Termination at hospital - is it possible? Desperate

[Luckyme30]

Ive posted a few new threads over the last few weeks, basically I’m in a tricky situation whereby my partner does not drive (for medical reasons). We have a small baby and my local BPAS clinic only offers a TOP under a local (I have PTSD) from a previous Gynae procedure and I just don’t think it’s possible I can undergo this treatment without a GA.

The only option I think open to me is surgical but it’s at a BPAS location that is around 200 miles from me, meaning I will have to stay over but I can’t get treatment without someone to ‘collect’ me after - my partner can of course do that but it would mean 2 nights away with him and our small son.

There are no other providers in my area (I’m south east) I’ve tried MSI and they are not local and neither are NUPAS.

I’m wondering, I’m so desperate but has anyone had any success in being treated for a termination in a local hospital?

I know I need to ask BPAS if this is an option and I will on Tuesday when I have my call with them but I am so anxious, I can’t eat, sleep or function worrying I’m going to have t travel so far for a procedure.

My other option is to keep the baby which due to my mental health is not a great option.

Please please if anyone has been able to be treated in hospital due to these/or similar circumstances do let me know.

Thank you x

@ShovellyJoe thanks for sharing your experience. I think in my area as it’s BPAS I will have to go out of area but will certainly ask.

@MaizeAmaze Unfortunately as I’ve waited so long for a phone consult with BPAS (3 weeks) I’ll be 8+4 when I speak to them, however due to my slightly complicated Gynae history I don’t think they will send tabs without a scan at the very least and from what I’ve been reading the waits for scans are 1 - 2 weeks, I would also need to try and fit it in around work/finding childcare for my son which limits which days I can go.

I’m still a tiny bit hopeful they may allow the pills at home but am anxious as I’ll be 9+ weeks at that stage.

@newbiename sorry that was probably a bit of a guess but i know it’s 1.30-2hours drive from where I am based depending on traffic.

I could also get a train but the issue I have is that BPAS don’t allow people to have a GA unless there is someone to accompany them home/stay with them after.
I can get there by driving but problem is it would mean a stay overnight for myself (probably realistically 2 nights as I’ll need to be at the clinic early morning) , my partner and our son - we can absolutely do this if it’s the only option and we’re both prepared to but it’s just something I hoped we could avoid.

It’s making me so stressed thinking about how well do it, I wish to keep it private from family and my mum is very local to us and has my son so it would mean having to lie to her as to why were both suddenly making a trip to Bournemouth. It just makes me uneasy

[quote Luckyme30]@newbiename sorry that was probably a bit of a guess but i know it’s 1.30-2hours drive from where I am based depending on traffic.

I could also get a train but the issue I have is that BPAS don’t allow people to have a GA unless there is someone to accompany them home/stay with them after.
I can get there by driving but problem is it would mean a stay overnight for myself (probably realistically 2 nights as I’ll need to be at the clinic early morning) , my partner and our son - we can absolutely do this if it’s the only option and we’re both prepared to but it’s just something I hoped we could avoid.

It’s making me so stressed thinking about how well do it, I wish to keep it private from family and my mum is very local to us and has my son so it would mean having to lie to her as to why were both suddenly making a trip to Bournemouth. It just makes me uneasy[/quote]
It's awful you can't access help locally.
I'm surprised somewhere like Oxford have nothing. I hope you can get something sorted out.
I always imagine teenagers with no money or partner who don't want to tell anyone

• how on earth do they manage ?

We used to do TOPs at my hospital on a Saturday but that was stopped. Money I expect.

@Luckyme30 if your really stuck, I’m working in Gynae theatres on Monday so I can ask where people are referred to for surgical TOP in the local area. Send me a DM and I’ll see what I can find out.

(I’ve got friends at the JR, so I can set them on to the case as well)

@newbiename I know :( I think with Covid things have changed slightly, this all just going on what I have read on these threads (I’ve read through nearly all posts in the last year at least) and most people have either been offered the medication (which I think I’ll just miss cut off for) or surgical but under a local - I won’t go into my PTSD but what I will say is that I had to have some abnormal cells removed a few years back and due to the PRSd I just could not tolerate the procedure under a local and in the end was able to have surgery to remove the cells (it was private because my partner and I have private health cover through his work - although I know private cover won’t cover this issue, so isn’t an option this time around).

I just feel like I can’t be the only person who is unable to travel but then I don’t know, I see some posts and women have had to travel for treatment but have chosen to confide in someone to take them.

A lot of my friends either have children so can’t commit to stay away for a whole day (and travel all that way) and others are having fertility issues - it would be unfair and insensitive of me to even begin to put my troubles on to them (I also would never dream of telling them).

I just wish at least in Oxfordshire there was one hospital that still did the odd procedure but I just don’t think that’s the case - it all seems to have been outsourced to BPAS.

@WhatisanODP thank you so much! I really am quite stuck, I would be ever so grateful if it’s something that you might be able to find out.

I’ll send you a message.

