuming you're very early? You have time to process. The right decision is the one that's right for you but you need time to work out what that is

Strokethefurrywall · 09/06/2022 00:11

What's your immediate reaction? "Oh fuck"? Or "holy crap what a shock but I'm happy"?

I'm 42 (nearly 43) and my youngest is 8. My immediate reaction would be the first because we'd settled at 2 kids (despite me wanting 3 since I was young).

Do you have the finances to support another?
Do you both have the emotional band width for another?
Will having another be detrimental to your family life or do you think they can just slot in?
Do you have a career that would be disrupted?

These are the questions I'd probably be asking in the same position.

Sorry you're going through this, it's definitely a shock to the system!

Original poster
RoisinRua · 09/06/2022 08:38

Thanks for the replies. Still feeling quite distressed.
Having another baby is doable but not without complications. H is doing a PhD and is caring for his elderly parents. It wouldn't be great for me workwise either.
But I really don't want to be pregnant at my age and I also don't feel like I will know what is right for me and my family.
It's such an awful decision to make.

OP posts:
Ishacoco · 09/06/2022 08:46

Live with it for a few days and see how you feel. Don't underestimate the shock factor!

Threebutterflies · 12/06/2022 20:32

how are you doing now OP ? Have you made any decisions? Hope your feeling ok either way x

Choosealane · 22/06/2022 21:37

how you doing? I'm in a similar position- aged 40 - discovered ten days ago; my eldest is 13, youngest 8....I'm now 12 weeks.

My DH isn't keen as he feels he's now free from child duties and ready for the next stage of his life.

did you make a decision?

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 13:05

I hope you decided to keep the baby, I'm 45 and I'd love to have a last one but just had a miscarriage :(

sandgrown · 27/08/2022 13:11

I discovered I was pregnant at 44. My youngest child was 21 . I was thrilled , excited and worried . The pregnancy was fine . I had an amnio and would have terminated if there was a problem. Teen years were a bit challenging but my son , who is now 20 is a joy who keeps me young . He has a great relationship with his older siblings and my grandchildren who are not much younger than him. Go for it OP .

twilightcafe · 27/08/2022 13:14

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 13:05

I hope you decided to keep the baby, I'm 45 and I'd love to have a last one but just had a miscarriage :(

That advice is not helpful. Don't try to load the OP with guilt.

rocksonrocks · 27/08/2022 13:16

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 13:05

I hope you decided to keep the baby, I'm 45 and I'd love to have a last one but just had a miscarriage :(

Could you ask for this to be deleted? What a weird, self projecting and unhelpful post.

FuckyDoodleDoo · 27/08/2022 13:22

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 13:05

I hope you decided to keep the baby, I'm 45 and I'd love to have a last one but just had a miscarriage :(

I'm sorry for your loss Julie010177 but don't see how this post is helpful to the OP.

IHeartPepsi · 27/08/2022 13:34

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 13:05

I hope you decided to keep the baby, I'm 45 and I'd love to have a last one but just had a miscarriage :(

Hmm
Threebutterflies · 27/08/2022 14:12

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 13:05

I hope you decided to keep the baby, I'm 45 and I'd love to have a last one but just had a miscarriage :(

What a stupid reply. Even if she kept the baby how would that affect you ? Unless your one of these pro life trolls I keep seeing on these threads

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 15:26

I don't mean that, it has been 2 month she most probably have made her decision before my post, I just hope she kept her baby without judgment if she didn't.

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 15:27

I'm not a pro life troll, I just say i hope she kept the baby, and I don't care if she didn't. You're the troll here!

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 15:28

Ok, I just wanted to know of the lady kept her baby or not as a curiosity, I don

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 15:30

Ok, i was just curious, I don't care either way! You're all stup IDs!

SirVixofVixHall · 27/08/2022 15:49

I had my last at 43, I have teenagers now, it is great ! In case it is your age that worries you.

Threebutterflies · 27/08/2022 16:16

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 15:26

I don't mean that, it has been 2 month she most probably have made her decision before my post, I just hope she kept her baby without judgment if she didn't.

So how do you think your reply would have made her feel if she did have a termination?

Julie010177 · 27/08/2022 18:15

If she had a termination that would have been her choice with her Husband and I doubt my message would bother her in any way, all I said was " I hope you kept the baby", that's all. I didn't say " you must keep your baby" or anything like that.
And I would not comment on their choice if it's a termination because who am I to judge on people's lives.
Also someone else said "go for it" and no one criticised.

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