Hi!
This is quite a long story, and also a rare abortion experience - but I thought I would just throw it out there and see if anybody has experienced anything similar, because I need some reassurance desperately. I should point out that I am pro choice and my feelings are entirely personal to my own experience
I became unexpectedly pregnant when my baby was 6 months old, I had been breast feeding and had only one period. It was from one instance of sex ( I know because it was rare that we had the energy to have sex ! ) and I couldn't believe it had happened.
My baby had been awake every 2/3 hours, every night for the first 6 months of her life - she had just begun to sleep in her own room that week and was actually doing 6 hours a night, I was so relieved! I was still so sleep deprived and overwhelmed with first time motherhood that I just wasn't in my right mind when I became pregnant again.
I will explain why...
I found out I was pregnant the first time the day before lockdown began, I began working from home and had to move 2.5 hours away from friends and family in order to move in with my baby's dad and have a family home together. I was so isolated for the first 6 months of her life, I didn't see anybody apart from the odd, short visit and I had the feeling I was doing it all alone when my baby's dad went back to work after just 2 weeks. I was home alone, all day every day and breastfeeding around the clock. My mental health was all over the place...
I was so happy with my new baby, don't get me wrong - but those first few months were an intense experience and I felt like I was just starting to come out of that exhausted, life changing fog when my baby began sleeping...then I found out I was pregnant again.
I couldn't cope with the idea of doing it all again so quickly, I felt like I wouldn't be able to give my baby girl the attention she deserves and the stress would be too much that I would crack. I had a medical abortion at 6 weeks and it was the hardest decision of my life, the experience was already bad enough and made worse by the fact that it didn't go to plan.
I was still bleeding 6 weeks later, I had called the helpline and 111 all who kind of pushed me off - it was hard enough to ask for help as I already felt ashamed so I just left it. Eventually, the third time I called the helpline I was given an appointment to have a check up. the day before the appointment I passed a second pice of pregnancy matter, I still don't know what it was.
The nurse at my appointment was a bit horrified at what had happened and very sympathetic, she did a full internal scan of my uterus and confirmed everything looked normal and I was showing no sign of infection. She apologised and said that the sustained bleeding over the 6 weeks was my body trying to pass this last bit of tissue ( I still don't know what it was) and she said now that it had it should all be fine.
The next day my bleeding did stop and I thought the ordeal was over. However my period came 3 weeks later, I had never had a luteal phase that short, it usually was about 5 weeks but I put it down to the process.
HOWEVER my periods are still 3 weeks apart 6 months later. I know this can be because you aren't producing enough progesterone and I have this horrible idea that the mifepristone has permanently ruined my bodies ability to produce progesterone at a healthy level.
I feel like I took life for granted and now I will never get pregnant again and it is obsessing my mind day and night, at week 2 of my cycle my hormones dip so low I can't stop crying about it.
I know that it is a long shot but does anybody know anything about this?
I have been thinking of trying acupuncture to see if that can help restore my cycle to what it was.
The doctor told me that it may have just changed now that I am 31, but I am probably still ovulating because my period is regular. I didn't entirely wean my baby from breastfeeding until December when she was 13/14 months so could this be shortening my cycle?
I just need some sort of advice or reassurance, I don't have any support from anyone that I can talk to about it and I am struggling
ANY replies appreciated . Thanks so much if you got to the bottom of this lengthy post! I feel a bit better from just putting it out there anyway:)