Has anyone terminated an unplanned third pregnancy and been okay?

[Pleasepod]

I am booked in for a termination on Saturday and need to take medication tomorrow morning in preparation. I have been very sure of my decision, although sad about it and have had some counselling etc.

I just read a thread full of people desperately sad after terminating a third pregnancy which has given me a real wobble as that’s my big fear, unbearable regret.

I wondered if there is anyone that has gone ahead with a termination and felt at peace with it afterwards and remains sure it was the right decision (however hard).

Thanks so much, I know it’s a hard subject to discuss

Yes, lots of people. Not specifically a third pregnancy, but I don't regret my decision. If you are clear, it's your decision, you've had counselling, you may feel very sad for a while (especially when the hormones crash afterwards) but it's very unlikely that you'll be crippled by regret.

The overwhelming majority of women who have a termination believe it was the right decision for them some years later and recover just fine.

Yes, I did recently, and I know I made the right choice. Of course there are moments when I wonder what life would have been like if I made a different decision, but I'm absolutely sure I made the right choice.

My 2nd pregnancy was unplanned and happened very shortly after my first child was born. It was a complete shock but I never considered termination, I always thought I would like to have at least 2 children so, although the timing wasn't the best, i just got on with it and it all worked out fine.

I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant with number 3 a few years later and I knew immediately I wanted to terminate. I never thought I'd be in that position, but unfortunately I was. I had a number of reasons, and I did what was right for me.

If I'm honest, I think the whole experience has made me appreciate my own two children even more. I know the strain of another child would have impacted my mental health and I now am more appreciative than ever of what I have if that makes sense.

Hi @Pleasepod,
It’ is impossible to say how you may feel afterwards but you have to do what you feel is best at the time.
Some women feel regret and real sadness and some never look back.
You’ve done what I think is helpful which is utilising counselling to try get a bit of clarity.

Take care.x

Yes I’ve been in that situation 5 years ago and I have no regrets at all. It was hard - more because of unknown process and some recovery time. I never doubted my decision - it was right for me. You do need to be kind to yourself for a little awhile after but I also felt overwhelming relief.

I think it’s really important to understand that not everyone regrets an abortion. Infact I felt such a sense of relief once it was done. Everyone is different just be kind to yourself x

Yes but mine was a fourth pregnancy which I did at home through BPAS.
It was entirely the right decision as my third was sooner than I wanted. I’m finally in the career I want, just progressed upwards so would affect that, got two going through speech therapy & one struggling with life after lockdowns.

The negatives massively outweighed the positives & I did decline the counselling offered.

I did struggle for 2 weeks after but I kept repeating in my head why I did it & now over a month on, I have no regrets. It was completely the wrong time & the effect too big on the family we have.

Hope you come to the right decision for you.

I'm in a similar situation. I've just found out expecting no 3, had a coil in and that had moved without my knowledge. From the moment I saw the pregnancy test I couldn't accept it. So many negative thoughts, panic attacks, can't eat, can't sleep. I have received counselling through BPAS who have been really good. I'm 6weeks but only 4 weeks past conception. Im booked in for a termination this Saturday. When they told me I felt relieved that this nightmare would soon be over. Then as the hours have progressed I'm now questioning my reasons. We have added issues of possible genetic issues (1 in 4) chances it would be passed down. I feel whatever decision I make it will be the wrong one. I just wish I was stronger to cope. I feel like my world is closing in on me over the last two weeks. I have two under 6 and just can't picture a third. But the mum guilt creeps in causes me to question our decision. My partner is supportive but it's not him going through the mental and physical changes.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s an awful feeling and so so hard to decide. I found BPAS really helpful, kind and respectful. I’m sending you strength and best wishes, wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone

Pleasepod how are you doing? I have been in your position. I do hope you are progressing well whichever decision you made.xxx