Medical this morning at 11am, really nervous

[25andscared]

I found out last week Thursday and to say I was terrified distraught all the emotions. Mine and my partners 1 year anniversary is coming as bf + gf in 2-3 weeks. We didn’t plan this at all and I’m still in shock as to why is it me that this has happened too. We are just not ready at all he had it in mind that we would be keeping it and since we found out he’s coming to terms with why it’s not the best time for us both. Sleeping has been hard I’m up all hours with stomach pains from nerves. This morning I burst out in tears as I am just so scared of the process, the pain everything. I never thought I would be in this position and feel like I’m in a dream. I’ve found comfort in reading others posts and knowing I’m not alone. Genuinely thought I’m 25 why would I just go ahead but I’ve seen so many people who are older on here that have made the same decision. I would have loved to tell my mum think she would be shocked a little sad and would maybe tell me to keep it. But I just know I’m not mentally ready. Any advice and support would be appreciated. I’ve never felt this nervous in my life.

I think more women regret having children in the wrong circumstances and with the wrong man. OP you need to discuss this with your partner, not people online. You're also entitled to have counselling as part of the process - take them up on it and make sure you make the right decision for you.

Avoid pro-lifers, OP. These are the same people who stand outside abortion clinics and shout at the staff and women going inside. They don't actually care about you. They just want to make you feel bad. They won't help you to deal with the difficulties of having a child you're not in the right situation to raise well.

I had a termination when I was 21 and was not emotionally ready. I went and had a surgical termination at Marie Stopes who were lovely and guided me through the process. They also discussed my choice with me and made 100% sure that it was what I wanted, they never once tried to sway me either way.

To give you another experience, I have never once regretted that termination. It was also a surprise with my boyfriend at the time (now my husband) who may have wanted to carry on but I was resolute with not as I didn't feel I could provide for a baby not just financially, but emotionally.

It has not affected my fertility and I fell pregnant on the first cycle after removing my implant at 26 with our much loved daughter.

This is just my experience but I wanted to give it as a balance against the statements that make it seem everyone regrets having a termination. It is an acceptable choice and if it is what you want, then don't let anything scare you into not doing it.

Marie Stopes should be able to offer to talk you through things before you have to make a decision on whether to go ahead.

Hand hold, OP.

The PP saying they deeply regret theirs do not speak for all of us, OP. What an incredibly unhelpful comment. Good luck to you. It's rough but you will be ok.

@akainsan

I deeply regret mine and most women do too

Horribly unhelpful comment.

I've had two at very different stages of my life and can honestly say I have never regretted either for even one second.

If you need more time to think do take it. The pain was like strong stomach cramps, no worse than that. There is nothing to be scared of.

@Alarae thanks so much for your words. I had the first tablet yesterday and due to take the next set today and I think I’m just scared of the pain. I think I’ve looked at too many horror stories on here. Happy to hear your experience was positive hoping mine goes okay today. My partner has been so supportive the last couple hours so that’s been helpful.

@LadyDanburysHat thank you! Not sure why people come on here if they’re just going to pass judgment and tell you what you should do! Helps to hear that they are strong cramps. How long did that last if you don’t mind me asking?

If I remember the cramps only lasted a few hours. It was a long time ago for me though.

I have had a medical termination OP and I do not regret it at all.
The actual procedure was fine for me, and it was just like a heavy period. Fingers crossed it goes well for you.

@25andscared you can take paracetamol and ibuprofen together - they don't interact. That should help you to manage any pain. Or get some codeine. And a hot water bottle or heat pad.

I hope you're okay, OP. I've had the same, about 4 years ago. We were engaged at the time, had just bought our first house but it was the worst timing. Family illness, so so skint and at the time, my fiancé wasn't even sure he wanted children so it was totally the right choice for us. I don't regret it but I think about it a lot. You're not alone

@25andscared
I hope you’re taking care of yourself and your partner is looking after you. Just remember, it’s your body, your choice. Sending hugs.x

Hope everything is going well for you. I had cramps no stronger than a 3 or 4 out of 10 on the pain scale with my termination at 7 weeks. I was prescribed codeine, which I'm sure helped with that. The unpleasant bit was over in an hour and I just sat on the toilet for 20-30 mins while it passed. Take painkillers as and when you need and get a hot water bottle and everything you need in range.

Thanks for your support everyone, I currently have the second set of tablets in my mouth now. Started having pain and bleeding around 4pm today, think that was from the first tablet yesterday was expecting it as I saw some women have bled from the first tablet. Taken some co-codamol just before putting the tablets in my mouth to help with the pain relief. Hoping this next phase goes fast.