Found out I’m pregnant with second child already got a 7 month old

[Mumtobe2021x]

So found out today I’m pregnant , I don’t know how far I am but don’t think it’s very far as I been testing every month because I’ve had no periods since start of the year, problem is I already have a 7 month old and she takes up pretty much all my attention atm and also her dad and the babies dad is no good as it is he’s immature doesn’t help out at all hardly home always with friends ( I am planning on leaving him abyway) so it would be Just me looking after them both . I also feel abit upset for my daughter if I did keep it because she’s like my little princess and I want her to have all my attention but then I feel guilty for feeling like this . So I am considering an abortion but I feel guilty either way so I’m in two minds just looking for some guidance

Hi @Mumtobe2021x I think this is in the wrong place. Maybe ask @mnhq to move it to pregnancy choices?

Ah okay I don’t understand this site is to much there’s only certain topics it lets me add a thread to

Can’t advise other than to say that sounds hard, OP. Best of luck.

OP that sounds like a difficult situation. Never an easy choice, and one only you can make.

Please don't feel guilty for your feelings. There is no right or wrong way to feel about any of this - some women find it a very sad choice, some women just find an abortion a relief, I expect most have mixed feelings.

www.bpas.org/ may be able to offer help or support.

That's certainly a difficult situation to be in. Try to understand that there is no rational basis for guilt here. You have done nothing wrong and whatever choice you make will be, when it comes down to it, the best choice you can make so don't regret it or feel that you should have taken the other path. So be kind to yourself.

Certainly having 2 under 2 is very hard work and it's perfectly reasonable to choose not to take that on. But when they are a bit older, having 2 very close in age can be brilliant. Take the time to think it through.

Op, why were you testing every month? Did you want to be having unprotected sex?

Make an appointment to discuss a termination. Make more firm plans to leave.

@Mumtobe2021x

Ah okay I don’t understand this site is to much there’s only certain topics it lets me add a thread to

Don't worry about that at all. Having bodily autonomy is a feminist issue.

Best of luck to you, OP. That does sound very difficult, but I can tell from the way you write about the situation that you are a loving mother and a strong, thoughtful woman.

Whatever your decision, you are clearly doing your best for your daughter (and any potential future children). Don't forget that your needs matter, too---and that it's in children's best interests to have a mum who is healthy, happy, and supported.

Hope MNHQ can help you move this to Pregnancy Choices to get more advice and support.

Because I didn’t have a period since the start of the year so I kept testing jusy incase because I wasn’t on anything we was only having sex like once a month I didn’t think I’d get pregnant that easy I did tell him not to you know in me but he did anyway I know you still need protection but truth is I don’t want to be inserting any sort of hormones in my body

My 2 were close together. Hard work at first but as they got older (about 5 and 3) it was great and they were inseparable friends. I wish you all the best.

Evening, OP. We're going to move this thread over to Pregnancy Choices. for you.

Only you can decide. Perhaps some close friends or family can help you talk it through.

Either road may be the one for you but the thing to consider is that a termination does not put you back to where you were before you got pregnant. That road does not exist any more because this pregnancy will always have existed.

I hope you are able to make the decision that is right for you now and in the longer term and no one on the internet can tell you what it is. I wish you well.

It does however seem that you should definitely leave the partner.

Your partner should not have done that, OP. I'm really sorry.

There would be plenty of space between your children. There's sixteen months between two of mine and it's a perfect age gap. I'm sure your daughter will love having a little brother or sister, it'll be a huge benefit for her.

Enjoy your pregnancy!

You posted before your dd was born that she was going to be on a child protection plan because her father was violent and abusive. You had left him and were living with your own father. Are SS aware that you are back in a relationship with him and pregnant again?

@GrazingSheep

You posted before your dd was born that she was going to be on a child protection plan because her father was violent and abusive. You had left him and were living with your own father. Are SS aware that you are back in a relationship with him and pregnant again?

@Mumtobe2021x

Because I didn’t have a period since the start of the year so I kept testing jusy incase because I wasn’t on anything we was only having sex like once a month I didn’t think I’d get pregnant that easy I did tell him not to you know in me but he did anyway I know you still need protection but truth is I don’t want to be inserting any sort of hormones in my body

So he can wear a condom? Although from what others have posted up thread he’d probably refuse it.

Op, it takes a while to start ovulating again after birth, longer if you breastfeed and even longer if that is exclusive of formula.

You do still need to use protection, because you can ovulate at any time without warning.

Given your very unenviable position, I would be prioritising your existing baby and be doing what's best for them. I would also definitely not bring another child into the world having that loser as a father. I would have a termination.

Sorry, posted too soon...

I wanted to say now that what's one is done, please consider your future with him carefully... ignoring your boundary around sex (consent to sex with no ejaculation) means that he didn't have consent.

He isn't someone you should or want to be with...