unsure

[Ksc39]

Hi all,

I've currently got 2 children and pregnant with the third, Me and children's dad aren't together it's been an on and off quite toxic situation for over 18 months. I didn't initially want to keep the third baby it was a very irresponsible mistake, but I don't know if I can bring myself to terminate the pregnancy. Dad is absolutely not ready for another yet and says in a year or two but I don't want any more children in a year or two if I don't go through with this pregnancy I will not have any more and it's highly likely our relationship will end too, as tbh I've just had enough. He's not the most supportive partner when we're actually together, he's been unfaithful numerous times etc etc.

everyone around me thinks baby No3 is a terrible idea and that I won't manage and I'll be unhappy and depressed with no support and that I should really be considering the 2 I already have which I am trying to do. If I'm being completely honest I didn't want a third child at all, and untill today (I had an early scan due to previous ectopic) I was
leaving more towards said termination, my relationship is beyong unstable I'm currently studying and applying for volunteer roles to get a better job etc. I have no idea what to do, and I feel like noone understands how hard this decision is to make and I suppose I just needed to vent somewhere impartial.

I feel like I kind of blame my children's dad for not being so supportive, if I could actually rely on him to do his fair share an abortion would be out of the question, but it's a decision I'm trying to make based on being a single mother to three and I just don't know if I'm capable 😔

Sorry to hear you are going through this OP. It's really only a decision you can make. Make a list of pros and cons and then try and listen to your gut.

I had termination on Sunday and really battled with the decision but once Gave myself time I knew what was right for me and my family.

Hi OP. I hope you're feeling a bit less conflicted now. Have you considered having some counselling before you decide? I think most of the abortion providers do offer it.

Your post stood out to me as I was in a similar situation in the summer (3rd pregnancy, horribly unsupportive father).

Honestly there is no right answer and it's very hard for people with a supportive partner to understand the turmoil. But you need to make the decision on the assumption that your children's dad won't suddenly change.

I always assumed I would never choose termination. And I do feel terribly guilty and sad even 7 months later, I don't know if that will ever stop. But small things have happened since that have helped me see the positives to my decision. For example my eldest has signed up for a new club at school today. I could just about pay for it and she's absolutely delighted. I also took both DDs on a little beach holiday on my own in the summer. I genuinely couldn't have coped doing that with three.

I love my children so much and want them to have a happy childhood and opportunities to try new things. One where their Mum is not running on empty and stretched both for time and money.

But only you know how a third would impact you and your family. Do you have family support locally? Will their Dad be generous with their financial support? These things could really make a difference.

Good luck with your decision. It's ok to acknowledge there is no right answer and choose the least bad option if that makes sense x