Regret after abortion

[Rose925]

I had a termination last Friday and I don’t know if it’s hormones but the emptiness I feel is just all too much to deal with , I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy or get on with my life . I feel like I deserve to just sit here and feel this pain , The guilt is riddling me .
I so desperately want another baby but I haven’t even got a partner anymore , and the thought Of pregnancy terrifies me . I feel like I’m losing my mind ! Has anyone else felt like this ?
I have a therapist but I haven’t found it to ge much help , that’s why I feel at such a loss as shes got me through a hell of a lot , but this is just killing me x

You need to remember why you have the abortion in the first place. Did you have time to make a proper decision before you went through with it?

@SudokuZebra I don’t believe in medication for depression , I’m bipolar and I’m un medicated. I believe in a more holistic approach to medicine .
As for my ex I’ve not heard a thing , in fact he’s blocked my number since he saw I removed him from my socials , I didn’t want to see him living his playboy lifestyle whilst I was suffering daily with this decision .
He’s still unaware of what i done , I need to remind myself he wouldn’t of approached the situation with kindness and support . Which is what my minds telling me ‘what if’
But alot of what ifs are going round my head right now x

@SudokuZebra I’m currently not under any care , and I dread to think of the waiting time . That’s why I pay private for my therapist .
That’s why I’m also sceptical whether to go for counselling after my abortion as that was private too so every added option or follow / check up is an extra cost .
Which I don’t mind but this will slowly rack up into thousands before I know it . I’ve not been working half as much as I’d like to be either because of everything that’s been going on so I don’t want to end up being in financial difficulty aswell to add to other stresses .

Yes I do feel relief since he’s been out of my life for sure, he was a down right narcissist plays the ‘family man’ front on social media . When in reality he abuses verbally his baby mothers . They are broken wonen from what I’ve heard , but of course they are ‘crazy’ in his eyes .
But any woman would be if they had a father like him swanning off for weeks on end on holidays , nights out constantly when it suits him. Don’t get me wrong he’s active in his children’s lives but to me that isn’t a reasonable ‘active ‘ I guess I’ve got to remind myself of this more often . As that would of been me xx