I cant enjoy my Pregnancy 😔

[HappyKatexxx]

Please no judgement or nasty comments, but this guilt is eating me alive worried. Im having sleepless nights, constantly worrying and over thinking plus Im suffering with pre natal depression. I just cant enjoy my pregnancy.

I am 25 weeks pregnant, but I made a huge mistake. My partner and I had serperated. Things wasn't great at the time and he ended things. I was careless with my pill as I wasn't having sex. I would take be so forgetful and take one when I remembered. My head was all over and I was so upset.

My friend and I went out to a club and I seen a guy there I use to go to school with. We talked all night, he bought drinks, he complemented me and actually made me feel like the most beautiful person ever (my ex partner at the time had not made me feel like that due to his selfishness). He ended up coming back with us to my friends for more drinks and one thing started leading to another. We started to have sex but we both had alot to drink. I think it was for about 60 seconds and We stopped as it was awkward and embarrassing and we knew it wasn't right. He couldn't get an erection properly and he didn't finish. Not even nearly as we stopped. This was early hours of the 01/08.

My partner had got back in contact the day after which I ignored him. He pestered and pestered to see me so, I let him over on the 03/08 to discuss things. One thing led to another and we slept together. Again on the 4th and 5th . Obviously we got back together. He knew that I'd spent time with someone else. But not the full details.

23rd of August.. I found out im pregnant. I took 2 clear blues 23rd and 24th that both say I was pregnant 1-2 weeks. My period tracker said my ovulation date was 8th of August and the first day of my previous period was the 25th of July. My periods are usually 28 days.

I didn't think anything of it untill recently. Do you think my old school friend has any chance of being this baby's father?. I spoke to him about the situtaion and he said not to worry, its definatly not his. He didn't/ couldn't finish and was that drunk he couldn't get hard properly but that doesn't reassure me. Ive read loads of things online. Its driving me crazy. I was willing to pay £800 for a pre natal dna (safe way through blood tests) but he wasn't prepared to do it as he was so certain. Im so frightened and dont know what to do. I feel so guilty. My partner would be so broken.

I had 2 private scans. One at roughly 7 weeks and 1 day which said my due date was 05/05 and one at 10 weeks and 4 days which said my due date was 03/05. Then according to my midwife my due date was 02/05 from the first day of my last period. My NHS 12 week scan moved my due date foward agian too 29/04 as it would mean I ovulate around the 6th of aug which means it would be in the same week when I slept with them. I know its my own stupid fault. My close friends who know has said there is no way, but my mind just cant rest. What should I do mums 😪 x

Im a

Just take his word, he is certain, if your happy with your partner then keep going ❤️ think of your little one growing and If you think your partner will be an amazing dad then just flow and grow your family ❤️ be happy you will miss it when it's over x

Thankyou Iysh for your kind response and not being judgemental about the situtaion! I hope your well. I know, I need to be, Reading stuff online about pre cum people can get pregnant ect and it freaked me out so badly! But honestly I cant even that happening because we stopped, he couldn't get a full erection and no where near finishing it was literally a minute. But I Thats why I was willing to pay 800 pound for a pre natal dna test to put my mind at rest. I think the guilt of just not telling him the full details and it is eating away at me. Yes your right! I do need to think about the baby and be happy. Its just im such an over thinker and bad worrier who has the worst luck!! I just keep thinking about ❤ xxx

OP you poor thing, what a stressful situation. Google is not your friend in these situations!!! Highly unlikely this guy could be the father given all you've said.

Marlena1, its been awful! I can agree with you there. Its my own fault for putting myself in this situation but daft decisions can be made when alcohol is involved and your angry and upset! Thankyou, that does make me feel a little better xxx

It does sound unlikely that your friend is the father, but if you want to be certain why can’t you do the prenatal DNA test anyway? Could you do it with your partner’s DNA instead of your friend’s?

If you’ve mentioned paternity issues to your friend, is there definitely no chance of him mentioning anything to your partner?

I would try and do whatever you can to resolve things, as it’s sad for it to prevent you enjoying your pregnancy, which should be a special time.

Don’t beat yourself up. People make mistakes, and get themselves into situations that aren’t ideal. You’re not the first.

