Those who have had abortion by pill and children....

[notthemama91]

I had a home abortion two days ago at 7weeks.

The agony was unbearable after the 4 vaginal tablets. I felt like I was being slowly carved apart from the inside. I couldn't even keep track of what I was passing because the pain was blinding, I wept and was absolutely petrified to take the last set of two, but I managed them orally.
Yesterday I was just exhausted and in a daze, today I've woken up and simply can't stop crying. My partner told me I need to do the dishes that I said I'd do a few days ago (he works long shifts as a student nurse) and I just broke down. He's apologised and said he'd do them but I can't stop sobbing.

I definitely did not want a child and I'm furious at myself for getting in this situation, but I feel so guilty, ashamed, and also very thirty and old and past it.

Anyway excuse my rambling, but is the agony I felt the same agony as contractions and labour? It was utterly unbearable, at one point I was begging for an ambulance
(which I'm glad in the end my partner dissuaded me from doing, as I'd already taken ibuprofen, paracetamol and codeine so they wouldn't have been able to do anything, and our A&E dept is notoriously shit)

I can't imagine being strong enough to go through with that, even with the promise of a wanted child at the end of it, it was the worst day of my life.

Also, any ideas as to when I'll stop crying? It's bloody inconvenient.

Hey!

I've had an medical abortion when I was younger.

I've also had 3 full term labours.

Yes yes yes it is exactly the same pain! But only say 1/4 of it!

When I had my medical abortion.. I was the same as you described. It actually made me sort of relieved at the time that I wasn't going to be going through childbirth!

It feels exactly like contractions .. in the early stage! Because remember contractions are opening your cervix!

I also had mine at 7 weeks.

You will feel better soon, but remember you might get a very big urge to get pregnant soon.. it's very normal.. it's like your hormones are going crazy to replace! So be aware of that!

Yes it is the same pain but it doesn't escalate to the same point and for me it lasted a couple of hours whereas labour is usually longer. Strangely when i had tablets to pass my miscarriage, at one point the pain was like one long contraction that didn't stop, rather than the coming and going of labour, so that was awful, and i ended up just on the bathroom floor unable to move.

@greyeyes

Hey!

I've had an medical abortion when I was younger.

I've also had 3 full term labours.

Yes yes yes it is exactly the same pain! But only say 1/4 of it!

When I had my medical abortion.. I was the same as you described. It actually made me sort of relieved at the time that I wasn't going to be going through childbirth!

It feels exactly like contractions .. in the early stage! Because remember contractions are opening your cervix!

Ten years ago my friend had her first son, and I was asking her so many questions about what it was like afterwards. She quietly confessed to me that she didn't really FEEL like she gave birth because she was on so much gas and air. (the newborn baby in her arms did indeed confirm she in fact gave birth lol)

I've had gas and air for a sprained ankle before, can that REALLY help contractions and birth so much!? I thought only an epidural would do that.

Also I had diarrhea at the same time, I didn't know if I needed the toilet or to vomit. At one point I did both, it was hell. I never thought I had a particularly low pain threshold, but I guess you never know?

For me the gas and air helped for a while but then it stops doing much more than taking the edge off. I enjoyed the birth i had with the epidural and felt much more 'present' than the one without because I felt like I was drowning in pain a bit.

@greyeyes

I also had mine at 7 weeks.

You will feel better soon, but remember you might get a very big urge to get pregnant soon.. it's very normal.. it's like your hormones are going crazy to replace! So be aware of that!

No fear, I am not going near a baby making implement in the near future. This was pure hell and the hardest lesson to learn.

@MrsTophamHat

For me the gas and air helped for a while but then it stops doing much more than taking the edge off. I enjoyed the birth i had with the epidural and felt much more 'present' than the one without because I felt like I was drowning in pain a bit.

I find that very interesting you felt more 'present', Like I said to my friend, the baby is right there - you did it! (she went on to have three more so she's definitely felt it now) imo I don't see why we would need to suffer pain in this day and age. if that's a peek into what to expect then I want an epidural permanently ready the week I'd be due! that was awful.

I've had 2 births at full term and 1 TFMR at 16 weeks with the pills, all 3 with heat and shower for pain relief. I don't remember the birth pains very well, I kind of went into a state during those. For the termination, it was like intense period pain, very steady compared with how contractions at full term felt like (those were much more up and down).

But my mental state was different too - birth was working towards something and my body took over, but with the termination, I was sad and scared and confused. So I think it would have altered how the pain felt too, these things are not always objective.