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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Medical Abortion Consultation Tomorrow

10 replies

Coldblueskies11 · 22/11/2021 12:24

Hello,

I am currently pregnant with my 3rd child. Me and my partner have spoken about a 3rd child in the future and both decided that when the timing was right we would try for a third. However we were very silly one night in October and I've fallen pregnant. I feel really conflicted about my feelings and I can't seem to understand them, I picture myself meeting my baby and its not like I don't want him and her but I don't feel ready. Abortion feels me with dread and I've been distraught at the idea of taking the first tablet. I had a terrible pregnancy with my 2nd child and I found his whole pregnancy and birthing experience really haunting. I also had post natal depression with my second and his new-born days really upset me when I think about it. So when I think about this new baby that's all that comes to mind for me. I do not like pregnancy and I would say they have not been the most happiest times of my life but when I've met my babies nothing in the world has ever mattered more to me.
I think its safe to say I'm incredibly scared to have this baby but also incredibly scared of deciding to end its life because all i think is over what exactly and what a waste of its life. I'm also pro-choice for abortion those feelings are just personal to myself. However the timing is so bad and I just don't feel ready, but I seem angry at myself for not being ready and maybe now reality is set in I never really was ready and may not have been for a 3rd child. Life is also very neat and tidy with 2 and everything just works, but I don't know how I will live with the what if's knowing what they turn into and can be, something i've never regretted.

I must also mention I had HG with my son, so bad. This is probably the 1st most frightening thing in keeping this baby about having it again.

thanks

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durdledoo · 22/11/2021 19:18

Feeling similar. How far along do you think you are? Make sure you take the time you need to truly consider your options.
You're not alone Daffodil

Coldblueskies11 · 22/11/2021 19:30

I think I'm around 5 weeks on the way to 6 I'm not 100% but definitely around the 5 week mark. How about you? Yes I am thinking, I think I'm going to delay the pills x

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durdledoo · 22/11/2021 19:36

You've got time to consider then. So much weighing up to do. I've got my telephone consultation tomorrow too and figured they can send the pills and I can decide and start least I've got them.
I'm about 4 weeks. It's just such a shame to even need to make the decision isn't it but whatever decision we make it will be what we felt was best.

Coldblueskies11 · 22/11/2021 19:55

Yes that's exactly the same as what I am thinking, like you said least we have them. I feel that when it comes to it I will probably decide then. Much like you I flit between imagine how things could me and then my life as it is. I'm sure we will work out what is the best thing to do. I hope you get on OK tomorrow too.

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Coldblueskies11 · 23/11/2021 10:30

I don't know if it's of any help to you but I found a crisis pregnancy place near me that help people talk through their decisions. I'm going in to see a lady from there tomorrow. She gave me a bit of tip though in helping my decision and she said often in logical situations we go with our mind but in life or death situations we go with our heart. This may be of some support for you.

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durdledoo · 23/11/2021 11:25

@Coldblueskies11 thank you. I may take a look into this. I'm definitely in a logical place right now which leans towards a termination.
Just got off the phone to msi who's booked my nurses call in for tomorrow.
I hope you're as okay as you can be and find speaking to someone helps

Coldblueskies11 · 23/11/2021 11:31

Okay and that is absolutely okay. I hope your call goes as well as it can. Take lots of care of yourself 💜

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Hadenough21 · 23/11/2021 11:45

I have been in this position before and I ended up terminating. Initially I was relieved and just wanted to move on but a few months later it sort of hit me and I had a very difficult year then working through it. I had counselling and eventually came out the other side after a lot of pain. This doesn’t mean it’s that way for everyone at all, I’m just telling you my experience. I had always wanted a third but it wasn’t planned and it felt too soon. I panicked and hormones sent me a bit haywire. I just wanted to rewind time. It’s such a hard place to be and I really sympathise. The only advice I have is to talk it through with a counsellor BEFORE acting, I didn’t do that.

I’m now (3 years later) pregnant again and although it was planned I did have a few panicky moments in the early weeks where I thought oh god what have I done (hormones, nausea, generally feeling terrible) but I talked myself down and recognised it was just panic about change and am really happy now. These feelings can be totally natural in planned pregnancies never mind unplanned.

There’s no right or wrong answer, take your time and talk it over as much as you need Flowers

Lilymac26 · 24/11/2021 15:02

Hi lovely, sorry you have found yourself in this situation of not knowing. I am in exactly the same place. Can I ask, did you arrange the consultation online or via phone? Just wondering as I filled in a form this morning and wondering how long the whole procedure usually takes as I've read some women have waited weeks.

I know for me the timing is completely wrong, and we'd struggle financially. We've said for 7 years now we don't want any more children but now that I find myself here I'm questioning everything.

Sending lots of love

Coldblueskies11 · 24/11/2021 15:17

Hey, I'm sorry to hear you are going through the same thing. It is a really difficult all round. I went through BPAS where I completed the form online. I'd say I waited 10 days for my telephone consultation so not too long. Sending lots of love for you too. 💗

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