Does it get easier ?

[Rose925]

Me … again !
I’m now 6 weeks post procedure and I’m struggling more and more .
I’ve had multiple hospital appointments for my daughter this week and the department she was going to was next to the maternity ward so I was constantly having pregnant people thrown in my face constantly . And the fact I would of been 12 weeeks and would of been due up that hospital this week for my first scan just makes me ten times more agonising .
My heart aches and hurts every time I think about it . Talking doesn’t help , therapy doesn’t help . I just honestly don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel . And In a weird way I don’t want there to be as I feel I don’t deserve to be happy and living my life as I used to

I'm sorry you're still struggling.

Who have you spoken to about how you feel? Therapy can take time, but you do deserve to be happy and to live life like before.

I’ve had therapy for years but it isn’t helping me with this at all just makes it worse . I wish it didn’t but I feel like I’m wasting money on nothing x

it will get easier in time.

Hi @Rose925

How are you feeling today? Im sorry to read that you are struggling. I feel you.
I am now 2 & 1/2 months on and i can say that it does get better with time. Most days i am ok with my decision and some days the sadness and pain hits me. And thats okay.
I find that allowing myself to sit in the grief and hold space for those feelings at the time, really helps. Yes, it hurts and it feels awful, but i need to feel them if im ever going to heal from it.
For me its just a part of the process, but i know i can not sit in that spot forever.
I hope you can be kind to yourself today. Know that you are a good person who went through a difficult time and deserve peace from your trauma.
Sending you love and light today xx

Have a look at ‘Stillwaters’.
It helped me massively. I can’t recommend it enough. It got me through a very difficult time. They are an organisation who help women in crisis with pregnancy, miscarriage or abortion. They offer counselling - which is free.

Just google search ‘Stillwaters Birmingham’. Please at least look at their website.

xx

Hey Rose, we buddied up for our procedures and I regret mine too. :( my partner didn't want the baby, but I did. And was going to. But when my landlord decided to sell the house I panicked and terminated. Now I'm settled in a new house I am struggling very much. Two of my closest and oldest friends are pregnant and whilst I'm over the moon for them, it just reminds me of what I have lost. My precious little baby.

I had a termination once before and didn't regret that at all. But this one I very deeply and bitterly regret. I'm only checking these boards now because I'm laid in bed mourning my baba. Xxx