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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Types of TFMR

5 replies

missmarie85 · 29/10/2021 18:09

After combined screening, NIPT and now CVS brought bad news, I am now facing the unbearable agony of a TFMR. I will be around 15 weeks pregnant when it happens. I have been offered medical or surgical, and I don't know how to even begin to choose. Is there anyone out there who's made this heart-rending decision at a similar stage of pregnancy and can tell me how on earth they worked out which option to take? The genetic counsellor made it sound like it's just a difference between being awake or asleep, but it feels like so much more than that. I don't know how to make this decision. I don't want either of them; I just want my baby.

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stalkersaga · 29/10/2021 18:14

I had a surgical TFMR. It was very quick and straightforward and felt no worse than a little weird.

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marajade12 · 29/10/2021 18:29

I am so sorry op, thoughts with you at this difficult time.
I had a TFMR at 18 weeks and had a medical termination, surgical wasn’t offered for me.
The hospital where I had it had a special private room away from the delivery suite. My partner was able to stay too. I had a tablet at home and then went in two days later for a pessiary. The contractions were quite strong but not too bad. They gave me morphine for pain relief. I ended up staying overnight as a precaution as I was bleeding quite heavily. Recovery took about two weeks, I was up and about straight away and had bleeding similar to a heavy period for those two weeks.I remember being very scared myself of what to expect but it wasn’t too bad in the end. I got to see and hold my baby afterwards, not sure you can do this with surgical option.
Best of luck with whatever you decide to do. Happy to answer any questions too.

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mrsawhite · 29/10/2021 18:34

Sorry to hear this. We had to have a tfmr in June because of pataus. No option of surgical. But we were very well looked after. Any pain relief was an option. Was home by 4pm. It's awful. But you get through it x

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mrsawhite · 29/10/2021 18:35

Meant to also say was 16 weeks x

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DoraDont · 31/10/2021 18:47

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it is the shittest decision to have to make.

I was in the same position due to Pataus/T13 a few years ago. I opted for surgical as I’d had two previous ERPCs (one only a few months previously) with local anaesthetic and they were painful and traumatic and I just needed it to be over.

I don’t regret it as such, but I do feel a little regretful that I was too scared to go through medical.

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