I wondered if I could share with you what is currently happening for me because I am having to hiding it from everyone and I am really needing some support and to vent and to let it out.
I have 4DC under 8 and I am married to quite an abusive H who has a history of not liking to use contraception and putting me under pressure to go through with pregnancies I do not want. When I was pregnant with DC no.3 I did not want to continue but was put under a lot of pressure by my H and my family (they are all catholic) to go through with it. During my pregnancy with DC4 I got caught trying to get an abortion and backed down and had DC4. Obviously I love all of my DC very much and do not regret having them. My only regret is being in such a position of vulnerability.
I have since got a job, have financial independence and I am working very hard towards getting a fuck off fund and leaving. My job is long hours and luckily I have good childcare.
I am now accidentally pregnant with DC5 and so far have successfully arranged and paid for a a sedated surgical abortion next Tuesday in secret from my H, family and work. As the days pass I am struggling holding it all together because I have terrible morning sickness, still have to go to work and look after the kids, and I am nervous about having an operation alone.
My surgery time is 10.30am, it is the one where you put the smaller dose of misoprotol inside you a couple of hours before and then they sedate you and remove the pregnancy.
I wondered if I could hear anyone’s experience of this, there are a few things making me nervous.
I will have to insert the misoprotol while still at home before I go in. They assured me it’s not like the dose from the medical abortion (it’s 2 tablets rather than 4) and they told me I may just have light cramping and some bleeding. I have heard that people have unpredictable reactions to this drug and I am nervous that it will make me in pain / bleeding / nauseous while at home with my family and I will not be able to get to the clinic.
The second thing, and please don’t think I am
Mad for thinking this is possible, is that I have to go to a work dinner in the evening. All I have to do is sit there and listen to a talk but my attendance is really important. It will be 7 hours post surgery. Do you think there is anyway that might be possible?
Thank you for listening. I know I should tell someone irl but I feel so ashamed that this keeps happening to me.