Medical abortion - 6/7 weeks

[mae9075]

Hi all. I have been looking on these threads since Monday when I found out I was pregnant with our third baby which was unplanned and unexpected. I have a 2 year old DS and a 5 nearly 6 month old DD. My partner has said we can not financially afford this baby and I do understand that in the current climate we are in. However I am so upset and devastated that I need to have a medical termination, if we had the money I’d keep this baby. I am so upset. I have a telephone appointment with MSI on the 25th of the month, how long do I have to wait to get the pills after that? Has anyone else gone with them. BPAS had a 4 week wait to get a telephone appointment.

I’d love to hear from others who have been in the same position as me x

Not to sound harsh but why does your partners choice mean this is what is going to happen?
You probably know there’s no additional benefits you’d get for a 3rd child. But have you discussed how you’d manage if you went ahead and had the baby?
Hand me downs
Same school so uniforms could be handed down
Toys are shared

In the current

It is, of course, you decision but the reason of my partner says we can’t afford another isn’t what I read from your point of view

You have to 100% certain that the decision to terminate os what you 100% want.

I know, from my own experience that the regret stays if your having the termination because of someone else.

@JustMsInvisible Hi. My partner is the earner for our family, I’m lucky to be a SAHM and he’s self employed. He works 7 days a week, every week, with 1 Sunday off a month. I don’t see him that much as it is, he physically can’t work anymore so when he says it can’t financially happen I need to understand that. I could go back to work but then I’d be paying out in childcare fees so he rather I be at home with the children, which I’d rather too. He also just has never wanted a third child, I knew this when we had our 1st two years ago.
If this didn’t happen by accident, it definitely wouldn’t have been in our plans. However now it’s happened, I do feel sad that I mostly likely will be having to have a termination.

If money was no object and perhaps were older (maybe), it’d be different. I’m 24 and he’s 23, I got pregnant with my first at 21.
It’s a hard thing to think of, I was just seeing how others have felt about an unexpected baby and the decision they chose.

Hi I’m sorry your going through this hard situation aswell .. I no how you feel but I’m pregnant with baby number 7 my husband is the only one who works and he works so much as it is and he can’t do any more we don’t get benefits only child benefits as he earns to much but not enough of that makes sense 😂, I’m around 7 weeks pregnant and I haven’t even rang a clinic yet and I’m to scared to. I don’t know what I want to do if I’m honest . He’s saying we can’t afford another baby or even have the space for another child.. we didn’t want any more then the 6 we have. I am on the pill and I fall pregnant ! I’m so sad and down as it’s such a hard situation to be in. Me and my husband haven’t even spoke about it since last week I said il ring the clinic this week and I haven’t …. I just so lost :( I’m sorry I can’t help you.

@Anonymous1987 hi. I’m sorry you’re in this position too, the longer it goes on the more attached I feel to this baby. I don’t know how I’ll be able to go through with it as I’m the one who wants to keep the baby and he doesn’t. How are you feeling today?

Hi hope ur ok.. it’s hard isn’t it I really need to speak up and talk to my husband about it as il
Be 8 weeks next week and i just don’t think I can go through with it.. I so scared of having another baby though even tho I got 6 kids already I don’t know I just feel il be judge for having another one to as I “have so many” already. I’m just scared … we got all my sons baby stuff still so none of that would be a problem and toys ect I can hand down even some clothes as they hardly wear them 😂. I would need a bigger car though. Even though iv had 6 kids already I googled scan imagines at 8 weeks :( and I think can I do it at this stage. Then I get all panicking and think but can I have another child! But then I think what is one more really! ( keep saying to my self il get the copper coil after birth so definitely no more after this one) I’m so lost tho as I have no one to talk to and my husband hasn’t spoke about it but I think he knows deep down that We probably wont have an abortion as I was bleeding the other day and I cried and got so upset thinking I was having a miscarry and he said to me you obviously wanted to keep it why didn’t you talk to me… but i only had bleeding when I wiped I took another test and it came up positive before the control
Line and it’s very dark I didn’t have any clots or anything so I don’t think it was a miscarry but I haven’t seen anyone as in my mind don’t think about it and it ain’t happening. But it clearly is . I really don’t know what to do… if we do decided to keep it I do know I’m not telling anyone till baby is here ( family live quite far away luckily ) as I don’t want the judgemental comments … I’m sorry iv just babbled on and most probably not made much sense .. x

