So undecided !

[Rose925]

I’ve got a termination this week and I’m finding myself more torn as the time goes on .
I’ve got a consult booked & paid for for tomorrow ( private ) and they send the pills by Wednesday .
I’ve started to develop morning sickness over the weekend and I’m starting to struggle woth it all feeling more real instead of just 2 lines on a stick .
I know I have to go through with the termination for many reasons but I still can’t help thinking that it’s my baby in there and I should be protecting him/her at all costs . I feel like an awful person

anyone??

Bumping for you

Do you have a DP you can talk to for support, or anyone else?

I too am going through a medical termination this week, I have my phone consultation this morning. I am dreading it and it has been a very emotional time, but I know it’s the right decision, being very early (3+2) makes it a bit more straightforward I guess.

Take care of yourself

@TashieWoo unfortunately not no , we split a week before I found out I was pregnant . He’s not a nice man at all , already 6 kids with 4 different women . I’d just be another number . As much as I’d want it I know I can’t .
I haven’t even told him which is eating me up . Just had my consult was over in 5 minutes as I’m private , pills arrive tomorrow

Coming in for a handhold.
I had a termination in March and I was dead set on my decision and although I think about what would have been, I don't regret it.
There's a lot of helplines you can talk to for advice or to just talk.
If you changed your mind, that's okay too, you don't need him.

@Rose925 I’m so sorry you don’t have your DP’s support, that must be very difficult. Can you talk to any close family or friends? I think you need to speak to someone, the clinic should have offered you counselling or there are other services if you look online? I’m getting my tablets on Friday and have counselling booked for Thursday.

Do you think it would help if you spoke to him at all, just to get it off your chest? In any case you sound better off without him though.

OP all I can say is that I strongly believe it isn't a good idea for someone as torn as you are to go ahead. When you are talking about your baby and wanting to protect it that tells me that you arent ok with your choice and that you feel you have to do it. Abortion is not there for women who don't want it, and it 100% isn't there to suit useless fathers. So I don't know if you're looking for reassurance or thoughts on what you should do but I think you should think more about this and why you're doing it.

Don't have an abortion you don't want just because the "father" makes you feel you have to. You don't have to abort a baby you want, and it seems like you do. No one here can tell you how you'll feel or make you do either. But if you don't feel ok with your choice now before it's even done then it's unlikely to be easy for you afterwards if you know yourself that you're only doing this because you think you have to do it.

@LifesNotEnidBlyton Thank you for your message, I appreciate everything above that has been said by being a single mother at 16 years old over 13 years ago has made me realise that I cannot and will not allow myself to be in that position again as much as I love my daughter, it was the hardest time of my life and I was very fortunate that my dad treats her like his own And literally has her whenever I need him to, that luxury will be taken away if I was to have another child and the fact that he is so absent with his other children he only is a dad when it suits him and plays up on social media that he is the doting great father. Also the abuse that I’ve heard him scream at his children’s mothers is nothing but despicable and I would just be another number another baby man to him, I’ve dreamt of having a family unit and I’ve promised myself the next time I get pregnant it will be for that but obviously mistakes happen and I’m in the position I am now.. I don’t want a baby out of a family unit x

What did you decide in the end? X

@Helpsurprise21 yea I had it 5 weeks ago , regret it immensely but I can’t change it x

I have one booked this week. Only found out yesterday - we have three kids already. I am so torn.

I hope you start to feel better about things soon

I have also gone private for speed and ease - who was yours through?

@Helpsurprise21
Ah I’m sorry you’re going through this , I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. I went the the gynae clinic in London. They were very good and not over bearing . I had consults with Marie stopes and they made me cry so much with all the questions and why I was doing it . Also the wait was far too long from them calling me the first time (assumed it was all in one conversation ) but I’d then have to wait an extra week on top of that . I had to on my moral grounds get it sorted before I was 6 weeks . So I went private , was so easy and the dr was so nice & wasn’t overbearing just asked what he needed the call was over in 5 minutes literally .
If anyone is fortunate enough to do the private option then to just do it that way . I hope it goes ok for you! How are you feeling ? Zx

@Rose925 oh wow I am so pleased I posted here as I have booked with same place and it’s so good to hear that as couldn’t find much info on them - I have my phone call Tuesday at 9.30. I couldn’t bear waiting and or being grilled. Did they send the tablets quickly? I know if I start feeling pregnant I will have doubts so I was keen to get it sorted quickly.

