Abortion for mental health.

[Lost12330]

Please be kind as I'm really going through it at the moment. I'm 7 weeks pregnant with a wanted baby. I have 2 children, a DS3 and DD 7 months. I've suffered with PND with both. This time not happening until about 2 months ago. Now for the last few weeks I've had severe anxiety. My heart feels like its constantly racing all the time. I'm panicking non stop and have never felt so ill. I haven't left the house in weeks and my husband had to take a week off work to look after the children. After this is up I'm moving in with my family. I've been given sertraline which initially made me feel worse. I'm only 4 days in. I can't see any way out of feeling like this. I cannot cope with the children I have, let alone another. I've always been certain I'd never have an abortion, I'm pro choice for others but would never have considered it myself in a right mind. I just want to feel normal again. I feel like its selfish to bring a baby into the world while I'm so mentally unwell. At the same time I feel like I will regret it. I just don't know what to do.

I'm going to be coldly rational here, so please take it as intended, which is to counter balance the emotional response.
If you are really struggling with your mental health and you have two small children who are already likely to be impacted, then having another baby is not in their or your interests.
When you say wanted baby does that mean unplanned but wanted, or planned? If you planned it, when you have a 7 month old, that was not a good decision. If unplanned, these things happen, but you need to make the decision for you and your existing children, not for a child who doesn't really exist yet (as a person with needs etc)

"I cannot cope with the children I have let alone another one."

You need to make the wisest decision for yourself and your children and partner.

Maybe you were against termination, and maybe now you see that sometimes it is a valid choice.

Three under 5 will be very challenging. For anyone.

Lots and lots of terminations happen; it might not be what you wanted when you planned the baby, but you are allowed to make the best choice.

Have you had counselling..
There are various services that will offer this over the phone to help you make the right decision.

Unplanned as I had a coil fitted incorrectly as it now seems. But wanted as in we always wanted three children.

Am I also right in thinking that if I want a surgical under general anaesthetic then I will likely have to go private?

No, I had a surgical under GA on the NHS.

Sorry that you are feeling this way. Did you have any support post partum previously? It may be worth asking for a referral to your local perinatal mental heath team as there is a lot of work that can be done in terms of therapy. I am firmly of the belief that medication alone is not a quick fix for these type of things.

Its a huge decision to make and one not to make lightly at all. I hope you feel better soon.

I felt awful awful on sertraline and it caused lots of cardiac issues like palpitations and tachycardia (racing heart). I was admitted to the cardiac unit until we worked out it was sertraline. Switched medication and immediately felt better.

I also feel like everything is impossible and disastrous and that I’m useless and can’t cope when depressed.

You may want to consider changing medication and waiting a couple of weeks before making such a huge decision. But there is nothing wrong in deciding either way