I was in your situation a few months ago. Surprise number 3 and it really hit me hard.
We decided for all very practical reasons (money, space, small car) that a termination would be best.
I think the whole process took 3 weeks from the first phone call to being given the pills.
I was 8 weeks and 4 days when I terminated (I didn't want to be that far along but that is how long it took).
However, unfortunately my world came crashing down after this and I needed to use the counselling sessions to help me.

It is a decision that you cannot go back on. I am very pro choice and know others who's terminations were nothing but a relief. Unfortunately I had the opposite feeling.

I think what I failed to see was what the baby would have given my family, I just thought of everything it would take away and affect our quality of life.

It is a really tough situation to be in and decision to make.

I wish you luck and hope you look after yourself.

X

If you want this baby, then have it. Your husband might need to work smarter rather than harder.

Hi OP I was in this situation

Unplanned pregnancy

Partner said didn't want it.

I looking into bpas and had my first appt then a counselling appt. I couldn't proceed with the appt any further than that because I wasn't sure what would happen if I kept it but I knew if I terminated I would regret it for the rest of my life - due dates / anniversary's, my older children would remind me and I would always think what if. Then my partner reminded me that our booking in with last baby the midwife had told him that you never regret the babies you have and that had stayed with him .... so we are now 19 weeks Pregnant. It's not been easy and I'm still wobbly but it's happening.

Hi
I’m so sorry with how you are feeling now :( I wish I could hug you.. I’m pro choice and I have had a termination years and years ago and I was upset but I knew it was for the best and it was “easy” to ring and book ect as I knew it was what I wanted .. this time I can’t even bring my self to ring. I need to talk to my husband. Now worrying if it taking 3 weeks to get an appointment I will be 11 weeks :( … we all think about the negative when we are in this situation we was the same when we fall for our 5th we didn’t have the room the money the car space ect but we kept her and we went on to have another 🙈 but this time it’s baby number 7 I was on the pill and we said no more after our last . Sorry I always go on and don’t make much sense

If you really want this baby no way should you have this abortion. You could be setting yourself up for a whole lifetime of regret and what ifs.

@treetop122 sorry you feel like this. I feel like it too at the moment. Same situation, surprise third, practical reasons drove me to an abortion although also some concerns about my age.

Now I realise that I just looked at pros and cons on the face of them and didn't spend any time trying to problem solve the cons and I so regret that. Maybe I'd have come to the same conclusion but at least it would have meant I could rationalise my post abortion feelings more.

I'm doing my best to not analyse my cons now as it could just spiral.

Hope you're doing ok.

Hi op
I thought this with my third but everything is pretty much passed down toys an clothes etc, an you always do more food then needed so never found that an issue either !
But
I fell pregnant just after my 2 oldest children had a devastating diagnosis and I did go down the path of a termination as I mentally couldn't face it and the prospect of another child with the same diagnosis and condition killed me. I had the phone call monday an had the tablets within a few days. It wasn't as bad as I thought but it wasn't nice and didn't feel nice either. But for me at the time the pregnancy wasn't right so I knew from the get go.

But Iv just found out I'm pregnant. Very very early but now I don't know what to do. Only my Oh knows an I don't know who to turn to who will understand an not judge me.
I can have the baby tested at 11 weeks for the same condition as my oldest 2 but theirs a big possibility it's positive to, they have a terminal illness that doesn't see them live past late childhood, it's horrible. My heads a mess in all honesty
But all's I'll say is, don't do what your told or youl regret that, do what is best for you. A third child doesn't make much financial difference x