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Pregnancy choices

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Needing support - planning and having an abortion alone

5 replies

Applausefromtheback · 16/02/2022 21:09

I wondered if I could share with you what is currently happening for me because I am having to hiding it from everyone and I am really needing some support and to vent and to let it out.

I have 4DC under 8 and I am married to quite an abusive H who has a history of not liking to use contraception and putting me under pressure to go through with pregnancies I do not want. When I was pregnant with DC no.3 I did not want to continue but was put under a lot of pressure by my H and my family (they are all catholic) to go through with it. During my pregnancy with DC4 I got caught trying to get an abortion and backed down and had DC4. Obviously I love all of my DC very much and do not regret having them. My only regret is being in such a position of vulnerability.

I have since got a job, have financial independence and I am working very hard towards getting a fuck off fund and leaving. My job is long hours and luckily I have good childcare.

I am now accidentally pregnant with DC5 and so far have successfully arranged and paid for a a sedated surgical abortion next Tuesday in secret from my H, family and work. As the days pass I am struggling holding it all together because I have terrible morning sickness, still have to go to work and look after the kids, and I am nervous about having an operation alone.

My surgery time is 10.30am, it is the one where you put the smaller dose of misoprotol inside you a couple of hours before and then they sedate you and remove the pregnancy.

I wondered if I could hear anyone’s experience of this, there are a few things making me nervous.
I will have to insert the misoprotol while still at home before I go in. They assured me it’s not like the dose from the medical abortion (it’s 2 tablets rather than 4) and they told me I may just have light cramping and some bleeding. I have heard that people have unpredictable reactions to this drug and I am nervous that it will make me in pain / bleeding / nauseous while at home with my family and I will not be able to get to the clinic.

The second thing, and please don’t think I am
Mad for thinking this is possible, is that I have to go to a work dinner in the evening. All I have to do is sit there and listen to a talk but my attendance is really important. It will be 7 hours post surgery. Do you think there is anyway that might be possible?

Thank you for listening. I know I should tell someone irl but I feel so ashamed that this keeps happening to me.

OP posts:
strawberrymilkshake123 · 16/02/2022 21:17

OP could you get a "positive lateral flow test," on the morning , therefore telling work you have to isolate ?

Are you in the U.K or abroad ?

whattodo2019 · 16/02/2022 21:28

Have the termination and get a coil fitted. I agree, say you have a positive LFT so you can't go to the dinner.
What ever you decide, good luck. Please get some support and advice though. You sound so lovely x

strawberrycheesecake1989 · 16/02/2022 21:29

Hope you’re ok xx

pollygartertidywife · 16/02/2022 21:37

If anyone asks you have had an 'abnormal smear ' and need a 'further procedure' ... that will be enough to put your DH off ... !!

pollygartertidywife · 16/02/2022 21:38

Hey the coil inserted when you have the termination !!

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