Relationship struggles post Medical Abortion

[anxiousaquarian]

Hi Everyone,

I am about 4 weeks post Medical Abortion now (I had the tablets delivered to my home and everything was done at home).

Ever since, I have found communicating with my partner really difficult…

1. I am upset with some of his behaviours when we found out I was pregnant, during the procedure itself, and after. I know it affected him and he’s upset, but I found some of the things he said and way he acted, so shocking and upsetting.
2. We never talk about it…it’s as if it’s done and dusted. I can actually see him physically stiffen up if I mention it, and it makes me never want to bring it up, even in a light hearted way.

Has anyone got any advice? Anything specific, or a way of starting a conversation?

I feel like I have some trauma from the whole situation, but also feel like I have some resentment towards him (and I’m sure he probably has some towards me!)

I love him and he is a great person - we have a life together that I don’t want to lose - but I am really struggling here :(

i never recovered from the tablets at home termination, I was initally quite blaise ( had three other kids) thought this was an easy route. For me i was traumatised as I passed a tiny foetus. Caused me many years of distress.

I dont think you can ever suggest it is light hearted...you both need to communicate to move forward

These last couple of weeks since I’ve been back to work, I think I have really buried my head in the sand and kept myself busy… Today is the first time I’ve properly thought about it again, and I’m in floods of tears… I’m not sure how to avoid feeling this way for years also :(

I feel like everytime we communicate it ends in an argument… I want to talk about how let down I feel, and worried for when we decide to actually have children, whether I can trust him to be there for me… But I struggle to actually say those words out loud, because they sound so hurtful!