Heartbroken and HG

[Waddlegoose]

We wanted a third DC and knew HG would be a risk but it’s hit hard.

Sickness started before 4 weeks and I’m now 6 and half weeks. Been admitted to hospital 3 times for fluids and anti-sickness. On my 5th set of meds to try and control it. I am now eating and drinking but have no energy and constantly feel sea sick. It’s so much effort to even climb the stairs, I’m spending all day in bed reaching.

I’m missing out on so much with my current DC, it’s putting a massive strain on DH and with HG there is a risk it will last the whole the pregnancy. Sickness lasted into the third trimester before although it was never this bad.

Has anyone ever terminated a wanted pregnancy, it’s breaks my heart but at times I don’t see another option.

Hospital don’t intervene unless you have 4 plus ketones and doctors just give you more combinations of drugs to try. Next steps are steroids I think.

I feeling like I’m dying and so upset

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this OP.

Nothing useful to add, but have you thought about contacting Pregnancy Sickness Support for help ?

www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/get-help/

@chattycaterpillar thank you, yes I’ve been in contact with them from 4 weeks. I’ve got a councillor / support group etc.

They are super useful and said nearly 50% of people who contact them have a termination. I feel let down by our health service

I know exactly how you feel op had HG for both pregnancies remember sobbing in the hospital because they'd given me a drip and wanted to ship me off home and I didn't feel any better
They told me 'it's just sickness' it bloody isn't.
Is there anyway DH can take on more of the burden of things and childcare, I know you feel guilty at moment about DC but it won't be forever
I have read posts about people terminating because or the sickness and being unable to cope with other young children etc
It's so incredibly difficult and I don't think HG is talked about enough
Have you tried a HG support group ok Facebook?

You say your feel let down, can I ask what you think it is that the hospital/doctors are not doing or providing?
What is it that you’re hoping for that they’re not doing?
Your Hg sounds awful and sickness was one of many reasons I decided not to have any more children. I really do empathise and understand that you are really struggling.
I would genuinely like to know what you think is possible that you’re not already being offered. Sometimes there is nothing that can be done…

Did any of the drugs work in your previous pregnancies? You could keep trying and see if any work. I had horrendous nausea, cyclizine did nothing, ondansetron actually took the edge off. I'm so sorry you're going through it. Keep bugging them for more support. At the very least they should make you feel supported and not just sent packing still feeling awful!

Hi OP, I don't have advice other than really use Pregnancy Sickness Support peer support as much as you can, I can see you already have a peer support match. I've got two HG pregnancies under my belt and it's a big factor in me thinking I probably won't try to have any more kids. It was horrific both times, but I did have a peer supporter from PSS for my second pregnancy which was a huge help and my mental health was much better second time around and I was marginally less severely ill too which was partly due to the advice from PSS and partly just through my first experience meaning I was more clued up and prepared and got more effective medication more quickly second time round. I was basically bed bound for months both times, but I was lucky at least in that both times my symptoms did gradually ease up in the second trimester both times and I was basically rid of it by the third trimester. It is so horrific though and it feels like there is no end in sight when you're in it. I can't tell you what to do, I had thoughts about termination with my first too and that was also planned, so I do get that. There isn't a right or wrong answer but use your peer supporter, mine was amazing, I spoke to her every day for months, sometimes multiple times a day, she saved my sanity.

@Smartiepants79 preventative care would be amazing for women with HG. Some hospitals have open referrals so you can pop in for fluids and a top up of antiemetics when you feel you are struggling.

It’s the prevention that gets me, I knew I was struggling on Saturday yet they won’t see me till my ketones are high and I’m vomiting water. At that point I had an ambulance ride which the doctor ordered, was in a&e then a ward for 24hrs. If they had an open referral where i could ring pop in for an hour or two it would have prevented that whole experience.

Everytime I need fluids I can not go to the ward that discharged me, I can’t go to the early pregnancy unit I have to sit in a&e while feeling like I’m dying for 3/4 hrs waiting to be admitted as the wards and pregnancy units you have to be referred to. Not to use the word lightly but it’s quite traumatic. The lights, smells, coming and going of people, sitting on a hard chair when all I want to do is lay down and sleep / vomit while having no energy and can hardly stand due to the weakness / dehydration.

Sorry that’s my rant over.

@drivepot thank you, I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself. Yes I have the Facebook too.
It’s rough I take my hats off the HG warriors it’s by far the hardest thing I have ever done (labour is easy and I had a complicated labour compared to this)

I had HG with my first pregnancy and I would love to have another but I can't bring myself to do it. You are braver than me.

Nine months feels like forever but it's is only a short time in your life and your existing childrens life.

Would you feel like your family was complete?

Please be kind to yourself. HG is heartbreaking and people should not be made to suffer.

I wish you all the best. Huge hugs

I feel your pain I nearly lost my youngest with it - they wouldn’t do anything until I was so dehydrated that I nearly died.

Can your GP intervene?
The best thing for me was getting the right consultant but I had it from day 1 until day of delivery and it nearly killed me.

If you're in South London, there's a service where nurses can come to your house with drips every day - I can look out up if it could be helpful

They could do a lot more - the 4+ketone is rubbish, as confirmed by the person who came up with it.

Try steroids.

@BestInterests no not near london but that sounds epic. Some hospitals are so much better funded for HG and have specific areas to treat women and some don’t. With most stuff with the NHS it’s a postcode lottery

@Theyweretheworstoftimes I think I can be content with the children we have. There’s positives to sticking at two for sure and if I did have a termination I need to focus on those.

Sympathies OP, I had 2 HG pregnancies and it is horrific.

I don’t know where you are but there is a phenomenal clinic at Chelsea West in London where you can come and get fluids when you start to feel yourself struggling. This was a lifesaver for me in my second pregnancy.

Also do experiment with adding drugs/combos - the only thing that worked for me was cyclizine PLUS metaclopramide PLUS ondansetron.

But - if you feel you need to terminate then do it and don’t feel a moment’s guilt. I had HG up to and including in the labour ward both times (vomited all over he midwives - lovely) and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

So sorry to hear you're suffering , it's awful , I know there is nothing I can say to really help just I have been there and all I could do is literally take one day at a time or often one morning or one afternoon at a time, some days one hour at a time, it's hard though so hard and I feel like I lost so much time to HG but I did get my happy ending and my third baby was born 6 months ago and of course now I have him I'm completely in love but very often on my darkest days I would think it's just not enough to know there is a baby at the end of this hell.
x

I assume you're aware of this advice OP? Ketones should mean naff all really x

@Kudupoo yeah the pregnancy support group sent me information on ketone yet every hospital in the uk seems to use them 🤷‍♀️