Advice on dealing with abortion

[WingingP]

Looking for advice from people who have been through the same thing.

I've just taken my second round of at home abortion pills and am so worried about the pain. It's been such a horrible decision to make but I know it's the right one. I had a baby 5 months ago and still don't feel fully mentally recovered from that so adding another baby to the mix would only make it worse. I need to be the best mum I can be for my son.

Anyway, any advice on coping with the pain and any idea how long the worst of it normally lasts? I'm a bit of a wimp and have a major phobia of throwing up.

Bless you. Sending you a hug. What a time
for you.

I’d hunker down with someone looking after your baby. I camped out in the bathroom.

Ran a bath. Was in and out of the warm water. I paced around. Took paracetamol.

It is so individual to how you will be. I found it very painful. Vomited and had diarrhoea. This isn’t what everyone gets and some almost have mild period pains only and are able to be laying in bed watching tv.

I didn’t bleed all that much and it took nearly 4 hours. Had to change my sanity towel a couple of times.
After this time I felt much better. Put a towel down in my bed and slept over that. I slept well and was so much better physically in the morning. Just like a light period for a few days. Some women have a much heavier bleed. All depends.

Be kind to yourself. Take some pain relief before and perhaps a hot water bottle to hand.xxx

How are you doing OP? It’s such an emotional rollercoaster and I felt this same, terrified of what was to come but also wondering if I’d made the right decision.

I wasn’t sick. In fact the pain was fairly manageable for the first couple of hours and nothing really happened until nearly 4 when I was worrying if I’d need to take another tablet. I kept pain at bay with Nurofen plus.
At about the 4 hour make the bleeding stepped up, I felt what I’d describe as early labour pains in my back and tummy and then had a strange popping sensation.
After that the bleeding got heavier. I slept on a towel and continued to sit on one ghe next day. I woke up
With a sense of relief and although the bleeding was quite heavy, the pain was manageable.
I’m here if you want to message me. I found lots of support here and it really helped. Lots of love

Thanks for the advice! My partner looked after baby last night and also went and got me lots of snacks once the baby was down for bed.

I got myself a hot water bottle and plenty of painkillers and the worst pain only lasted about 4 hours. I'm still in pain this morning but none of the pain has been as bad as I was expecting. Thankfully the bleeding is just like a period now. I'm going to get some fresh air today and just take it easy.

Both me and my partner feel awful about this decision and I really do hate myself at the moment. I have been comparing it to killing my baby, I know it's not the same thing but I can't help feel terrible.

I have been there / probably still am there as it happened in the past year. Also an abortion in a circumstance I could not have anticipated. The mental aftermath has been surprisingly difficult and hard. I have really struggled with the decision, not so much before taking it (we acted under time pressure - bad news at the 20 week scan), but afterwards.

There are organisations you can call, if it becomes too much. I found it hugely helpful just to talk through my decision, and be reminded why it was in the best interest of the baby and our family to do so. We learn every life is precious and how we should protect our babies at all costs, really at any cost. It is easy to fall back in the 'I did something bad' narrative, while you had well thought out reasons for your decision. Due to the fact that mine was a termination for medical reasons I only know ARC (Antenatal Results and Choices - who I pretty much credit with keeping me sane). They may know who is best to contact for your situation (Tommy's midwives may do too). Otherwise, someone later on the thread may know.

Your provider Bpas /MSI/ NUPAS can provide post termination counselling , just give them a call
Be kind to yourself ,it takes time
💐