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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

Just taken mifepristone @ 5 weeks 4 days

20 replies

Candlelight1997 · 25/02/2022 14:23

Hi all.
I have scoured this website in the two weeks up until this point. I have had to have a termination due to many reasons which has broken my heart, but I know in terms of the future for this baby, it was not going to be the best I could give it.

As I am only 5 weeks 4 days (roughly) I feel much “better” if that’s the right thing to say, that it doesn’t have a heartbeat yet.

I have never been through an experience like this. I am emotional and upset that it has had to happen and I am angry at myself. It will be 2pm tomorrow afternoon when I take the 4 miso tablets.

Can anyone who has been through a medical abortion please let me know how it was for you? And how you recovered mentally afterwards. I feel the hardest part for me will be the mental side of this.

Please no negative comments, I have already taken the tablet to stop the hormones keeping the embryo growing, it is too late.

OP posts:

Goldenharp · 25/02/2022 14:28

I haven't been in your situation. I think you must have made the best decision in difficult circumstances and I am sure you gave it a lot of thought. I hope somebody else comes along who can give you reassurance about the process.

Original poster

Candlelight1997 · 25/02/2022 14:33

@Goldenharp Thank you for your kind words. I occasionally get swept up in a tidal wave of guilt and panic over what I have done. I know it is the right decision for my family, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
I have two young children, 2 and 6 months and I know their life would have been negatively impacted if i continued this pregnancy, in terms of finances and way of life. It’s just very hard being a mum to do this. I will always remember this baby and the due date will be with me forever.

OP posts:

Wagsandclaws · 25/02/2022 14:35

If it's the right decision then it is for the best for you.

I'm ever so sorry - I hope it goes ok for you.

Original poster

Candlelight1997 · 25/02/2022 14:37

@Wagsandclaws Thank you for your wishes. It is nice to have people online to share this with. It is what is best for my family, but still very hard.

OP posts:

Wagsandclaws · 25/02/2022 14:40

It will be - if it helps to have company in this journey then that is a good thing.

Try and stay as positive as you can. Think about the reasons why if you feel bad. I'm not saying don't feel bad as that is natural and to be expected but there are reasons why you are taking these pills and if it helps in any way try to focus on them.

for you.

Original poster

Candlelight1997 · 25/02/2022 14:46

@Wagsandclaws I really appreciate you. I am worried about the hormonal dip that is going to happen. But yes you are correct, I will remember the reasoning when the panic sets in.

OP posts:

MissMaple82 · 25/02/2022 14:59

I have been through this twice OP. Both at around 6 weeks. I won't lie, the first time I found it extremely emotional but it was also a traumatic experience as protestors were involved. I did feel guilty for a long time afterwards and at some points I even regretted it, every year was emotional when their birthdays would come round. Looking back I should have sought counselling. Some years later I found myself in a similar position, and had to have another one. This one was mentally and emotionally more easier to deal with, no protestors involved with this one! I can't explain why but it just didn't impact me as much as the first. Physically, in my opinion they don't hurt much, I have also experience a miscarriage which was extremely painful in comparison. Paracetamol and a hot water bottle will be enough. Take some time out for self care in the days and weeks that follow. It's a grieving process, you still grieve for that baby. Some are not phased at all others find it traumatic. I will point out that I look back now with no regrets, both were the right decision. Good luck OP, you'll get through it

Lornahere · 25/02/2022 15:11

@Wagsandclaws so sorry you have to go through this. I had a surgical abortion one month ago, the physical part was easy, the mental part was harder as I had some sort of baby blues feeling afterwards that made me very sad and sensitive for 2 weeks (I was 7 weeks, had a miscarriage before at 9 weeks and had the same feeling). I am feeling much better now though. I found reading and writing here helped to cope, as I didn’t feel so alone on this journey. Also little gestures of selfcare helped to get back on track.
I also had another abortion in my 20s also on week 5, and then I felt nothing. I didn’t get to feel pregnant at all and the decision was so clear I had no regret and never looked back.
Hope your journey goes well 🌷

Original poster

Candlelight1997 · 25/02/2022 17:19

@MissMaple82 Hi, thank you for your comment. Your comment has given me some comfort knowing that you look back and see that it was the right decision. I appreciate your comment

OP posts:

Original poster

Candlelight1997 · 27/02/2022 09:26

Hi everyone who previously commented. I wanted to update this post with my experience, in case anyone else was like me and looking for some reassurance.

