The moment i found out I was pregnant I knew this is not the time to have a baby. Ive recently split from my partner and we allready have a 1 year old son. Im just learning to cope beeing a single mum to my little boy, throwing annother into the mix would not be fair on him, me or my ex. Theres no way me and my ex would get back together, he distroyed the relationship with his actions.
At the same time that I feel like this is the right decison for me and my son, I feel guilt that im not giving him a sibling close in age like I had growing up, like im taking him having a close sibling bond away from him and he would hate me if he ever found out.
Ive not spoke to anyone about the abortion, my ex is the only person that knows,I feel like if i told anybody they would judge me. My mum is completley against abortions so would probably disown me if she found out. My bestfriend lives 45 minuets away and I planned to go see her today and hopefully bring myself to tell her as she has been open to me about having an abortion many years ago when the time was not right but she cancelled as she wasant feeling too well. I instead met a friend today who made me feel so shit (not intentonally) telling me that shes struggling to fall pregnant and she also made a coment to me saying if your done with 'ex' dont go sleeping with him when he comes round to see my son as you know what will happen your fall pregnant and get back with him, i wanted the world to swallow me up at that point, i instantly felt sick but brushed it off and changed the subject.
Im having to wait a week for the first telephone appointment. I just want it done and out the way, i feel so poorly with morning sickness, im struggling to look after my son and get on with everyday things whilst trying to hide it