Abortion

[jojodan]

Hi all,iam in a real dilemma at the minute,iam 38 and my partner 43,we have between us 6,2 of them are together,2 years ago I had a miscarriage and was absolutely gutted,it lasted for around 6 weeks aswel as it just wasn't coming away,few months after that I got caught again and again I miscarriaged around the same week(6) weeks,after that I got caught again after thinking I can't go through all that again but I did as I wanted a baby again,pregnancy went so smoothly and now have a fit and healthy 14 month old boy who is the best baby iv ever known,iv just recently found out I'm pregnant again,I feel absolutely gutted as I don't know if I want it or not but feel so guilty due to loosing baby's and been so depressed for months after and now I'm thinking of termination,I have a appointment on Friday at hospital to go through it all but I can't stop crying about it,I don't want a baby but feel guilty after wanting baby's for so long and loosing them now I'm wanting to get rid of one,has anyone else felt like this,iam also considering been sterilised at the same time but not sure if they do it as I can't keep feeling like this,it wasn't a planned pregnancy and I was on the pill which I took everyday but still got caught,I don't want anymore children now I just want to know if anyone else been in my shoes and had this awful guilt feeling but no it's the right decision

Sounds like you're having a really tough time with this! Hugs to you.

Apologies for the comment but it also sounds to me like you're torn about this, which is understandable. There are some really good support options out there, I can PM these to you if you like???

Hi thank you for replying,yes that would be amazing if you could please as finding this so hard x

OK have PMd you

Hi all,just to update you all but first I'd like to say thank you for all your kind words all of you it truly did mean a lot,so I went to hospital today to book for termination next week,I was cryin sat in the waiting area got called through got weighed etc then got sent for a scan,they scanned me where pregnant ladies go,so I'm sat in floods of tears with happy pregnant mummy's and pics all over the walls of babies,I messaged my partner and told him where I was and he was disqusted,you would think they would separate that bit but don't,anyway I got called through and laid and had my scan which took a minute of that,I asked if it was viable and how far on I was and she said yes it's viable and iam 6 weeks 6 days,so got sent back to waiting area to speak to midwife now we knew how far on I was,inbetween that I text my partner telling him how distraught I was he couldn't come had to go on my own as partners not allowed still,he said he couldn't do this and said come home we will keep it,so I was asking if that's what he really wanted and he said yes coz he can see how much it was killing me which was killing him aswel,so I went back into the room and told them we are now keeping the baby,I can't believe how close I came to doing to but i just couldn't handle the guilt,especially noing there was a heartbeat now aswel,so I will soon be the proud mummy of 5

Well done! And yes, you are going to be a super proud mummy of 5!!!!