Grieving abortion 2 years later

[turties]

Hi,

I had an abortion 2 years ago which I chose based on the fact that my ex was saying if I didn't terminate then he'd take his own life. I was 13 weeks. I have since had a baby with someone else and I think more and more about the termination. I can't get over it I have regrets and always think of what they could've been. It's eating me up inside. Not sure what I'm wanting from this thread, I just need to speak about it

I'm sorry for your loss and pain. As a devout Christian, I will pray that you find peace.

No big words of advice, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I grieved mine for years, still do. All I can say is that it's a cliche but time really does heal. Maybe not always completely but it gets a little easier as time goes past. You can't go back and change anything so don't beat yourself up.

I had one when I was 17 years old. I am now 31 with 2 dds aged 3 and 6 months and I have thought about it alot more since having them. No advice really but you're not alone xx

Thank you all I can't stop thinking about them

There needs to be more help available after abortion. I’m currently feeling suicidal because of mine . Tried to get help but on a long waiting list . These abortion companies have a lot to answer for . I had no counselling and was never told of the after effects that abortion can cause. They should make sure you know all this so you can make a proper decision.

I had a termination 13 years ago. Different reasons but very much wanted. I just couldn't see a way forward. I cannot talk about it without struggling not to break down. It doesn't consume me now though and I no longer think about it regularly. We're all different and you may benefit from some counselling.

I still cry about the one I had 2 years ago regularly, several times a week I'd say. It was a late term medical at 17 weeks due to family pressuring me into it. I've had another side then but the pain of the late term one is very very raw still. I've just come out of a severely abusive relationship for 6 years with someone who liked to get me pregnant and made me terminate and I was too afraid to speak up

I'm so sorry you are going through this, is there a local abortion counselling service in your area?
Something like bpas advice may also be helpful www.bpas.org/abortion-care/considering-abortion/advice-and-counselling/

To anyone who is struggling r.e post-termination regret, the following organisation/ helpline have been very helpful to me in the past in a similar situation. Their befrienders are very compassionate and really seem to "get it."

I'd strongly advise ringing them for free and confidential support.

www.archtrust.org.uk/

I also had an abortion 2 years ago, I was super young in abusive relationship and I had an abusive family too. I was 19 weeks. I feel you, you’re not alone, I cry every single day since, it’s very raw pain.. we are soldiers. I’m now 20 years old, haven’t worked in 2 years, had fun, or done much. Crippling anxiety. I have fybromyalgia due to the heartbreak. I will never be the same again.

I'm so sorry my lovely, I know nothing I can say can take that pain away. It's something no one will ever understand or feel unless they've gone through it 💐 It's now been almost 6 years since it happened, and I still badly struggle looking at his pictures and memory box. I've since had two babies, but they will never replace that little boy, and the pain will never fully go away. But somehow I've grown to live to accept what has happened has happened, but it took probably until the 4th or even 5th year to accept that, although it still does hurt. I realise how manipulated I was to believe I wasn't allowed to keep that baby, and being told I'd never be a fit mother. I've since escaped but it took a long time to gain the strength to. I think in a way it was a way of protecting our babies, fight or flight kicked in and feeling cornered. It was and never will be your fault, I know that can be hard to believe sometimes because I told myself it always was. I don't think I've actually had fun since either, or enjoyed life like before. It's like a light has gone out and I keep searching for it but it never comes. I can't seem to think straight and everything in the past is a numb, blurry haze from where I was barely hanging on.

Please know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Please do look after yourself and remember just because they aren't with us now doesn't mean we won't meet them again someday. Take as much time as you need to get to where you need to be ❤️