I took the Misoprostol at 1:45pm (I inserted 4 vaginally as I heard there are less side effects like this). 3 hours passed and I then started to bleed, it was fairly light at this stage. I was pottering around the house, I think keeping active helped move things along.
Bleeding increased but nothing dramatic or like the horror stories I read before the termination.
Around 5 hours after inserting the Misoprostol, I felt that I needed to go sit on the loo and I passed a lot of blood and clots. I felt the biggest clot pass which I know was the pregnancy, I was sad at this point but I know for the best in the long term.

For some reason I did look, I feel that I maybe wanted some closure. I see all of the tissue and then a marble shape with white tissue inside, I had only just turned 6 weeks so it was an early termination.

The bleeding then decreased and also the cramps become very slight.
I’m writing this the next day and now I am bleeding like a regular period.
It has been very hard emotionally, especially at the point of passing the pregnancy. But I just needed to update so other women facing an early termination are not scared by all the horror stories online.

I feel that when I TTC in the future, I will be punished for this decision. Has anyone else felt this way?

OP posts:

Paintingflowers · 27/02/2022 10:10

Hi @Candlelight1997

Thank you for writing this. I can’t answer your question but thank you for sharing your experience. Im due to take the 4 tablets today and I’m so scared. Reading stories like this does help.

Original poster

Candlelight1997 · 27/02/2022 10:14

Hi @Paintingflowers , please don’t be scared. I was very scared and in my opinion, there was nothing scary happening. I was only very early so I feel that definitely helped the situation, but the cramps and bleeding was not at all like what I had read online. I hope it goes okay for you. Always here if you need to talk later on!

OP posts:

Lucie1890 · 28/02/2022 16:43

Hi
Thank you for sharing. I'm due to go on Thursday but am really struggling thinking about it. Deep down I know its the right decision but when I think that it's a baby it breaks my heart. I'm really scared as like you I've read all the horror stories.

Original poster

Candlelight1997 · 28/02/2022 17:05

@Lucie1890 Hi, I hope it goes okay for you. I know exactly how you feel, I felt the same. I just knew I had to do what was right for my family and children at this current time. It was so heartbreaking making the decision but the actual process was not at all like I imagined. How far are you if you don’t mind me asking?

OP posts:

Lucie1890 · 28/02/2022 17:10

Il be 7 weeks. So believe it will just be the tablets. Was it not as bad as you expected I'm so worried as its the unknown

Dogsandbabies · 28/02/2022 17:10

Hi OP, just to say that I had a termination much like yours 16 years ago. I am now 38 and I have a wonderful, job, family and 3 children. I sometimes think 'what if' but I have never regretted my decision. It just wasn't right for me at the time. I remember thinking that I will pay for my decision when I decided to start a family but I think that is normal. And wasn't true. Good luck.

Paintingflowers · 28/02/2022 19:25

Hi @Candlelight1997

My experience was similar to yours - the emotional build up significantly worse than the actual process.

I had no pain, light cramping (felt more like I was hungry) and then bleeding/clots after about an hour. Not sure exactly when the pregnancy passed but it was all very very manageable physically.

Today is like a period and I feel like myself again.

How are you feeling today?

Lucie1890 · 28/02/2022 20:14

Yeah I think because ive felt so terrible about it i've built it uo so much in my head.

Did the clots start an hour after you took the tablets at home?

I'm just really stressed about the whole thing really. Ive been really down the last week but that last two days ive sort of not changed my mind i know its for the best kind of thing. Todays been abit hard my friend has just told me she pregnant so thats been on my mind all day
I'm so tried and I'm blaming that on being stressed.

Original poster

Candlelight1997 · 28/02/2022 21:04

@Dogsandbabies thank you for your lovely comment, that has reassured me. Thank you.

@Paintingflowers I’m pleased to hear the physical process for you was okay, I agree that the emotional process was much harder. Today is just like a normal period and I am feeling okay in myself, it sort of feels like it didn’t actually happen to me if they makes any sense.

@Lucie1890 I will reply to your PM. But I’m regards to the clots for me, it was about 5 hour mark they started x

OP posts:

Paintingflowers · 06/03/2022 16:13

Hi @Candlelight1997

How has your week been? Feels like the week has gone fast but also so slow. Not feeling myself yet and have been distracting myself with work.

Very tired though….

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