#4

[Tigerpaws4]

We have 3 lovely children and I've just started a new job in my chosen career. Despite using contraception I have tested positive today. I missed my period and have been feeling a bit nauseous and tired for a few days (similar to other pregnancies) so I thought I'd test to put my mind at rest. I am shocked, numb in fact and have no idea what to tell DH or how to proceed. We've spoken about having another but it doesn't feel like the right time. Sorry to ramble. I don't know what to do :'(

Anyone?

Hi there,
I'm sorry that you're going through this, the shock of an unplanned pregnancy really is earth shattering. I would advise talking to someone asap, whether it's your husband or a counsellor or a phone hotline, because this builds up in you very quickly.
Take some time to think about how you feel, give yourself the best chance you have to know what you truly feel about this and what any of your options would play out like.

Thank you for your reply. My head is all over the place and I haven't told DH yet. I think that's the next thing but I'm so nervous as it's just not part of our plan yet. Trying a helpline now as WFH is just not happening at the moment.

Hi OP,

I could have written your post 4 months ago. Such a shock! I told DH straight away and he didn't speak for about 3 days!! I cried for 2 weeks 🙈 (I am a cryer though). But the more people I shared with, everyone so excited for us.

An early scan really helped. We told our children after the scan and they were overjoyed and so happy. Work/uni are being so supportive and now I'm over the moon about our little extra blessing.

I'm not sure if my story helps you but I really know the panic, take some time to let it all sink in.

Good luck :)

Thank you @crabcakesalad I feel so guilty whatever I think at the moment. Just need to get over the shock, talk to DH and go from there. I'm glad it all worked out well for you and your family in the end :)

@Tigerpaws4 I felt very guilty thinking about what the impact would be on our other children, our lives and finances. It was all driven by fear of the unknown. Now we're in different place. Our children are so excited. DH and I had a look and assessed our finances and all will be fine.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Have you broached things with your DH yet?

Yes I told him last night and he seemed happy about the news. I told him my feelings and he said whatever decision we come to will be the right one and we will manage whatever happens! It felt like a weight off my chest but like you it's the fear of the unknown that is really consuming all of my time and energy!

Oh that's a great update and a great start. What a fab supportive DH.

I don't think I have any special advice for the worrying. For me it passed with time and some processing the situation. You have to allow yourself to feel the way you do I think, no judgement of yourself. Take care OP xx

Unfortunately it looks like I'm having a MC now :( I feel heartbroken after beginning to imagine life as a family of 6. Oh well, on we go. x

I'm so sorry 😢

I hope you're okay x