Sounds to me like you are being way too harsh on yourself.

@Derbee , although its very unlikely it still niggles away from me as I over think it so much and worry so much. I'd never want to cause heart ache for my partner or his family 😔. My partner doesn't know that my old friend and I actually had intercourse when the relationship ended. It was heartbreaking enough for him to know there had been someone else. I should of been honest and maybe wouldn't feel as guilty so I couldn't get a paternity test from my partners dna. He wouldn't say anything to my partner as he doesn't know him and he's not from our area and also I dont see him much at all with him being an old school friend. Plus he says he is 100% that he's not the father

Im just trying to push it at the back of my mind for now untill she's here and enjoy the pregnancy as much as I can. I dont want to open a can of worms I may not need to open but at the same time I want that reassurance. It is a shame, my partners excited and im like a miserable bitch! Not because of my baby girl, but the situation.

Thankyou so so much for your response x x

@duvetdayforeveryone do you think so 😔?

@duvetdayforeveryone what would you do in my position? Xx

Note, I'm not a very moral person so my advice might actually be terrible.

I'd take it to my grave. Never tell anyone ever again. In time you will forget. Focus on enjoying your baby and your partner.

Throw yourself into an arts and craft project. Knit a hat or a cardigan for the baby. Paint a canvas with the baby's name to put over the cot.

If he's 100% sure, why would he object to you doing a test? Surely he can just give you whatever you need to do the test (blood sample I guess?) and it makes no difference to him?
I'd try and persuade him, you need the peace of mind.

Just going to give you facts here.

• Day 1 of period was 25th July
• Sex on 1st August is 7 days later.
• You have a regular 28 day cycle.

It just can't be the first guy. Not only because of the lack of performance but also because you would have been infertile at that point of the month.

Ovulation occurs 12-15 days after day 1 of your period. 7 days is just too soon.

Your fertile window lasts for 5 days. Sperm can survive at absolute best 5 days - but this is actually quite rare, it's usually more like 2-3 days, there has to be an egg just round the corner to get pregnant.

If you ovulated any time around the 8th - it would be the sperm from 5th that got you pregnant. The sperm from 1st (if there even was any - doesn't sound like there was - would have died). It's quite a surprise that you would even get pregnant from the sperm on 5th! Shows he had excellent swimmers! But beyond that date it just couldn't be.

This clearly squares it with it being the 2nd guy, who also was able to perform as being the Daddy.

Also - women have been using the withdraw method as a form of contraception since the beginning of time. The fact this guy didn't even finish - it's just not him.

Hope that helps!

@duvetdayforeveryone, honestly my closest friend who knows about the situtaion has said exactly the same! Thankyou. Im just going to concentrate on trying to get things ready. Thankyou x

@notajogger, hes now back with his ex gf who is not a nice person at all. Shes not very understanding and would probably hit the roof. Hes just being a selfish twat really. Exactly just a sample and some paper work to sign! X

@Kinko, thankyou for that! I do feel slightly better. Its because when I explained to the midwife my situation she did say its possible but very unlikely and it made me panic and reading things online also about pre cum!! . According to my 12 week scan I concieved on the 6th of August which freaked me out.

My periods have been regular the past few months of 28 days (i think). But like you said its very unlikely sperm was to last 5 days and we don't even think there was any sperm because he didn't finish! I just need to get it out of my mind dont I. Me and my partner did have sex a few times that week leading up to the 6th.

Thankyou for your response, I do feel better x x

So that all fits. You ovulated on 6th and had sex 4th and 5th.

From the 1st - the sperm, in the very unlikely event there was actually any, would have died.

Like I say - they tell ppl 5 days - but it's so rare sperm would survive that long and still be able to get someone pregnant. If you look at any trying to conceive threads ppl are having sex on the day or day before they ovulate.

If you have an hour to spare there's a documentary called the Great Sperm Race on Channel 4. You can find it on YouTube. It goes through just how difficult it is in factual detail.

Please don't worry.xx

@Kinko. Thankyou!! Honestly, you have made me feel a ton better!! I will definitely give it a watch in my free time. I can now enjoy my pregnancy a little better thanks to you you ladies. I really appreciate it xxd