I know deep down it’s right but there is a tiny part of me that is questioning it but it’s not the right time, we have so much on our plates right
now.

@Helpsurprise21
Honestly it’s the one dr he’s an older male foreign so I couldn’t understand a lot ( probably better ) he’s very to the point . He only asks if you’re sure on your decision . Where as the NHS providers like bpas you have to tell them exactly why you want one which I find an extreme trigger . I broke down so badly I hung up . They continuously ask you questions for 20-30 minutes and even then that isn’t the proper ‘consult’ so you then have to wait for another phone call to do it all over again .
With this place if your appointment is before 3 pm they post the same day ( it comes the next day DPD I didn’t need a signature with mine either it just got posted through door )
If it’s after 3 then the post the next day , so worst case it’ll be there guaranteed within 48 hrs of your telephone app .
Xx

If I’d of known the rings Marie stopes would run around me I’d of gone private straight away I honestly think they made my situation 10 times worse by making me stay pregnant for 2 weeks after finding out .
I’d of got it nipped in bud by under 4 weeks if it wasn’t for them , I know they are under pressure and I obviously just drew the short straw by everyone wanting a termination around that time and they were busy . Touch wood I’m never ever in this situation again but if I am I’d go to them again for sure was 100% worth the money and takes away all the unnecessary stress. Xx

@Rose925 thank you so much for all the information - you have made me feel so much better with the choice to go private. It’s a male doctor and in the morning.

Sorry one more question - what is the gap between first pill and second pills?

Honestly I really appreciate you coming back to me. I’m sure I will feel regret like you, I think it’s normal - from other people though it does fade in time. I’m hoping to time it all while my parents are away this week - I am really close to them and I don’t want to have to hide it from them and pretend to be ill with a stomach bug etc if I can avoid it. I’m a terrible liar and I am not ready to tell them as I am sure they would be upset, they mean well and they would love another grandchild but I can’t deal with anyone else’s opinion..

@Helpsurprise21
I was out when the pills arrived, I didn’t get home until around 10pm and even then I avoided it as long as I could , I keeping putting it back in the blister pack. I finally had the courage to take it around 11pm then I took the second lot midday the next day, so a 12 hour window and I was fine. He said to wait but I couldn’t bare sitting with my thoughts a second longer.
It’s honestly not a problem it kind of helps me in a weird way helping someone else go through it. I can’t explain it but any questions I’m here as I know how isolating it can feel.
It’s crazy how it’s still so taboo yet 1in3 have a termination At least once in their life !

@Rose925 just had my consult, was so easy… very professional, didn’t pry… so worth the money so far!

@Helpsurprise21
I’m so glad it went ok , I did think of you . Yes he’s very to the point and doesn’t pry into any detail about why you’re doing it , but at the same time very informative of every potential aspect that you could face. It honestly wasn’t bad just get a hot water bottle and keep it on you at all times, keep filling it back up . I truly believe that’s what made it so easy
I bled more this period I’ve just had then the whole abortion process .

@Helpsurprise21 how are you ? Did they arrive ok ?

@Rose925 yes they came, took first one at 1.30pm yesterday. Going to take second lot later tonight as I can’t wait any longer and hopefully sleep for first few hours then maybe. camp out in front of the fire and Netflix. I want my three little boys to see me as little as possible when it’s happening hence doing it through the night.

I’m pretty terrified - crazy really as I have had three children. I’m scared something will go wrong. The clinic says under 6 weeks should be mild bleeding and I’m only just 5… still super worried though.