[quote Luckyme30]@newbiename I know :( I think with Covid things have changed slightly, this all just going on what I have read on these threads (I’ve read through nearly all posts in the last year at least) and most people have either been offered the medication (which I think I’ll just miss cut off for) or surgical but under a local - I won’t go into my PTSD but what I will say is that I had to have some abnormal cells removed a few years back and due to the PRSd I just could not tolerate the procedure under a local and in the end was able to have surgery to remove the cells (it was private because my partner and I have private health cover through his work - although I know private cover won’t cover this issue, so isn’t an option this time around).

I just feel like I can’t be the only person who is unable to travel but then I don’t know, I see some posts and women have had to travel for treatment but have chosen to confide in someone to take them.

A lot of my friends either have children so can’t commit to stay away for a whole day (and travel all that way) and others are having fertility issues - it would be unfair and insensitive of me to even begin to put my troubles on to them (I also would never dream of telling them).

I just wish at least in Oxfordshire there was one hospital that still did the odd procedure but I just don’t think that’s the case - it all seems to have been outsourced to BPAS.[/quote]
Is there a private provider ? Could you do that ?

Just to consider if you go on the train you might not feel well after a GA ? So would be best to have someone there if possible.
You say you're near Oxford have you looked at Birmingham?

@newbiename there is a private provider, it’s about £2,400 for the procedure under GA and £1,400 for sedation. If I knew sedation would mean no pain/sensation I would seriously consider it but I’m seeing mixed reviews on it.

Also if Birmingham is an option that could be do-able for me as probably easier travel wise than say Bournemouth. It’s just Ive never seen Birmingham mentioned on these boards (for GA) I’m only going on what I’ve read so far. I can’t seem to find any information about individual BPAS sites and what they offer specifically. I guess I’ll have to wait until Tuesday when I have my phone consultation to decide if there are any other options for locations.

[quote Luckyme30]@newbiename there is a private provider, it’s about £2,400 for the procedure under GA and £1,400 for sedation. If I knew sedation would mean no pain/sensation I would seriously consider it but I’m seeing mixed reviews on it.

Also if Birmingham is an option that could be do-able for me as probably easier travel wise than say Bournemouth. It’s just Ive never seen Birmingham mentioned on these boards (for GA) I’m only going on what I’ve read so far. I can’t seem to find any information about individual BPAS sites and what they offer specifically. I guess I’ll have to wait until Tuesday when I have my phone consultation to decide if there are any other options for locations.[/quote]
I'm a nurse (not in this area ) I think you'd be ok with sedation. I've had procedures under sedation and been fine.

@newbiename I did wonder if sedation may be the better option for me. I will enquire on Tuesday but if that’s not possible I could potentially pay privately, though the clinic is in London but not too much of an issue as can probably arrange childcare for a day and my partner come with me to make sure I’m ok on the train home.

[quote Luckyme30]@newbiename I did wonder if sedation may be the better option for me. I will enquire on Tuesday but if that’s not possible I could potentially pay privately, though the clinic is in London but not too much of an issue as can probably arrange childcare for a day and my partner come with me to make sure I’m ok on the train home.[/quote]
Good luck 🤞🏼

@newbiename thank you and thanks to all who have offered suggestions. It means a lot.

Not much info to offer but have DMd you.

OP - I hope you manage to work things out, this all sounds very scary for you.

I just wanted to offer you some practical advice if you do have to take the Bournemouth option.

There is a Village hotel directly opposite Bournemouth hospital, with a Starbucks, a restaurant, and a gym and swimming pool. So your partner and child could very easily spend time there while you are having your procedure, and then pop across the road to collect you and take you to a comfy hotel room for a night or two. I know this is not ideal, and I do not mean to be insensitive or make it sound like a holiday at this very upsetting time, but I just wanted to let you know that there is a comfortable option within a two-minute walk of the hospital, and it would not be nearly as expensive as paying for private termination.

Wishing you all the best.

@BenjiMcSchmenzie thank you so much for taking the time out to offer me that information, if I do need to go to Bournemouth it’s really great to know that it wouldn’t be too far for us to travel back to a hotel.

Thanks for your suggestion.

The BPAS in Bournemouth is nt at the hospital

@StarCat2020 ah yes I have just googled it and it appears it’s not!

Sorry, I hope you get it srted out

@StarCat2020 thank you, just waiting for my appointment on Tuesday to see what the realistic options are and then will go from there.

Oh god sorry @Luckyme30 …. Ok I know where the BPAS is now - if you need any help with accommodation recommendations please do let me know, I’m local

@BenjiMcSchmenzie thanks so much. Ive got my appointment (on the phone) on Tuesday so I should have a better idea of where I’m likely to need to go so would be great (if I need to go to Bournemouth) if you had any recommendations of where is near etc. Thanks so much.

I went to the gp to try and refer me to a hospital to have a late term medical but he said he couldn't do anything about it and that I'd have to contact them myself. Bpas ended up sending me to one of their hospital clinics over 300 miles away in Yorkshire (I'm down the Sussex coast). It was honestly a pain trying to get what I wanted as they kept pushing for surgical but I stood my ground and said no.

Really hope you manage to sort something out. Times like these can be so stressful

How did you get on @Luckyme30 ?